judging people by their profession

I have a menial job. A lot of times people ask me what I work with. Sometimes I think it's ok but most times it bothers me. Like for example when I went to a church and a mosque and they asked me what I work with. How is it their business what I work with? Most of the time people who ask me appear quite clearly to be judging me when they hear what I work with. And to be honest I judge them by the fact that they judge me by my profession. After I tell people what I work with they might explain something as if they explained it to a child and ask me if it's too hard for me, or they might smile patronizingly. Sometimes when people ask I don't answer or I tell them it's none of their business, but other times I feel that it's inappropriate to do like that so I answer.

Why are people so interested in what you work with all the time? And especially since they know that they judge by the answer I assume a lot of it is a lack of humility and open-mindedness. I try not to care though, try to keep a distance to my ego.

reply to post by introspectionist


Well I think people are interested because sometimes they might need help with something and wonder whether you could help them.

My sister-in-law often asks me to help her daughter with reading. I'm a teacher so I gladly help her out.

I wouldn't ask my doctor to help me fix my computer, that's what the I.T. guy at our school is for.

My humble two cents,
RR

reply to post by introspectionist


I think that it is a normal question when people are just trying to start a conversation or keep it going. But whenever I was asked what I did for a living, I always replied that I was a contractor doing such and such a job for X company.

When you get hired by a company, you and they are agreeing to a contract after all and it's not that hard to come up with some high faluting name for whatever you do.

And since they ask first, it's pretty easy to get them talking about their job as well. If they are uncomfortable with that, then you can just end the conversation.

TDawgRex
reply to post by introspectionist

 

I think that it is a normal question when people are just trying to start a conversation or keep it going. But whenever I was asked what I did for a living, I always replied that I was a contractor doing such and such a job for X company.

When you get hired by a company, you and they are agreeing to a contract after all and it's not that hard to come up with some high faluting name for whatever you do.

And since they ask first, it's pretty easy to get them talking about their job as well. If they are uncomfortable with that, then you can just end the conversation.

You don't seem to get my point. People judge you when you answer. If you say you're a brain surgeon or rocket scientist they behave differently from if you say you're a cleaner. So when people know they judge the person, why should they have to ask if it's not important to know or in any situation? People judge you by how many sexual partners you have had too, but it's not ok to ask someone how many they have slept with. One guy asked me how many people I have slept with and I said it's my life. I should have said it's none of his business though. If someone asks you how many pairs of pants you own, they probably ask because they think you wear the same pants all the time=poor/dirty/low class/no style etc. or because you are constantly changing pants=vain/wasteful etc.. Either way it's a judgement and I don't think I'm obliged to answer such a stupid question. In a movie someone asked a new guy in a snobby boarding school what his dad votes for and he answered that it's none of his business. That's what I mean, and I think he did the right thing.

It's all about the situation and the mindset of the person who asks.

reply to post by introspectionist


Well... if you go to a mosque you get the really nosy people, they aren't satisfied they asked you enough questions that they know how much money is in your bank account... lol..That is just a different way, different culture... Just smile through it, its about all you can do!

Christians, I don't know, but it seems to be just a way to break the ice. What do you do for a living, how many kids do you have, what are your hobbies... all innocuous breaking the ice type of questions that strangers ask each other when thrown together in social situations. I never thought they seemed to care much what the answers were.

If you are happy with your life, then what others think of it makes no difference at all. Just be you, if anyone judges you for that, well... you weren't going to be friends with them anyway! This is how you find real friends, when you find the people who don't look down on you for just being you, and are happy to just be themselves right beside you.

Don't be a follower, be a leader!

There was a lady, loved her to death btw... but she did not eat her food with silverware, and this was seen as low class to the rest of the people there (as it was a wealthier mosque) No one would eat with her... she sat alone at a table, with everyone else sitting in clicks all around the room.

I went and sat with her, instead of sitting with anyone else... and we ate together. I was me, and she was herself. The next time there was a dinner, more people sat with her when I went did...She ended up being a very close friend of mine, and she ended up not being shunned by the rest of the women.

But I tell you what, she never once changed who she was... she was always just her. In the end, that is why everyone loved her so much!

You just have to keep being you, don't let anyone else bother you one bit!

reply to post by introspectionist


Having a "menial job", you may not understand the concept of "networking".

As a businessperson, I am very interested in what the people I associate with do for a living. First, there may be a chance to work together to do something. Beyond that, I may not want to associate with a really nice lady who happens to be a stripper, as it would damage my reputation and the reputation of my business. Which jeopardizes the welfare of each employee relying on the job we provide them.

THere are reasons for the social processes we follow. As you note, sometimes it is about pecking order and whatnot. But to me, it is about finding my own opportunities by leveraging relationships to the benefit of both parties.

reply to post by introspectionist


I guess I could add that there are a few valid points of "judgement". I think of it as "assessment", as that is far, far more accurate regarding what is happening. Example: as a 50ish man you say, "I am a housekeeper at Hotel X". You could assess the situation differently based on other answers in conversation. But there is a reason that a 50 year old man would be a housekeeper, and not all of them bad.

Same with a 22 year old lady that reports being a General Practitioner. Someone so young being a doctor....there is something to assess as that is fairly unusual.

If i am talking to someone who reports being a psychologist, I may wish to hedge my conversation. If its a mechanic....you see the obvious here.

Judging and assessing....two words for the same thing. Just that one is describing it negatively. Don't sweat it...stand up, be proud, and be amazing as you are.

They probably think if they have a better job they would be higher on the social ladder , together with the fact that mankind has a talent in always wanting more , or even other ppl's belonging / careers .

People are just never happy with what they have , i have a meaningless job to most people , it doesnt give me a nobel price or a GulfStream parked in my backyard , but it does give me Stability , and it provided a basis to expand my life by taking on a mortgage , owning a nice appartment , and drive a nice car , and do the things i want.

TheGreazel.

EDIT :

At the end of the day it doesnt matter who has the better job , the Doctor or the Truck driver , both are needed , without truck drivers your supermarkets would be empty but without the doctor we would have a hard time dealing with minor diseases.

All tasks are equally important , but since its all about dividing throughout every social layer ofcourse we could see this card being played.

reply to post by introspectionist


If you are uncomfortable in stating your profession say

"my work is confidential"

Or

"I'm sorry that is classified information" and leave it at that.

When you go to a church people often ask you what you do. It is not what you think it is. They are trying to find your interests so they can have something to talk to you about most times. Another possibility is that they like to support their kind, if you start going to the church they will support you by buying from where you are employed. This is one of the Christian practices. If you have a small business you gain customers from those of your kind. Some people exploit this and join many organizations just to profit from it.

Don't automatically believe this is negative. In the future one of these people may decide to give you a better job or give you some work around their house to subsidize your income. Remember that people of a kind stick together, forming a bond.

I am not trying to steer you to join a church, only telling you some things that can possibly help you. This practice is utilized everywhere, discounts are given to people who are mechanics. People who are builders get discounts and some good deals because they are regular customers. Attitude is always important to benefit from this. And remember, you have to join in, the benefit is mutual. If they help you you need to support them and help others in the group you belong to. No man is an island.

This is how society works....or is supposed to work. Right now everyone is getting more out for themselves and society is falling apart here in America. The church may need your help in the experience of your profession someday or one of the members. Don't have a negative attitude towards this...it is highly possible that what you think of as bad is not.

reply to post by introspectionist


Hi there. Well I could not care less what people do. Wether they are a top sportsman, A TV star, A bricklayer or cleaner. Everyone gets the same respect and conversation off me. I'm more interested in the person themselves. I had an argument with a sportstar once over here who was as arrogant as they come. He told me to get out of a lift because "he was going to use it" I told him to make me! He was a boxer who thought he was a lot better than he was. And he was only a short arse!..I talk to people everyday from old people to street cleaners and they are truly great to me

Judegment is inappropriate ... On all levels.

I look at a person and not their job title.

It's small chat, people wanna know what ya do for a living. Just like how's the weather?

reply to post by rickymouse


This is correct. I ended up where I am right now because I was involved in Rotary, and networked myself into a job that would have otherwise been well beyond my ability to actually seek. Had it not been for that contact in Rotary, they would have hired someone from outside the community and moved them in to do this work, and I would have accepted a job with The Scooter Store to run their workforce management department. That one in New Braunfels that the Feds busted and shut down....yeah.

introspectionist
I have a menial job. A lot of times people ask me what I work with. Sometimes I think it's ok but most times it bothers me. Like for example when I went to a church and a mosque and they asked me what I work with. How is it their business what I work with? Most of the time people who ask me appear quite clearly to be judging me when they hear what I work with. And to be honest I judge them by the fact that they judge me by my profession. After I tell people what I work with they might explain something as if they explained it to a child and ask me if it's too hard for me, or they might smile patronizingly. Sometimes when people ask I don't answer or I tell them it's none of their business, but other times I feel that it's inappropriate to do like that so I answer.

Why are people so interested in what you work with all the time? And especially since they know that they judge by the answer I assume a lot of it is a lack of humility and open-mindedness. I try not to care though, try to keep a distance to my ego.

edit on 04131Sat, 11 Jan 2014 06:04:04 -0600201404pAmerica/Chicago2014-01-11T06:04:04-06:0031 by introspectionist because: (no reason given)

First of all, everyone has certain phases in their life. Usually these phases are delineated by their occupation. When I was first out of HS, 90% of my friends were in college. I was waiting tables and bartended. I found that I was upset...comparing myself to them. They were becoming lawyers and Doctors...what was I doing? Pouring coffee.

I found a way past this. I realized, that if I did my job properly, there was an almost guaranteed chance that people would leave in a better mood than when they got there. I was making people happy by doing this. This mechanism truly allowed me to see things in a different but true light, and kept my head held high.

Now, decades later, and having realized that bartending and waiting tables didn't engage my brain enough.....I'm a computer programmer. I work on systems that are integral to international commerce, as well as the international energy industry, not to mention systems that ensure my coworkers are paid correctly and receive the benefits they were promised in exchange for the work they do.


My question to you is, do you like what you do? Does it make you feel good as a result of doing it?

If the answer is no, then take the steps you need to take to change the situation. Enter a new phase in life.

If the answer is yes, then screw what people think. Your "menial job" is needed, I guarantee it. You help this society move forward. And you like what you do. That is a good thing

bigfatfurrytexan
reply to post by introspectionist

 

Having a "menial job", you may not understand the concept of "networking".

"Ouch"!

This is how much I care about people's opinions who I barely know or barely know me....

I have my targets in life and I'll accomplish them. I know that at the end of the day I do a highly skilled job in a stressful situation where the end game makes a difference. So if I meet some random person that has no impact on me then it's essentially GIGO..

If you are content or happy with your job then that is what matters and if someone wants to judge you because you are a cleaner to a network engineer to a Operator in the special forces it doesn't matter as long as you are doing what it takes to accomplish your goals in life.

reply to post by introspectionist


I do get your point. I don't think you got mine.

For instance, I was a dock worker. But if people wanted to know what I did for money, I told them that I was contracted with a logistics company in the logistics field, tracking and moving frieght.

See what I mean? I'm telling the truth, but made a job sound more glamous than it really was. You don't have to lie, it's on how you want them to hear it.

But nowadays, if the person strikes me as snobbish and they ask me what I do for a living, I tell them that I don't work. Work is for the masses. That always gets a rise out of them.

The people that know me already know I'm retired...and bored stiff as well. LOL

zeroBelief

bigfatfurrytexan
reply to post by introspectionist

 

Having a "menial job", you may not understand the concept of "networking".

"Ouch"!

The "menial job" was the OP description. Having worked as a CNA, cleaning up and feeding peoples grandparents in a nursing home, I know the meaning of "menial job". I cleaned toilets/windows in college, then dropped out. I roofed, did odd jobs like mowing, etc. in 2009 I worked for a former employee at a payday loan store as a stop gap while I was unemployed. So it isn't like I don't have a handle on the position the OP has currently.

A series of breakthroughs in my thinking, combined with a viral infection, made me a different person. I realize things that had I realized when I was 22 would have literally changed my life. I was always consider bright by my teachers, but I just all of a sudden became able to actualize that into results.

It wasn't meant as a stinging statement. I am not shy about laying out sharp and stinging statements, either. Just not in that case.

What do you do or work with?

I am judgmental.

I must agree, the moment people find out my profession is a Drag Queen the shade gets tossed hunty!

i get responses from "That is not a real job" to "oh so you don't have a job".

as long as you are living, and enjoying your life and your profession, people are going to judge regardless, but what other people think of me is none of my business