a reply to: scrog77
I needed something halfway important like HELL ITSELF squirting
through the Earth's tectonic cracks to get my mind off trivialities
like the country visibly falling apart and going nuts this week in
the news. That'll work, and this thread will help plenty thanks scrog!!
Wow I can't hook that date up with anything except, maybe...
like Bill Engvall and Jerry Van Dyke suddenly standing on the sofa at
the same time on the Tonight Show at that night of their mutual birthday....
and in unison
reciting the last 66 words of Jaques De Molay's (the last Grandmaster
of the Templars) curse toward the Pope and King Philip backwards --
holding hands facing each other in a poured out cup of Fallon's coffee.
Bad for the cushions, but worse if you drink that stuff. I mean look at him.
Jerry will afterward seem to reprise a line from his older brother's TV
sitcom with "NOBODY knows how I feel!!!".. except hell be right
because 6.66 inch long curved horns will immediately grow out of his
head being possessed by the Prince of Darkness himself, whip it out
and relieve his bladder on a nearby power cord going to a 480 volt
Norelco big boy color camera. Hey I'm just the messenger. Back off.
This will cause an immediate short circuit and Jerry is long gone---but
Satan will be cool about this pandemonium in the studio, since the only
two people in the studio so far who haven't shat themselves are the
cameraman and BIll: whom after quietly stepping off the sofa while the
sparks and crap were still flying, walks up to the lens and #2 still hot
saying a little slower'n normal... "Here's yer sign. "
The short circuit began a cascade effect that all the previous scenarios
of the Eastern Seaboard electrical grid falling over only were a preview.
A lopsided recurrent load wave probably three times overkill humps quickly
through the continental United States in less than a minute and a half,
popping the corks on every outdated, dangerously undercooled reactor
between Long Island and the Mississippi backwaters.
The breeders immediately blow less than two and a half minutes behind,
more this time like a case of warm Korbel-- the good dry stuff eh.
The tectonic plates all take the cue from this incalculably huge magma
ooze betwixt them, and start rotating in differing directions of contact
of course relieving themselves kinetically as had Jerry Van Bladder-Emptyage.
The hot greasy spue is saturated with copious varieties of ungodly creatures
hoppin' around partying in the relative chill out, and take turns calling
political action committees for donations. After 27 months (9x3, heavy
business) of intense campaigning on the "WTF It CAN'T Get Any Worse"
ticket--- the whole District of Criminals is totally repopulated by the
professionals who REALLY know how to make your life HELL.
After a voice vote Jerry VanBeellzeBabyBrotherBubba gets acclaimed President.
By the end of summer '16 he naturally grew cloven hooves and hair on it: so the
ladies didn't get freaked out from the campaign ads... and the men go into shock
from beholding one Born in the USA
You ATSers are way too sophisticated for me, I'm not kidding.
I am not Dennis Miller, nor am I on of his writers, a Templar or anything else
secret: but I still approve of this date. It's how we roll on lazy Sundays...
and I am also unfortunately, usually wrong. The date is in every likelihood
a placeholder for a non-event--- but you have to admit mine is interesting.
edit on 22-6-2014 by derfreebie because: No goat was given a depilatory or otherwise tortured for this post