An Atheist's Epiphany

I remember very clearly walking to hospital in Glasgow, to see my friend. It was my day off, and although it was early, the city was busy. This was about 10 years ago now, maybe more, but I can remember it clearly because it was one of those rare moments in life when I was certain. I have never been so clear or so certain about anything before or since that moment.

My friend must have been about 14 or 15 then. I had known her for about 6 years, as she was a client in the centre I worked at. She had severe cerebral palsy, she was blind, had been diagnosed with a learning difficulty and suffered from epilepsy. Her family were from Pakistan, and so English was not her first language, but despite the differences between us, somehow we had become good friends. We had the same sense of humour and we enjoyed each other’s company.

I was worrying about her as I walked to hospital. She had been taken to an adult ward, for reasons I have forgotten. Her seizures had gradually become worse, coming more often, closer together and more severe. Her prognosis, if I’m honest, was not great. I worried about her being in an adult ward, I worried that she would be frightened, I worried that her epilepsy may have caused further brain damage, I worried that she might be in pain. All I wanted was for her to be ok, because I loved her.

So there I was heading to hospital with a pink Mohican, a beat up biker’s jacket and a little bunch of pink roses, to see my friend. And then I saw it. On a huge billboard, in the city centre someone had plastered a poster: God Is Love. I glanced at it, and probably rolled my eyes, and then it hit me.

God Is Love.

That thing, that feeling which I was feeling right at that moment, the feeling of love for another, of genuine, pure and selfless love was called God. It could have another name, but it didn’t. For centuries people have tried to explain, and some have personified it, but right at that moment, I understood. The feeling I felt was called God.

And so I guess that’s why I say I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in a person called God. But I believe in that feeing because I experienced it.

If you’ve got this far, thanks for reading. Maybe you would even be willing to share your story with me. I don’t know for sure if mine is the right interpretation, but it feels right for me, at this moment. Thanks little friend, even though you never saw me, or spoke to me you taught me about God.

Rest in Peace.

Love is a truly great, immaterial thing. It is so immaterial that it can be argued it isn't even there. Yet, between two people, it surely can and does exist by means of it's strength alone.

As something of a pragmatist, I'd be prone to say that it is a chemical reaction to an established signal between two people. Unique in transaction, for instance, even a Mother and Father cannot love their child in exactly the same way.

What you felt truly was beautiful. Particularly so as I can only presume there was no sexual instinct or draw in it. Your words alone speak to a sisterly or motherly love (presuming you are female).

I'd even go so far as to say that the capacity for love is truly the pinnacle of what it is to be a human being.



My condolences for for your loss.

reply to post by zeroBelief


Thank-you Zero.
Yes, I am female and you're right, it was a sisterly love, very certainly platonic.
I appreciate your reading.

B x

reply to post by beansidhe


I recently did a post about the sensation of the divine, I feel like this is another aspect of the humility people get when they worship God, at the end of the day, we all need someone to love and it can change our lives. People who are in a bad place or have done bad things receive salvation through God, one thing i've noticed about religion is that they always have to remind you about how much God and Jesus etc love you, it's drilled into everyone.

reply to post by iRoyalty


I don't really know about religion, I never seem to get it quite right.
Can you put up a link to your thread, I'd like to read it. Thanks x

reply to post by beansidhe


It's 100% one of my favourite topics, after all the things i've heard and read, I settled for the one that doesn't have a God and actually wants you to have an open mind about life haha

www.abovetopsecret.com...

It's about the sensation of peace you get from a holy place, I didn't think about epiphanies though, I wonder if you can relate your experience to it? I'd like an atheists views so that there is an argument for the psychological.

reply to post by iRoyalty


Thanks iRoyalty, I'll read it as soon as I can!

God is love but that would only be one adjective. I think that the human body is a machine, as such is designed as a logic computer. What fails this machine is the infusing of God or Source to said machine, we understand them as emotions. Love, hate, anger, fear, happiness, pride, humbleness are all aspects of Source. If it wasn't for the infusing of source all men/women would be as predictable as an ATM machine.

Most find emotions as an inconvenience because often we allow it to drive our decisions which many times always appears to be detrimental. "I can't believe I just did that" ....regret. Until you think about it in hindsight and the decision you made makes sense because it out you on a path that now experiencing it you wouldn't change if you had the chance. If you don't feel that way about a decision its likely because you're still not able to see the bigger picture because the good that comes from every bad decision just didn't reveal itself yet. Everything is as it should be and sometime we may never see the bigger picture. This can also be explained because many see things through the service of self glasses. A decision you made that caused negative consequences to you may have changed someone else's life for the better.

Thanks for sharing.

reply to post by Rosinitiate


Thanks for reading, really, I appreciate the responses.
That is a really interesting way of looking at life. I hadn't thought of all emotions as coming from Source ( I like that) before. I'm a very emotion-driven person, I took them for granted and assumed everyone else was the same, for a while.

Thanks Rosinitiate.

beansidhe
reply to post by Rosinitiate

 

Thanks for reading, really, I appreciate the responses.
That is a really interesting way of looking at life. I hadn't thought of all emotions as coming from Source ( I like that) before. I'm a very emotion-driven person, I took them for granted and assumed everyone else was the same, for a while.

Thanks Rosinitiate.

Emotions are what gives us "experiences" and separates us from....well, machines. I try to look at it like this, if Source was all knowing and all powerful it would be incapable of experiencing. Why not create matrix to infuse yourself in so you can experience?

I personally feel that when we see ourselves as separate individuals we are seeing things through our "ATM" side but when we stop and recognize that source has been infused in us all, then to me it means we are one, we are source experiencing itself. Each baby born provides source a new lens in which to view itself which is much better than just simply being. A little strange i know but it works for me!

Stay Sacred

Rosinitiate

beansidhe
reply to post by Rosinitiate

 

Thanks for reading, really, I appreciate the responses.
That is a really interesting way of looking at life. I hadn't thought of all emotions as coming from Source ( I like that) before. I'm a very emotion-driven person, I took them for granted and assumed everyone else was the same, for a while.

Thanks Rosinitiate.

Each baby born provides source a new lens in which to view itself which is much better than just simply being. A little strange i know but it works for me!

Stay Sacred

I get you! A new lens, that's a really beautiful way of looking at the world.
And if it works, don't fix it!

Thanks for sharing. Pretty deep stuff there, I found it heart warming, truly.

Love has always been one of those things people have always aimed for. They want to find that one person they've been searching for. It begins to make sense why most people tend to call it "making love." More satisfactory emotions or sensations are what we always aim for in fact.

"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Why do you think so many people hold that statement so highly? It's what makes us feel good, it's what makes us feel alive..

And it begins to make sense why people start combining these things together. Or why religions try to make their way into other sensations. We always want to feel a sense of purpose, freedom, and connectedness. Maybe it's just survival instinct, or chemical/biological tricks. Or perhaps it is our spiritual desire to become in unison or harmony. I don't rightly know for sure.

reply to post by Lingweenie


I don't know either, Lingweenie, I really don't, but it's pretty memorable when it does happen. It is easy to amalgamate the two (emotion and religion) or maybe it's hard to pick the two apart?

Thanks for reading and for your response.

B x

Since you ask for people's stories, here is mine, which I put up a couple of years ago.
Epiphanies obviously come in various ways;

How an atheist became a Christian

reply to post by DISRAELI


You're a beautiful writer, Disraeli. Trust in another, rather than standing on one's own two feet; that resonates with me, and is probably at the root of some of my core beliefs.
I really appreciate you sharing that on this thread and I have a lot of respect for someone who can make a commitment and stay with it.

Thanks, Disraeli x

reply to post by beansidhe


I too "feel" as though it's a What and not a Who. There is no need for a doctrine. Religion cannot describe it and words can to an extent but it's an expression that is to be felt by the spirit that is within.

reply to post by MamaJ


That's very eloquent MamaJ. I'm glad so many people have taken the time to respond, and share their own views. Thanks for understanding what I wrote, and letting me know I'm not alone in these thoughts!

B x

reply to post by beansidhe


Boiled down to the lowest common denominator, I define the goddess as love personified. My wife and I vary on our specifics of our religions but we both tell our daughter that "love" is "Goddess" (or "God"; it's up to her).

If all children grew up understanding that the only moral compass that is truly judged is "love", we would have a whole generation of Mother Theresa and Ghandi running around.

Your epiphany is beautiful and I hope you spread the message.

Next up on the agenda...Unconditional Love.

You know that word Katy is singing about? Not to mention singing all the syllables LOL

Yeah well it is a hard concept to understand for me, to love someone without boundaries, rules and regulations or the proverbial conditions. I think the only humans who come close is a mother and a child and a close second may be a father to child or a child to a parent. The rest of us struggle with letting go...

I believe God is not only love, but Unconditional Love something I have recently come to terms with. Spooky concept that I am barely able to grasp some days.

Good luck to you! And mohawks are hot!

God is the impulse that drives people to risk or even sacrifice their lives for complete strangers. How much more love for your fellow man (or woman) can you have than that. Heck, there are people who will do it for animals. To me this is just further proof that there must be a God. Why would anyone be willing to give themselves for a perfect stranger? It makes no rational, biological sense so there must be another impulse in ourselves that inspires it.

However, another epiphany, not as profound was one had by an atheist friend of ours. He simply came to the logical conclusion that there was so much about the universe that no one knows that it was simply insupportable to say that there is no God and that it can be proven. He said he realized that anyone who says so has to be making as big a statement of faith in that position as anyone who believes in a deity. So, he became an agnostic because he realized he simply just doesn't know anymore.