Oh my gosh, fate, really?! working opposite shifts.

LONG story short, I have not dated or kissed or anything since 2002 by my own choice. I'm female, gonna be 41 in March and I just got plumb out sick and tired of guys and their 'get in, get off and get lost' attitude. I chose to take a celibate life style and held to it since 2002. Totally held to it.

I finally met that special someone. He is definitely wonderful, is in to me for me, we have the world in common and we also work together. We bonded tightly over our christmas break and we're taking things slow but at a good pace which is comfy for both of us. We have total trust, full communication, we give to each other without expecting a thing in return, we always... oh it's just amazing.

He was working night shift with me (7:15pm but we'd get there around 6pm and leave anywhere from 5am and 9am). Friday he told me he had bad news and said he was going to go onto days. Days here start at 6am and get out at 4pm but he'd no doubt stay til 6pm.

It's a new ship - we're not even really 'official' yet (ie, he hasn't done the whole 'will you be my girl' thing or however it's done) but we may as well be. I dont want to go into every detail of what we've shared together but just trust when I say we may as well be official.

My concern is: we get to see each other on Sat morn when I get home until Sun night when he has to get to sleep. Won't see each other all week unless he comes to my home (he lives two doors down and we are less than 7 min drive from work) for his lunch at 10:30 am for 45 min.

Has anyone on here worked different/opposite shifts and if so, what do you do to keep the ship moving forward? I know absense makes the heart grow fonder and I've always been fine with him needing his 'me time' as I need it too. I think I'm just in the 'oh lordie, nooooo' frame of mind because we truly deeply bonded over xmas break and we're still in the 'it's new, fresh, exciting' aspect of it all. I know he's going to do what he can to see me even if it means staying over at work an extra hour or so but that cuts into his sleep time. Though he lives 2 doors down, he usually sleeps here a few nights a week(and no, when I said we're moving slow, I mean it; nothing extremely intimate has happened. For now we are super happy with just being close - holding hands is breathtaking; I love this stage of a new relationship as it forms) . He'll be sleeping here during the nights now and then while I'm at work. Hey, I can totally handle my pillows with his scent, okay?

Tips/tricks on how to keep the fires going would be SO appreciated. I'm kind of hoping he hates the day shift and comes back to the night. You just can't get a thing done during the day because everything is closed when you first wake up and when you get off work. Also he has been a night shift worker his entire life (he's 35) and just can't do morning time. Both our circadean rhythms are full nights. I pray so hard he'll come back in a week or two. besides, he's losing 75c an hour to go to days. If anything, dear readers, keep the fingers crossed for this to happen.

reply to post by sarra1833


I'm a guy I'm 28 years old, I haven't been on a date in a long long time. When I used to have a someone special I was in the USMC (which is what ultimately caused the breakup) anyways, before I got recalled back to active duty me and her used to be on opposites of everything work and college she was at school during the day worked nights I was at work days school at night and late afternoon. I used to do things like have one of my buddies going by her work drop her off little things like cards (love letter type things) with maybe a cupcake or just a can of soda or whatever and when we got time on the weekends we always tried to do some of the coolest stuff we could think of. Hockey games, museums, getting bone drunk on alcohol we never drank before, foreign films we couldnt understand. It was really just a lot of little things like that, she would come by in the morning when I was still asleep sometimes make me breakfast and coffee and leave a note and never wake me up or she would come over super early and come snuggle up on me, point is, at least for me it was the little things that kept us together until I ended up in the middle east for an extended period of time

reply to post by Brotherman


Now that is beyond sweet I dont know if we'll even be able to see each other in the midst of sleep/wake since the schedules overlap. I'll definitely start planning fun things to do on the weekends.

A wee note: im hoping I don't sound selfish here. I KNOW many people who can't see their loved ones a lot due to one being overseas (either long distance ships or military, etc) or other reasons. I'm just extremely new to dating again after so many years and was blessed and honored with the care and attentions of this man. I truly believe if we are going to last, this is one heck of a way to strengthen what we already have; which is strong, I'm happy to report.

reply to post by sarra1833


I hope it works out for you 2 little bits of time isn't always a bad thing either, that means there's no time to stress about everything else that don't matter

reply to post by Brotherman


Definitely. One thing he adores about me is that I don't 'cling' or 'nag'. When he takes time to do his own thing, I know he'll be around when he's wanting to. We have 100% trust in each other (heck, he both says and proves he hides zero from me. He even let me see his log in for his online banking D: not like I'd ever go in it but the gesture was like ... wow. THAT is massive trust right there).

I know work will suck without him there. Granted, we'd only see each other in passing, but his smile seeing me? THAT alone would get me through my nights and it'd get him through as well.

I have a strong feeling he'll be back to nights soon. My inner voice keeps saying to relax and be calm. It's never wronged me before. I kind of like the idea of seeing him on weekends though. Something exciting to look forward too. Maybe the weeknights will fly faster for it, hehe.

I'd say just hang in there

I've had the same partner for over ten years, such a perfect relationship we're like twins, never had a fight and yet our work schedules have never allowed us to live together. We get one 24 hour period together. every two weeks, if it works out.

Then we chose to build a house together, a huge five year commitment, still unfinished.

We share the same 24 hour caregiving job so when we switch off work, the other goes home to the kids. It's crazy. But I see it all as a work of art. And I also partied a lot in my younger years, so now is my time to commit to catching up

Love can do it.