I'm coming out today.....

reply to post by olaru12


I understand your point on this. But, in a community of "hidden faces" I feel it is better to scream it here if you need to. The religious zealots may come out in full force, but you wouldn't ever know if you ran into them in the grocery store.

It is much easier to log out of ATS and walk away, than it is to log out of real life. And I will defend anyone in this thread to the best of my ability be it gay, straight, or love purple and green polka dot people. It is their right.

Well be loud and be proud hunty! stomp the pavement and own the real-estate!

i mentioned this in another topic, do i believe i "Have" to come out as Gay? no, but society has made it that way as of now.

people assume you are straight before they assume you are Gay, when you are born it is the assumption that you are straight, until you "come out" as Gay. and it's something family and friends should know about you, it doesn't have to be a "secret" it's about being proud of who you are no matter Gay, Straight, Bisexual, or Transgendered

reply to post by Darth_Prime


Exactly Darth! Why do we make it such a big deal? Why do people have to even tell anyone who they prefer to be with? And why is it so gasp worthy anyway? Can't people just be happy to have found love?

*stomps the ground and owns the real estate baby*

Doodle19815
I am MAD that my very close friends and family have had to carry this burden on their shoulders for YEARS. This secret eating away at them. They are unable to be their true self in the presence of loved ones for fear of rejection.

So who felt the the need to be accepted by loved ones? Your friend and or family?

If it was your friend I feel sorry for them in that his / her family didn't do everything in their power to make your friend feel no shame in who they are.

If it's both, well then they must have strange family and or friends.....

reply to post by Doodle19815


You have such a sweet and genuine heart. I just ♥ you!

I see the situation as you do. It pains me really.

I feel so sorry for anyone who feels demeaned for accepting and loving them self.

I believe people have a right to their opinion and to express said opinion, but I also believe there is a time and a place for an "outspoken" opinion.

If one of my kids "came out" I would be their biggest supporter. I would be sad because I know the pain and struggle they will go through but I would love and support them, for sure. I think I would KNOW way before they told me though.

Maybe it is because I grew up with a lesbian. We knew she was gay before she would ever admit it. We showed her, even at the age of ten that we loved her no matter what. I was uncomfortable sometimes because I was afraid she was in love with my cousin. lol My cousin was the one she confided in years later and truth was, she was in love with my cousin. My gut instincts were right. All of them, I believe. To want to support my friend at such a young age and know she was "different" makes me proud of myself because I do not want to be any other way.

I have raised my kids to love others as they want others to love them. It's the way it should be. There is no black or white here.

It's hatred and damning others is a reason why I do not align myself with Christianity anymore even though I am a Jesus freak and relate to the Word in my own way. I just cannot align myself with anyone who doesn't have a heart of gold. It brings my spirit down and that I cannot handle, literally, cannot handle it.

I say ... Be who God made you to be and do not worry about the people of this world, for you are loved!

reply to post by eNaR


Both friends and family have "come out". And yes, I agree that it wasn't fair to them to have to hide their true self. One was literally hiding it for 20 years! 20 years of anguish at family get togethers.

Is my family perfect? Absolutely not. We had never had a "gay person" in our family, (or at least not openly). My Grandmother is very religious and has chose to ignore "the problem". The rest of us are happy to embrace him and love him. It is sad that we as a family made him feel as though he couldn't bring a partner along to reunions or for a visit.

reply to post by Doodle19815


Cool, big deal now you're out!
About your avatar, is that your doggie?
Damn good looking dog, too bad all humans didn't treat each other as dogs do.
In the end, in or out of the closet, your dog doesn't care.
Your dogs loves you black or white, gay or straight, crippled or able bodied.
And really, who needs more than that?

Darth_Prime
Well be loud and be proud hunty! stomp the pavement and own the real-estate!

i mentioned this in another topic, do i believe i "Have" to come out as Gay? no, but society has made it that way as of now.

people assume you are straight before they assume you are Gay, when you are born it is the assumption that you are straight, until you "come out" as Gay. and it's something family and friends should know about you, it doesn't have to be a "secret" it's about being proud of who you are no matter Gay, Straight, Bisexual, or Transgendered

I believe everything happens for a reason. I think our maker "tests" the heart with different His- Stories so to speak.

Years ago we knew who the blacks were when they were born. We shunned them, tortured them, owned them, etc....

In today's world we do not know who some of the "different" ones are. There are so many labels today. They know the world doesn't know "the secret" and they live in fear of not being accepted. Our society shows they have a reason to be. Thus, coming out is a way of showing the world you are not scared anymore. It doesn't stop our society from treating them like animals though.

With the Phil issue, what really got me was the sermon he preached about morality back in 2010. It gave me the creeps and I felt like I was listening to a wicked hearted person that felt as though he was a saint. Even weirder is that I think there are many people/Christians who would have listened to this sermon and agreed with him.

reply to post by MamaJ


As always Mama, you and I see eye to eye. I love you to!

I can only hope that if we teach our children acceptance and love, that they will stand proud in their beliefs. May future generations find love in ALL of humanity. Not just the ones that are socially acceptable.

reply to post by g146541

Your dogs loves you black or white, gay or straight, crippled or able bodied.
And really, who needs more than that?

They know how to love don't they... unconditionally.

Great point and well said!

reply to post by g146541


That is my Tonka (the dog).

You said it very well, unconditional love! Thank you very much for those thoughts!

reply to post by Doodle19815


Yes we do! You are right.. and... that's all we can do. Raise our kids without hate. Show them the good in people and how we are all "different" in our ways and lifestyle. We have been made different for a reason. Tolerance and acceptance is how we show love. We don't have to agree and we don't have to mimic. If something is not hurting you or the ones you love then it's ok to be different. It's what brings peace within and abroad. Love and acceptance.

This "sorry you cannot get to heaven, only people like me can go" is about as egotistical and ignorant thinking as I can think of. lol For this reason "coming out" is harder and more painful and delayed.

reply to post by MamaJ


Yaaas gurl!

there are a few who know about my Story here, as tragic as it is, full of abuse. if any bright light has come from it, it has made me a fighter for equality, and tolerance, and acceptance, and the end to hatefulness... to everyone and every sexuality even if they hate me for my sexuality

Quite simply, as long as ignorant people have religion to support their bias against homosexuality, then gay people are always going to have an issue with coming out.

Straight people have no need to declare their sexuality because it is the accepted norm in society and it always will be. Gay people just want and need our sexuality to be accepted as a variation of that norm.

For those who think by so it will open a Pandoras box, I say this. As a gay person I don't support pedophilia, bestiality, polygamy or any other variation of sex and sexuality that does not involve anything more than two consciously consenting adults.

i must admit after all theese years of watching heavy metal(the movie) and listening to dio that i am straight(there are other things i do that might shock some people that make me straight but for manners sake let's just say i like big butts and cannot lie)

reply to post by Doodle19815


I commend you on your bravery for revealing this burden of a secret. I've often felt why should unhappy marriages, divorce, adultery only be burdened by straight folk, now I feel better that there are others going through the same pain, and I accept that.

I don't think everyone read the full OP, Doodle ! I get the impression some of them think you're bringing a rainbow!

I confuse people, I think. In real life. On more than one occasion it has been questioned whether I am gay or not, in casual conversation, not in an inquisitive way. I'm not. but it makes me think.

All of my life people have assumed things about me. All of my life I have had to defend myself to ignorant idiots. All of my life, for various reasons, I've had to fight just to be who I am.

At first it was a lot easier to just ignore ignorance and embrace the misconceptions... easier to be the big ugly drunk bastard who'd rather steal your hand bag than help you across the road. Or punch your face as you wind up your window as I walk by, or push you off a moving bus. It solidified the armour I've had to wear over many years... and caused me to withdraw entirely for a long long time from what people took for granted.

I just thought less of the world... no matter how much I put forward who I was, people would only see what they want to see, who they expected to see and nothing else would make any difference.

No one gave a stuff if there was someone else inside, their ignorance was set and they were content with it.

And it's no different today. I get on public transport and people stare as I wander past in case I might sit next to them. People only see the 'criminal' scumbag or the obviously homeless bum... Nothing I can do to change that, almost half a century of wearing the armour to keep those losers at bay, has become welded to my soul.

People online may never understand that, but even then I had mechanisms in place to make sure no one ever got too close, it's easier to see the facade and play that role, than put up with the crap that the world incessantly has shown me.

But now I don't really care any more. I've moved my thinking. I see myself as who I am, I don't care who sees what. And that is why I cannot tolerate AT ALL the ignorance and bigotry I see in this world displayed so openly towards others.

It bloody makes me fume when I see ignorant tossers espousing hate and backward thinking under the guise of free speech, when there are people out there suffering greatly because of it. People who, unlike me, do not have the luxury of putting on armour and playing the part the world forces them to play. Or who refuse to do so. I had the means to live that... I am not a small guy, so if someone expected a rough git, they got a rough git.

I see so many innocent people suffering in this world due to religion. Due to backward thinking that these losers smile in ignorance as they attack people they do not even know.. accusing them of being 'sinners' and being the same as people who engage in bestiality.

I see that being ACCEPTED.. and NOT ANY MORE. I will not be part of it. I unfriended a bunch of idiots on facebook just recently who could not stop praising this duck dynasty bull#, who go so far as to call that idiot someone they'd vote for president.

I don't even want to be associated with losers like that. Who'd rather live in a world full of hate and discrimination based on sheer ignorance.

Makes my blood boil. In 2013/14 we still have people who think that when they die a big guy in the sky will say "Oh hai guis, you said funny things about the homos. good work, come in, got a special seat for ya!"...

If it's not attacks on gay people, then it is many other things that get my ire. But rarely do I see such a concerted effort to accept the ignorance, to justify it, to state it is a right, to claim it as something good and anyone who disagrees is a lower life form.

So.. I've had a number of posts removed over this topic. it creates fire in my skin.

Because while I may never suffer the discrimination that they do, I have suffered it over the years, from the very same sort of people I see attacking people now. I've had my fair share of ignorance based hate and being me, I had no recourse but to disappear.

I won't stand by and watch that happen in this day and age, to people who have done nothing but live differently to some of those morally bankrupt religious folk..

gah /rant.

reply to post by winofiend


I can sooo relate, in and out of Drag, the comments people make, people pulling their children just a little closer, the misconceptions and stereotypes.

the laughing, giggling pointing.. and i'm talking in and out of drag, and i'm talking in Hollywood...

Doodle19815
reply to post by ChuckNasty

 

I probably should refrain from falling into this trap, but see the comment in the OP ahead of the

Ohhh kk.

I still meet people from HS who are amazed that I am married..to a female. They are always shocked..

I just know I'm not gay...

Doodle19815
reply to post by Asktheanimals

 

I couldn't agree more with what you have said here! I know a person who is gay, but will NEVER tell his parents. He loves them and doesn't want to hurt them. Who eases his suffering though? It is sad to think his parents will never truly get to know the real him.

I have a friend in the same situation. All of his friends and one of his brothers know he's gay but he said he'd never tell his parents.
I completely understand why he won't, obviously it's a very daunting prospect, but I have told him before, and will tell him again whenever he asks me:

We all love you. Your brother loves you. Stop hiding who you are, and let your parents love you.