Memories of my Life

Memories of my Life


These are events that have happened to me. I cannot say for certain if you will find them enjoyable to read or if you will even believe them. I have only edited for spelling, wanting the words to come as I pull the memory from my head. You may have trouble reading/understanding what is written, feel free to ask for clarification if needed.



***

My first encounter with strangeness was at an early age. I remember being at my grandpas farm. I was playing outdoors at a very young age, maybe six or seven. The day was warm and calm, blue skies and sunshine everywhere. I had picked up a leaf that was on the ground and was making tracks in the dirt with it. When I stood up, a warm wind enveloped me. I just stood there, a little confused, too young to know what was going on. As I watched, the wind picked up all the leaves around me and made them circle my body in the air. I watched as they danced around me, scared and excited at the same time. It was hypnotizing, beautiful, and magical. I don't remember how long it lasted, I do remember my mother coming out of the house and saying it was time to go. As soon as she stepped out of the house, the wind disappeared and the leaves fell to the ground. I felt a great sadness that I had to go, I wanted to stay and play in the wind some more.


***

When I was thirteen, my grandpa died. He was an older man, around sixty when he died. He had come over from Germany with his family, been a farmer all his life. He had a heart attack while driving on his tractor. My grandma was devastated. They had the kind of love everyone wishes for. And as I look back, it was its own form of magic. Deep, life long, forever love, the kind that we all search for and long to have. My mother was devastated as well, having been very close to her dad all her life. I remember the days leading up to the funeral, my dad never left her side. But there was something different about him. His whole demeanor had changed. The way he walked , talked, even his eyes were different.

On the day of the funeral, I tried to get close to my mother, tried to hold her hand and comfort her. My dad got angry and pushed me away. I was so upset I ran to my sister with tears in my eyes. Staying far away from the man I knew wasn't my father. He didn't act like my dad, and he spoke with a slight German accent that he never had before.

Afterwards, at home, the family gathered around the table to share memories of grandpa with one another. I being the youngest and this being my first experience with death, mostly just listened. My attention focused on my dad and wondering who he was throughout the conversation. After a few minutes, my oldest sister stood up and pointed at my dad. Her eyes were full of terror as she yelled "You are not my father, your grandpa, your grandpa!"

All seven of us kids stood up and stared at the imposter, fear and wonder overtaking us. My father sat calmly at my mother's side. He never took his eyes off of her while he calmly stated "that's right, this is grandpa, this is grandpa." He took my mom's hand in his, rubbed the back of his hand down her cheek, then he was gone.

When I looked into my dad's eyes, he was back. The soft, caring eyes of the good gentle man I knew and loved. He looked up at all of us, then back down at my mom and asked what happened. The last thing he remembered was getting word that grandpa had died. The last few days of his life were gone. He said that it felt like he was in the most peaceful, loving sleep he had ever been in. That he had never felt so much love or serenity in his life as he did when he was "gone". Not like he was dead, but more like he was in limbo, no white light, no darkness, just peace and love.

***

When I was eighteen and about one month from graduating high school, I got a sad feeling inside me. I was in my bedroom crying, for what reasons I did not know. I grabbed a pencil and paper and started to write. I had to write, the feeling was so overwhelming, I had to get it out. I wrote about death, a young girls obituary actually. I hated every word I put to paper, each one making me cry a little more. The next day I went to school, the halls were filled with people crying. The school counselor was standing at the ready, for anyone who wanted or needed to speak with her. I had no idea what was going on. It wasn't until I sat down in my first class that I found out one of my classmates had died the night before, a car crash.

I never told anyone about the obituary I wrote. It was about a young girl who died in a car crash. And that night I went home and burned the thing in the fireplace. I was so upset, I never picked up pen and paper again until I was in my late twenties.

***

Driving home from work one day, I was feeling unusually down. I was so depressed, upset, that I couldn't see where I was going, the tears were flowing from my eyes so hard. It was about an hour's drive through the city to reach my home. My life had taken a turn for the worse, I had never felt so low as I did that day. Asking all the questions everyone asks when they get down or something happens to them. Why does it have to be this way? What did I do to deserve this? Blah, blah, blah....

But this was more than just that. I was beating myself up pretty bad. I was stupid, ugly, my life had no meaning. What was the point of being here? After about fifteen minutes of total self annihilation, I heard a voice in my head. "You will always be beautiful, that's my gift to you." I freaked out, it wasn't my voice I was hearing, we all recognize our own inner voice. This was from someone, something else.

I continued driving, still crying, but not so hard now, as I had something else to think about. When I was about ten minutes away from home, I got caught at a red light. I stopped and waited with the other daily commuters, and I hear a tap on my window. I look to see a man holding flowers. I open the window and he holds out the flowers for me. "I just felt I had to give you these." I took the flowers, thanked the man and drove home to my husband. When I got home, I hugged my daughter tightly, kissed my husband and told him how much I loved him, and thanked the powers that be for the gift they had given me.


Continued...

***
My first marriage was full of love and trust. Upon reflection, if I had been older and understood the world a little better, I would probably still be married today. But we were young and stupid and dreamers. Our family had a beach home and we would spend every holiday, weekend, or spare moment there. It was a beautiful place, we would go there to get away from the madness of the city. To just relax and unwind, just live.

One holiday, I had been drinking way too much. I really hadn't noticed how many glasses I had had. The neighbors had made some concoction that tasted like Hawaiian punch. Unfortunately, they went down like it too. I remember being outside around the fire pit, downing the last little bit that was in my cup, then nothing.

The next thing I remember is my husband holding me down in the bedroom. Apparently I had become violent towards him. He kept saying "I'm not going to take your daughter away, I would never do that." I had no idea what he was talking about. I still do not remember a thing about that night to this day. Nothing but him saying those words. After which, I blacked out again and the next day I spent sleeping it off in the bedroom.

**Cut to five years later**

My husband and I were getting a divorce. It was a messy one, I just wanted to take whatever I had had before the marriage and leave. He was too hurt to let that happen. Because he could offer a better, more stable living environment (house, school, money) he got custody of my child. For two years I had to live without her, weekly visitations, phone calls were all I had. Fortunately my bond with her was too strong. And his new wife didn't like having someone else's child under her roof. I saved up money for a lawyer and got her back. Still the happiest moment ever in my life.

But I wonder to this day....did I know he was going to do this when I got drunk and passed out that night five years earlier? Is that why I freaked out and went after him? I must have had some idea what was going to happen, some internal instinct must have told me. Is that why our marriage didn't last? Because deep down inside, I knew the monster he could be, I knew what he was going to do? Needless to say, I don't drink anything, anymore, ever. I haven't had a drop since my daughter came back into my life. (No, I wasn't an alcoholic, I drank only at social gatherings and usually no more than two glasses)

***

I was at work pulling an overnight. They were upgrading the system and someone had to be there while it was being done. The crew that they sent consisted of two men, one of them bringing his wife along with him. I had work I had to do so I busied myself with that as they did theirs. About two hours in, the lady just starts to talk to me. She tells me how my life is unbalanced, which it was, and how I need to be more open and honest with myself and others.

There was no opening conversation, no small talk before this. She just comes right out and says it. I was a little freaked out by it, so used to keeping my personal, true self locked hidden away from others. I was not ready or able to open up to someone I knew, let alone a total stranger. But she just continued on, telling me about the problems I had, the challenges I faced.

I had no idea how she knew what she knew, or why she said the things she did. Everything she told me after that was true, detailed information about my life that only I would have known. She mentioned names and places, feelings and emotions that I never shared with anyone. It was eye opening to experience something like that. I had had many, many experiences in my life that were unusual, some I have listed above. But this was so deep and profound an experience for me. She told me my life story, as though she was reading it from a book.

In the end, she helped me to realize what I needed to do in order to fix my life. She showed me how to keep focused on what truly mattered most and to forget the things that meant nothing. I would be in a different place in my life if I hadn't met her that night. She truly did heal my soul.

***
Yesterday I was at work and was helping a customer when out of the blue, she offers to heal me with her energy. I ask how she would do that and she explains the process to me. Of course I said yes, who wouldn't want to experience something like that? We sit down and she lays her hands upon me. I could feel the energy flowing through me as she went about her work. Maybe it was just that I wanted to believe it would work, maybe it was real. I'm not sure, my logic and reason sometimes overtake my spiritual side. But I can say for sure that she had positive energy flowing around her. You just felt so much better in her presence. I felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders and I was just able to "be".

She finishes up and does a energy reading for me as well. She also tells me about what's wrong in my life and how I can fix it. I was so excited and surprised by this whole experience. I thanked her and got her phone number so I could see her again.

I ask her if anyone has ever refused to be healed by her. She says no, not one person. She tells me that some people are not ready for the experience, that they are not on that path yet. I know in my heart that I may be one of those people. Although I have had many things happen in my life that cannot be explained, I still use logic as a way to make my way through this world.

**Final thoughts**

But maybe life is about balance. Maybe we're supposed to try and explain these things away, but have the courage to experience them, be open to them. I know that the things above have made me a better person, helped me through some major rough roads in my life, and scared the crap out of me sometimes. If I wasn't open to these experiences, they would have never happened to me, of that I am sure. Yet if I didn't have logic to help explain some of them, I would surely have been placed in the loony bin by now.

I have put this in short stories as none of it can be proven as fact. It is just sort of a memoir of strange happenings in my life that I felt the need to write down.

Thanks,
Blend57

reply to post by blend57


Hey friend
I'm glad you shared these stories. I think you have the ability to 'see'.. If you know what I mean. I hear tale that there are quite a lot of people who can see and are sensitive.. I for one can only see a little..and I am a sensitive to the next realms or realm.. Or dimensions..or whatever it is.

The story of your grandpa was really interesting. I think things like that can happen...

Sorry to hear the story of your daughter... But the outcome was beautiful. I truly feel we go through suffering to learn and grow and become more aware..that is if we do learn.. And it sure seems like you're a learner...as am I.

I enjoyed reading these. Even if some of it is sad, that's ok, you told the stories nicely and life can be sad... A lot..

See last night.. I started writing a story but only in my head... I mean I already know the story..I was just trying to figure up in my head how I would begin telling it in story form...
It's about my fall I had that resulted in brain injury. Lately that night keeps coming into my head and it's not very pleasant.. Nor the months after... Or even now sometimes... But I feel I need to write the story down. I know I wrote about it some in my journal years ago..but I'm not sure if I wrote great detail..I just can't remember...

So you telling all your stories... Is giving me some inspiration to maybe be able to share mine..
Thank you B.
Peace and much love and hugs to you friend ~~>>
-nat

Wow that was a interesting read. You sure have had some strange things happen. I'm not that sensitive (or lucky) to have any experiences like that. Although animals and especially children like me for some reason. Even wild guard dogs seem to go all soft on me thank goodness!. One farm near me I went to and I did not know there was a big German Shephard there round the back.. It came from nowhere and ran at me then just lay on its back tail wagging! The farmer said he never seen it do that to anyone. I have also had the same effect at scrapyards. But I don't find this unusual. Maybe I just look like a giant dog treat!..But it certainly seems like you have a psychic gift of some sorts. I wonder why some people see things and others dont. Makes you wonder

Adding a few more things... again, not provable, just what I have experienced recently. Also written as the memories come back, not checked for grammar errors..just letting it flow....

***


A year ago I moved back home. A few things of a personal nature were happening and I needed some family support and honestly, I needed to find out who I was again, needed to find my way back to me. Within the last year, I have witnessed a few things that I cannot explain. But I am sure they are explainable.

I was sitting in my room surfing the net when I catch out of the corner of my eye a black puff of smoke. Now normally I would put this into "it was a shadow, my eyes were playing tricks" category. But I turned my head and looked straight at it. I sat there for a few moments and watched as it started from the top of the stairs and floated down them until it reached the second to the last step.

I got a little worried, not only about what I was seeing, but about my mental state at well. I felt I needed to break the silence, to bring me back to reality. So I stated out loud "I never invited you here, leave, you're not welcome " and immediately after that the black puff of smoke disappeared.

This thing wasn't a shadow, it wasn't little, I would say it was about the size of a basketball. It wasn't see through, but it was smoky. I dunno what it was, but I never saw it after that one time. I am unsure how to explain that one, so I am just putting it into the "figment of my imagination" category and letting it go.

***

I was at work and was ready to leave for the day. This was early afternoon, between three and four p.m. I got stopped by one of my supervisors at the door and we chatted for a few minutes about what still needed to be done during the evening hours. After that I turned to leave and as I was walking out I saw someone walking in. He was wearing a suit and had on a hat, I believe a pompadore is what it is called. About my height, maybe a little taller.

Anyways, it was too late, we were going to bump into one another. I couldn't swerve to miss him, he was to close, so I braced for impact. I kept my eyes open until the very last second, and when I would normally have closed them and looked away, at the point of impact, something strange happened... He walked right through me. And as I turned to look and see where he had gone, there was no one there.

My supervisor was still standing at the door, and I asked her if she just saw that guy who walked in. She said no one had come through the door within the last five minutes. I stood there for a few seconds, just taking it all in. Then I left, spending the ride home contemplating what the heck had just happened.

***

I was enjoying a day off, and was getting ready to go out for a walk. It makes me happy and gives me an internal sense of peace and serenity to be out in nature. It calms my soul if that makes any sense..I just feel better overall.

Anyhow, I step outside and take in my immediate surroundings. The green trees, the flowers , the birds singing, the sun shining..perfect day. I look up at the sky and my jaw drops. I am not a cloud watcher by any means. If anything, I prefer to look at the night sky. So, to see a shape in the clouds is very unusual for me. I never, ever look that close.

But for this particular shape, you didn't have to. I cannot even begin to describe it as well as it deserves to be. I tried drawing it, can't do it. It was just something you had to see to believe. But I will give it another go here, doubt it will be anything close to what I saw...

Yes, it was a face..but more then that. It was a mans face, and it was very clear. NOT "kinda" there, not pareidolia,it was clear. You could see the beard, the lips, the wavy hair. Every feature was very defined. He had a crown on his head and he was "blowing" the clouds through the sky, pushing them past the sun. Not the best description, I know..but like I said, words can not give what I saw any justice.

I ran into to get my cell phone. I wanted to take a picture not to share with the world, but to show a select few people I know would want to see it. By the time I got back outside, it may have been one to two minutes, it was gone.

I know how this sounds, I know what I would think if I read it. But that is why I have put this in the short story section, none of it can be proven. I just wanted to document it, to have a record of it. And since I started the documentation here, it felt right to keep going.


thanks,
blend57

Well that is some bizarre set of things to happen to anybody...I suppose... Weird things happen sometimes.

But the unexpected can always be expected in life. Definitions of good or bad may vary in the expected unexpected phenomenon, and what there meanings are often subject to change, while there interpretations are varied by opinions even perspectives.

However the only thing one can take out of short stories in this forum is, cool story bro.

But ya weird stuff. Kind of like finding a potato chip that looks like your grandfather one day while munching on a bag of lays potato chips, then thinking this is a sign from the afterlife, or the potato chip gods are trying to tell you something. But then your like oh what the hell, and munch it on down.

Such is life, it always munches on along, regardless. Careless of our interpretations of random phenomena.

a reply to: blend57
That's pretty wild happenings. Like I stated before.. You can see into other realms or dimensions, at least that's what I think. If you're open to things like that, the more often these happenings occur, again this is just what I think.
I think it's all highly interesting and I'm glad you shared more stories. I believe each one is something you truly saw and not figments of your imagination.