posted on Dec, 27 2013 @ 10:42 PM
I don't know how long this is going to take me to type up and there is most likely going to be a lot of points where it seems like I am just thinking
as I type. I like to write this way.
Quick Bio:: I'm 18, pretending to go to college so my parents don't kick me out because I can't live up to their extreme expectation, and
still trying to find myself. I am a writer of all sorts, but I love rapping even though I hate rap. (I am one with the universe, I am a paradox.) I am
so deeply complex even I can probably never understand me. I went through bullying pretty much from 3rd grade until my freshman year in high school
when I jumped off a chair and hit a bully in the chin. Resorted to doing things I'm not proud of, no hard drugs or anything, but still.
Anyways, I'll save you guys the pity party. I've been on ATS for a few months now, and it's helped me learn so much. I always hated the
educational system because it seemed to be a mindless repetition of the same irrelevant information. I've always been a proponent of self-education,
that way you can learn what's relevant to you and excel at it and find yourself in a more efficient manner. I'm big into metaphysics and I've been
trying to astral project. I've only had one lucid dream. I flew and threw a fireball before waking up out of excitement. Oh, the immaturity.
My music reflects parts of me I already know about and want to deal with and/or heal, and it also seems to enlighten me to portions of my soul I
didn't know were that damaged, seemingly irreparable (though I know that isn't the case). It's the constant battle between the Yin-Yang, the Light
and Dark, Everything and Nothing, Lost and Found, you can go on forever. On the days they are balanced, I can write more complex songs and improve my
delivery tremendously, it's an amazing feeling. Although I can't make any original instrumentals, when searching for free beats, I try to find ones
that tingle my bones. I know it sounds strange, but I have the courage to type behind a screen, after all, I did just say I'm a rapper. I digress,
but it's like the song vibrates with me, I can feel it, but at the same time, it feels odd, like it feels what I'm feeling at the time. Also, I find
beats that fit to pre-written lyrics, as beat isn't my main concern so much as the written expression of my emotion.
I hope I can share my music on here even though it's not 100% original since the beats I use are allowed for free, promotional use only. My lyrics
are extremely deep. I try to write in specific generalizations, things that directly apply to me, but can still relate to many different people
feeling many different same things, even pulling it off using only one sentence. I like to hint at the government doing its dirty things, as well as
metaphysics, in almost every song. I'm also unfortunately bullying back all of my past bullies, something I don't want to do, but it finds its way
into my writing so I guess it's a part of me for now.
When I finally get enough money to make decent music, I want to be that musician that brings peace back into the world. I know it sounds hard, but
music is the most popular thing. Almost everybody experiences music. All it takes is one trend big enough to change the tides. I want to be able to
make people feel again, positive thoughts, I want people to wake up and realize changing the world starts with changing themselves.
Remember, a macrosystem cannot function without the microsystem.
I apologize, for that was not quick at all. If anyone has any questions for me, ask anything, I won't be shy on here. Please do, I need small talk.
"I like being alone, but not lonely.-Me"