Does forgiveness mean forgetfulness?

I have had an issue with this recently and would like this forums feedback. God instructs us to forgive. I understand that. To me that's letting go of the hatred or anger towards an individual for a transgression against me. When my grandfather used to pray at the dinner table he always said "please forgive us our transgressions as we work to forgive those that transgress against us".

So that's how I see it. However, I do not believe we should ever forget someone has done something bad to us that is a sin. I feel this would be stupidity something I also believe Psalms clearly preaches against. There are many references in the Bible about bad people and so forth so I don't need to quote exact phrases any religious person here knows what I am getting at. I don't think it would be wise to let someone to continue to commit sin against me.

In all things I believe the Bible to instruct us to be wise people. So what is your take on forgiveness? Do you believe in forgive and forget or do you believe in forgive but be vigilant?

reply to post by Pimpintology


I do forgive people, but never forget. (I'm like an elephant that way, just not in size.)
I'm a firm believer of the saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

I do give second chances, but only when my gut instinct tells me it's going to be alright.

reply to post by Pimpintology


What's the point of forgiving if you're not forgetting? That's like eating without taking a crap.

AfterInfinity
reply to post by Pimpintology

 

What's the point of forgiving if you're not forgetting?

Self protection, I may forgive your trespass and theft, but I won't be giving you my spare house keys any time soon...

(And I don't mean you specifically, of course...)

Yeah I think forgiving is good but you should not forget. I mean if you forget about the person wrong doing. how wil they learn more improtantly how will you learn. How will you learn to not make the same mistake with person you made. Everyone has a track record.

reply to post by Pimpintology


Not true, if someone has angered you, you start to see a very one sided version of events. I find it help to stop, take a step back, take a deep breath and relax. Sometimes it is worth looking at yourself and once you see what you may have done to anger this person, be the bigger person and apologise, you will find that you will get an apology back, no one looses by apologising, the only way you loose is if you both stay angry and fall out.

Soon after you will see that what ever happened was silly and you'll appreciate that it's over.

Elton

AfterInfinity
reply to post by Pimpintology

 

What's the point of forgiving if you're not forgetting?

Self protection, I may forgive your trespass and theft, but I won't be giving you my spare house keys any time soon...

(And I don't mean you specifically, of course...)

What do you need self protection for? You have Jesus. His will be done and all that jazz...

AfterInfinity

What do you need self protection for? You have Jesus. His will be done and all that jazz...

edit on 23-12-2013 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

And just where do you think I am keeping Jesus? Because I am trying to keep it a secret...

I think that choosing to not learn the lessons that life is throwing my way would be... willful ignorance (regardless of my current spiritual beliefs).

Elton

AfterInfinity

What do you need self protection for? You have Jesus. His will be done and all that jazz...

edit on 23-12-2013 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

And just where do you think I am keeping Jesus? Because I am trying to keep it a secret...

I think that choosing to not learn the lessons that life is throwing my way would be... willful ignorance (regardless of my current spiritual beliefs).

Agreed. Of course, there's taking lessons and applying them. Two different things which can lead to very different outcomes and outlooks in general.

Elton


Self protection, I may forgive your trespass and theft, but I won't be giving you my spare house keys any time soon...

This is what my tired brain was trying to get across. (It' s getting really late in my neck of the woods.)
I agree with you 100%.

I will forgive someone who has done me wrong, but be more cautious about them.

And yes, I also use common sense, and try to use my noggin.

Another saying I like: "God helps those, who help themselves. "

Which for me , in my opinion means, that yes, I forgive people, but at the same time won't let people run over me, or use me, or hurt me if I can help it.

Just my humble two cents.

I don't think forgiveness equals forgetting personally. If someone does something bad to you and they apologize for it, I don't think it's very wise to completely forget what they did, but it is wise to forgive them.It's okay to forgive but still stay cautious and on your guard with that person. How do you expect to be forgiven if you do not forgive others yourself?

Matthew 6
14 For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

It's simple if you think about it this way. Forgiveness is in the heart. It says, "What you did was wrong, but I refuse to hold it against you." It's so liberating! In contrast, forgetfulness is in the head. There's nothing wrong with choosing not to put your hand on the hot stove again.

reply to post by Pimpintology


Forgiveness without change from the person who have done the transgressions is from my point of view foolish. But judging them harshly on earth when I do not have the whole story on all level is also equally foolish. It all depends if the person have learned something from what the person have done.

I like karma and I do believe an instant karma situation on earth would have evolved humans very differently since who wanna hurt another if you get the same hurt yourself from your actions. This latency between what you do and what you reap that exists on earth do not foster the best behaviour. But then this is a testing area where you make a choice and after a while get a twist depending on what you did.

Even Hitler would be an ok guy once he has fixed all he has broken and learned how to be nice to everybody.

reply to post by Pimpintology


I have always thought that it is good to forgive...though at times it has taken me some time to do so.

But when some one wrongs me or mine...I will never forget. As far as I'm concerned, They've burned their bridges.

TDawgRex
reply to post by Pimpintology

 

I have always thought that it is good to forgive...though at times it has taken me some time to do so.

This is another question I ponder but think God has answered for me. Myself I do not believe in death bed salvation. Say someone is dying within the next few hours so they choose that moment to repent. The Bible teaches us that God grieves over our sins. I believe the human counterpart of that is called godly sorrow. Something I myself have experienced.

I do not believe you can just go out and sin and say OK I'm sorry forgive me and be forgiven. You really have to make an effort not to repeat that sin. The person I had this whole dilemma with did something wrong then expected forgiveness immediately with no consequence. I believe this person might be a sociopath that uses the Bible as a shield or tool just to get what they want.

This person has stated to me that when we ask for forgiveness that we immediately get it because that's what Jesus does. I do not believe this way. I believe we really must repent, so I have always taken time to forgive someone. I will though but I will be cautious of them in the future and not let them run over me again. I am mad at first but I set out to forgive them. Knowing that anger will dissipate once I reach forgiveness and it frees me as well as the other person.

I know in my heart I will forgive them because that's what God wants and I do what he asks of me. I just know it takes some time to get to that point. Does that make sense?

Anyhow thank you all so much for responding. I unlike others do not come here to bait or troll I am a sincere poster when it comes to religion.

The best way to describe the Christian concept of forgiveness is this "I forgive you, you owe me nothing, I am not going demand a recompense from you". This does not mean that no body else will demand a recompense, if someone has broken the law, the arm of the law (should) punish them and/or demand that some form of compensation be given. If God is going to judge you for the things you do, then doesn't it make sense that He is going to judge the person that has wronged you? So the Christian concept of forgiveness is to let go of any feeling that that person owes you something - that way they cant hurt you anymore, they cant live rent free in your head. To forget does not mean to forget they did it, but to move on. Like someone said above, you can forgive a thief but it does not mean you are going to trust them with your keys anytime soon.

The second chance is a different issue, if the person comes to you and asks for forgiveness and a second chance, it is up to you to whether you will give them a second chance, based on whether you think they will do it again. Jesus also said that the only grounds for divorce is if one member of the marriage is unfaithful. So the wronged member can forgive but not forget.

reply to post by Pimpintology


yes forgive and forget. Living in the past is not healthy at all. Either is living in the future. And the past doesn't equal the future.

Well it boils down to this. When it is time for your judgement you are going to be forgiven with the measure you used in life. So if you you are "forgiving" and not forgetting which is not forgiving.

You will find yourself unforgiven in the after life. The second point is you should be exercising the same level of forgetfulness you expect to be applied to you and your transgressions. No one wants to be forgiven and then beaten over the head with it again at some point in the future. Because ultimately that is not forgiveness it is torture and damaging.

The final point, what you think you have found in Psalms to justify your hardheartedness is pointless because when the question was posed to Jesus on how many times one should forgive. His answer was a painfully high number indicating that there should be no limit to how far or how much you are willing to forgive.

Cinrad
Jesus also said that the only grounds for divorce is if one member of the marriage is unfaithful. So the wronged member can forgive but not forget.

No this is not what he said. It is frequently interpreted that way, but is in fact not correct. What he said was that the only grounds for divorce was if it was an unlawful relationship i.e. incestual as God could not and would not turn two into one. Otherwise your marriage would not be a reflection of Christs love for the Church. You do not get a choice on second chances, it is part and parcel of the obligation when forgiving. This is one of the reasons Christianity is not an easy path to follow.

Pimpintology

TDawgRex
reply to post by Pimpintology

 

I have always thought that it is good to forgive...though at times it has taken me some time to do so.

This is another question I ponder but think God has answered for me. Myself I do not believe in death bed salvation. Say someone is dying within the next few hours so they choose that moment to repent. The Bible teaches us that God grieves over our sins. I believe the human counterpart of that is called godly sorrow. Something I myself have experienced.

edit on 23-12-2013 by Pimpintology because: he is tired and going to bed.

So then you are saying Jesus just flat out lied to the guy on the cross next to him then? He granted him forgiveness and a place in heaven on what amounts to his death bed.