posted on Jan, 6 2014 @ 05:08 AM
I remember very clearly walking to hospital in Glasgow, to see my friend. It was my day off, and although it was early, the city was busy. This was
about 10 years ago now, maybe more, but I can remember it clearly because it was one of those rare moments in life when I was certain. I have never
been so clear or so certain about anything before or since that moment.
My friend must have been about 14 or 15 then. I had known her for about 6 years, as she was a client in the centre I worked at. She had severe
cerebral palsy, she was blind, had been diagnosed with a learning difficulty and suffered from epilepsy. Her family were from Pakistan, and so English
was not her first language, but despite the differences between us, somehow we had become good friends. We had the same sense of humour and we enjoyed
each other’s company.
I was worrying about her as I walked to hospital. She had been taken to an adult ward, for reasons I have forgotten. Her seizures had gradually become
worse, coming more often, closer together and more severe. Her prognosis, if I’m honest, was not great. I worried about her being in an adult ward,
I worried that she would be frightened, I worried that her epilepsy may have caused further brain damage, I worried that she might be in pain. All I
wanted was for her to be ok, because I loved her.
So there I was heading to hospital with a pink Mohican, a beat up biker’s jacket and a little bunch of pink roses, to see my friend. And then I saw
it. On a huge billboard, in the city centre someone had plastered a poster: God Is Love. I glanced at it, and probably rolled my eyes, and then it hit
God Is Love.
That thing, that feeling which I was feeling right at that moment, the feeling of love for another, of genuine, pure and selfless love was called God.
It could have another name, but it didn’t. For centuries people have tried to explain, and some have personified it, but right at that moment, I
understood. The feeling I felt was called God.
And so I guess that’s why I say I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in a person called God. But I believe in that feeing because I experienced it.
If you’ve got this far, thanks for reading. Maybe you would even be willing to share your story with me. I don’t know for sure if mine is the
right interpretation, but it feels right for me, at this moment. Thanks little friend, even though you never saw me, or spoke to me you taught me
Rest in Peace.