Tell your kids about Santa, ATS Style!

page: 1
17
<<   2 >>

log in

join
+3 more 
posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 12:28 PM
link   
Q. How does Santa know what all the little boys and girls want for Christmas?

A. 1st, He has a mile by mile antenna array just below the snow in the north pole. The antenna consists of overlapping mesh wiring creating 1mm squares. This antenna is finely tuned to pick up brain wave signals from children but only on key words like, I want, I need, for Christmas. Its also used to know if you been good or bad. He also has his helpers in the malls dress like him and relay the message back to Santa at the north pole.

Q. How does Santa deliver Christmas gifts to all the kids in the world in one night?

A. This is easy, Santa has built a machine that wraps his sled into a “relativity bubble” as he calls it. Once its activated, an invisible bubble wraps around him and his reindeer. Once he’s in it, he goes to the children’s houses and delivers gifts. It takes him nearly 6 months to deliver all the packages inside his relativity bubble. But outside the bubble it all happens in one night!

Q. How does Santa make the reindeer fly?

A. Santa uses Anti-gravity technology on the sled. It’s part of the relativity bubble machine he uses. The reindeer are more of a traditional thing. Plus He really loves his reindeer. There like pet dogs you would take on a road trip.

Q. How does Santa fit all the children’s presents in his sled?

A. Santa has what we call Nano technology capabilities. He uses this technology to enter through the chimney to get in the house. Once in, he checks his list and coordinates his GPS unit with his antenna array to find out who’s house he’s in. He then pulls up the children’s wish list on his tablet and releases his Nano builders, NB. The NB's then crawl under the tree and scan the surroundings around the area. The NB’s then start to collect tinny bits of matter from all the surrounding inanimate objects and start to build the gifts under the tree. This process takes all night.

Q. Then what are the elf’s for?

A. The elf story was made up 100’s of years ago because people did not understand technology back then. They literally thought Santa had little people working for him around the clock. It’s really a silly notion. Plus it’s like slavery.
edit on 24-12-2013 by camaro68ss because: (no reason given)
edit on 24-12-2013 by camaro68ss because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 12:51 PM
link   
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


What do you know about the supposed information trading scandal between Santa and the NSA? I heard that Santa was putting ingestible RFID chips in all the candy he leaves in the Christmas stockings and in exchange the NSA hooks him up with the latest in sleigh and relativity/time warp technology.



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 12:55 PM
link   
Q: How do you know all this about Santa?

A: He came to me when I was 15 years old. If you're good, he may come to you too.

And then when they're 15 and ask about it, you tell them the truth.



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:05 PM
link   
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


In the spirit of ATS, this now needs to be;
Debunked
Called a false flag
Be featured on ATS Live
Be behind shape-shifting reptilians throwing Nirubu at the Earth
and
Be the cause of the next zombie apocalypse.
edit on 24-12-2013 by beezzer because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:07 PM
link   

beezzer
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


In the spirit of ATS, this now needs to be;
Debunked
Called a false flag
Be featured on ATS Live
and
Be the cause of the next zombie apocalypse.


Darn it Beez, you left out something about Niburu and shape shifting reptilians!
*Shakes head*



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:09 PM
link   
reply to post by beezzer
 


You forgot the old favorite Santa=Satan



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:11 PM
link   
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


Omg, so funny! I am off to enlighten the little ones now.



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:11 PM
link   
reply to post by beezzer
 


It's clearly a rock!

Or swamp gas?
edit on 24-12-2013 by KawRider9 because: cause I can't spell



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:13 PM
link   
reply to post by beezzer
 


In the spirit of ATS, Pics or it didn't happen.




posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:15 PM
link   
I don't understand why HAARP is at the north pole. You would think that the project ELF would have been up there, instead they had ELF in the UP....Well, I sort of look a little like Santa...I do have two young deer eating potatoes in the back yard right now.....I wonder if I am in training to be Santa. Someone has to have the job, I don't see Tim Allen doing it anymore, he has a new show.



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:22 PM
link   
I cry HOAX

If santa does indeed have this type of nano technology he should be arrested straight away, and tried for crimes against humanity.

For 100 of years he has had the ability to replicate any object he could solve the worlds problems overnight, he could feed the starving, repair all structures.

In 100's of years he has been using this tech to leave small wooden toys, oranges and lumps of coal in believing homes all over the planet. what a git.

I jest of course nice thread



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:24 PM
link   

SLAYER69
reply to post by beezzer
 


In the spirit of ATS, Pics or it didn't happen.



In the spirit of ATS, I have pictures and ill up load them as soon as Santa tells me i can.



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:24 PM
link   
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


Clearly SANTA sits in the Mother ship near an "Undefeated Sun" not to far off from EA*RTH w/ the cosmic elves listening to the brainwave transmissions received from all the transmitting inhabitants and sends a response signal to all receiving to share alike.

Some of these signals encounter interference from Grinch likes who just wanna be loved like the rest and so the elves on ground transmit from the North Hole to the above ground inhabitants the same broadcast with a Grinch embedded harmonic signal in order to spread the love...

WISHING EVERYONE A MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS






edit on 12/24/13 by Ophiuchus 13 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:28 PM
link   
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


EXIF(sp?) date is wrong. Nice try hoaxer!



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:37 PM
link   

KawRider9
reply to post by beezzer
 


It's clearly a rock!

Or swamp gas?
edit on 24-12-2013 by KawRider9 because: cause I can't spell


Weather balloon.



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:45 PM
link   
Santa?

Aliens!



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 01:48 PM
link   
reply to post by boncho
 





posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 02:03 PM
link   
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


G,day mate. Well done you started my day with a good belly laugh.
I will read this out to the family over lunch.
Have a safe Christmas mate.
Love the camero great car with a real engine. 8 pots/v8 not a four pot rice burner with a coke can on top.
= turbo four
edit on 24-12-2013 by pronto because: (no reason given)
edit on 24-12-2013 by pronto because: bugga i cant spell car better go have some breaklfast 0640hrs here.



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 02:16 PM
link   

littled16
reply to post by camaro68ss
 


What do you know about the supposed information trading scandal between Santa and the NSA? I heard that Santa was putting ingestible RFID chips in all the candy he leaves in the Christmas stockings and in exchange the NSA hooks him up with the latest in sleigh and relativity/time warp technology.


G,day mate. i figured those reprobates at NSA would have a hand in matters. Probably those drongo's er
dum smart people at pine gap out side Alice Springs in CENTRAL Australia help coordinate the info flow. lol
edit on 24-12-2013 by pronto because: Nuts i have done two replies this norning and stuffed up both. think i need a beer or 3



posted on Dec, 24 2013 @ 04:26 PM
link   
They just showed Santa and his reindeer on the news and explained his special transponder, and how it shows up on radar.


They also reassured everyone that the ice storms aren't a problem, he's used to the weather.

Then they showed him being escorted by fighter planes.
He's almost to North America.

The fighter jets are having a really hard time keeping up to Santa, his sled just goes too fast.
He has much better technology...and then there's reindeer magic...





new topics
top topics
 
17
<<   2 >>

log in

join