Personally, I beleive that a touch of seduction in a good way,and not to take advantage of others but to boost confidence may be good, but then,
who defines limits or extents of seduction? its complicated. I dont condemn her totally, neither do I agree with her totally.
This was a comment I read at youtube for a TEDx video about seduction. I don't even want to link it. Go to youtube if you would like to see it.
Mike: It's complicated? I'll show you how complicated it is. And thats my point. If you want to be moral, you have to think sophisticatedly. Thus, if
you want to use seduction in everyday life, you best be sure about your ability to adjust how you act with different people. To for instance, be aware
of how you're being seductive. Some people don't like that, and if they give you a signal in their body language, the normal (and rational) thing to
do is understand and honor their feelings.
If you can do this, than fine. You're morally justified as a person to play the seductress from time to time.
But most people lack the mindfulness for this type of behavior. They lack incentive - they're not very impressed by the dynamics of their inner world
- and so they will lack the ability to monitor themselves before they act.
The great thing about the human brain is, the more we practice a certain behavior, it eventually becomes unconscious and implicit in the brains
associational centers. A particular context - say, a person you often relate with - will bring to your mind a particular behavior. These two factors
are coded together, so that when you interact with that person who seems bothered by your seductions, it'll bring to mind a certain behavioral action
tendency i.e. speak to him without seductive behaviors.
But you know what? The more I think about this, the more bothered I become. There is something obnoxious about relating with non-partners in a
seductive way. But what essentially bothers me is that seduction is a volatile emotion. Its evolutionary basis lies in a man seeking to woo a woman.
Its not simply a behavior, it's a behavior with a context.
It's essentially well known that an overly sexualized and wild society flies to the edge of "chaos". It's inevitable. Its a simple fact of emotional
dynamics priming human cognitions. Besides that, sexuality is the strongest emotion mankind knows.
At the other end of the spectrum you get religious conservatism, mindlessly rigid and stubborn.
Life really is about balance. Look at the body for an example of how you should live life (if you think, maybe, the body can be a source of wisdom).
The body needs balance to thrive. It needs a particular diet with a particular nutrition. It needs at least 8 hours of rest a night to optimally
function.Things that are not relevant to the human organism, and which cause a massive dysregulation in it's homeostatic state, cause disease to
happen. Too much sugar, too much carbohydrates, too much fat, too much sodium, etc, will have definitive, repeatable effects on the bodies health.
Human beings also need physical activity. For milennia, our species was active. We needed to run, and move, and carry, and lift, and climb, far more
than we do today. This means our metabolic needs work in rhythm with activity levels. There are genes called hox genes which contain information like
'how much activity level this species generally acts with".
Yes, complicated. This is how organisms work though. Everything about the organisms shape, size, behaviour, life span, activity level, is coded in our
genes as meta-information, to recreate the organism in exactly this way.
This being the case, why not acknowledge, as we have learned and keep needing to learn (for some deep reason) that seduction - a behavior which uses
sexual innuendo in relating with another - done in excess promotes dysregulated behavior patterns?
I am not saying seduction is bad. But I am saying it a powerful force best kept between a couple.
This left liberal "do whatever makes you feel good" way of thinking is the left extreme correlate of pat robertson christian conservatism. The former
is too chaotic, while the latter is too rigid. This is actually how systems theory (an interdisciplinary study of systems) defines systems. Systems
need to work in harmony to maximize output. The optimal range lies in the middle. Too much disorganized and unintegrated activity will produce chaos;
too little differentiation and movement will cause rigidity. In my mind, this is promoting seduction as a "necessary life skill" and religious
fundamentalism. It's just a nervous system correlate of the same thing observed in systems theory.
Human society is going in this direction, I am firmly convinced of this. If we can incrementally convert more and more people to this balanced way of
thinking and seeing things, we will see incremental improvements, generation after generation. I'm not sure how long this will take, but what I do
know, the world is becoming a more moral place every year (Steven Pinker proves this in his masterful study of evil behavior over the last 6000
years). Today, we show a conideration and mindfulness that we never demonstrated 50 years ago, or 80 years ago. Our emotions are being clarified year
after year. Compassion is taking a broader role in our collective thinking. Tolerance is also playing a more expansive role. But notice: tolerance is
not universally applicable at all times. To do that would be to engage in chaos. It would throw society all out of whack if we let people just do what
they want without stricture. We also need laws, against killing, against stealing and against assault. The more we hone down, the more things become
wrong. Its wrong to embezzle money - it's a type of stealing. It's wrong to commit insurance fraud - it's a type of stealing.
We can also look at emotions in this way. After all, it is the interaction between emotions and objects in our environment which create events in the
world. If a certain emotion, like seduction, is engaged in again and again - we need to keep in mind the type of emotion were experiencing. Not only
do we experience, but with each experience, we are training our brains to seek this sort of behaviour: basic dopamine reward seeking.
It would take tremendous mindful to control this behavior. But the problem really isn't your lack of control. It's other peoples lack of control. If
this type of mindfulness is rare, that means most people are at the mercy of their emotions. They can't help it. So, even though you - do not mean
your seductive behavior to imply that you want to have sex with that person - the individual, most likely a member of the opposite sex, will feel
frustrated by these experiences. One, he would not have your perspective of things, so he wouldn't naturally engage in seductive behaviors. And two,
if he's a man in a particular, he will get hard just talking to you. Ever heard of blue balls? That is not just a feeling in the body, but an
emotional feeling as well. Each experience contributes a new aspect or perpetuates an old aspect in the developing human nervous system.
It's amazing the nuances and subtleties in how our nervous system and brain functions. Emotion is such a powerful and primal force within us humans.
We need to better respect that, acknowledge how evolution has shaped particular action tendencies, and how they are blueprinted and strongly implied
in each of our behaviors.
edit on 9-1-2014 by Astrocyte because: (no reason given)