Can someone put this into perspective for me?

reply to post by newsoul


The question you need to ask yourself is what were you really angry at?

You seem like a hard-working intelligent person yet you gave no thought as to why this woman had an EBT card? Yes it could be fraud, that's true. She could also have a severely disabled adult or child in her care, she could be living with a intermittent mental illness that is not obvious to you standing in the line, she could be a foster carer who has to make the lives of the children she fosters brighter as they pass through on their journey... there a million good reasons for her to be in the situation she is in but you chose to assume the worst and get angry.

Maybe you are justified, maybe you are not, reason will tell you that you cannot possibly know from that brief encounter. The real question is why you ignored the positive aspects and picked on the negative?

What are you really angry at?

Answer that and you will be on your own way to happiness.

reply to post by HanoiLullaby


I guess I am the one that can't stand by and admit I prejudged, you give good reasons why not to judge but let me ask you this, have you ever been on Welfare? I was when I was growing up in the 60-70, I knew the hardships my mother went through to prove that she needed to be on it with 5 kids and no one else around to help out. So people that are preaching that we are prejudging others out of anger or some other form of emotion is outrageous.

I can not think of one person that I have seen or known that is that good hearted to make candy to give away or to make money, people in today society are more about themselves than they are in caring about others, point being there are to many people abusing the system and making legitimate people that need the help suffer the consequences of those that abuse the system. There are no checks and balances when it come to Welfare like there was back when I was growing up, I can recall going with my mother to prove to the system that she had 5 kids.

I don't ever recall my mother making candy for gifts or to sell, she barley had enough to put that god awful hamburger helper on the table. So do we have a right to prejudge, yes, since there are so many people out there that abuse the system that don't need to be on it, while others need it. I guess I would not of prejudge this person if they drove up in and old POS car, and paid just for the basic items to make the candy, but getting all the extras really bothers me, all the extras for me in the day was to have jelly to go with the bread.

Oh, yes, the conundrum of the unfair monetary placement.

I have no idea, but some sort of fraud should be considered.

TheWrightWing
Making oneself dependent on the government is rewarded,

Have you ever been dependent on the government?

Did you get rewarded?

If not, then that's just pure crap. a bit like when people idolise homelessness without ever having been homeless. Such a glamorous lifestyle. Till you stink of urine and faeces and need $1.50 to operate the public showers.

Living below the poverty line for most is miserable. But it's easy to denigrate those who you don't know anything about because dole bludgers dont do nuffin but sit on the couch and get wasted all day, rite.

reply to post by AccessDenied


It reminds me of the time someone complained that an obvious pov was wearing nice clothes.

How dare someone unemployed wear nice clothes.

As if they want a job or something.. while they have to spend all their time and effort working to buy nice things.

Outrageous. Poor people should eat twigs and stuff sand in their pockets.

Only then, will my hard earned cash feel better when it's all spent.

newsoul
reply to post by AccessDenied

 

Actually you are assuming that all of the extras in her cart were for making candy. She had lots of items that the EBT didn't cover, including make-up and clothing and several DVD's. You may be correct that this is a one time thing. You may also be looking at the world through rose colored glasses.

Buying things at christmas.

the audacity of these unemployed people. Did you call the local welfare agency and report this deviant?

You never know, she's probably a crack whore too and needs to be sent to prison.

Let's pretend for a moment this was a case of fraud (which I am not crying foul)

But let's pretend it was

So this woman defrauds the government welfare system. While that is a terrible thing to do, my real fear is that people see a case like this and want to apply it to everyone on welfare. I personally have never been on the system and highly doubt I ever will. My wife and I make our pennies stretch and so be it. Sometimes we do enjoy some extra things.

I just can't imagine how many thousands or tens of thousands or whatever the number is there are who use welfare properly for every single one who doesn't. To me it's like the police thing. We see these bad stories about police abuse. But how many people love to swiftly and judgmentally paint every single cop poorly because of that one cop's actions.

I am not specifically saying anyone here, but likewise how many people swiftly and judgmentally paint every welfare recipient as fraudsters or just plain bad people because of stories like this

That is where I get worried

Was this specific woman into fraud? I don't know I am not her but how many others are dying homeless or in poverty that would love to have a job and a living but can't because of our broken economy?

reply to post by Hushabye


It is 5 in the morning and I have to get my kids off to school and then go to work, but your comment really ticked me off, so I will quickly respond.

You said I need to mind my own business. It is my business if some of the money coming out of my check is being used in anyway to fund welfare. The people that work fund the EBT program. SO it is OUR business that bought her groceries. If someone came up to you and asked you for $20, you would probably want to know what they needed it for and when they were going to pay you back. According to your logic, that is none of your business.

I believe your thread title states that you were seeking perspective. However, it seems more that you are seeking justification for your own judgement and anger. You stated yourself that the more you thought about it, the angrier you became. You obviously only focused on the fact that somebody on government aid was able to purchase things you were not. Did you even try to figure out the how or why, or any possible scenarios that could cast a light of honesty on this person? I may see the world through rose colored glasses at times, but it beats seeing everyone through the green shade of envy.
I do believe people to mostly be honest unless proven otherwise. Nothing in your OP eluded to me that this woman was guilty of anything except buying gifts. How she happen to come by an extra $300, or $3000, is none of mine nor anyone's concern. We all spend money at this time of year on extra things, even those who depend on welfare.
It appears after reading your other posts in this thread, that you have an issue with the system in general and are targeting this woman as scapegoat. If that is the case, your anger imho is misplaced.

reply to post by AccessDenied


You are correct. I am angry. I angry that I was diagnosed with breast cancer and lost my job, almost lost my house, and became delinquent on almost every bill I have. I am angry because even though I have 3 children, the system decided that my husband made too much money to help us. I have worked my entire adult life (except for the time I spent in college). I have paid into the welfare system for 20 years and it doesn't matter. So we did the best that we could do, I got a new job after a year off. We are still trying to catch up and it has been a year and a half. So yeah, I am upset that she gets to buy extras after using her government benefits. If you can afford the extras, regardless of how you got the money to buy them, why do you need government assistance?

Beezer gave me some excellent advice. He is a wise rabbit. I can't thank him enough for his kind words.

reply to post by newsoul


And beezzer, the old (dunno about wise) rabbit is still keeping an eye on this thread.

Don't let detractors pull you away from your goals, your ethical sense, your values.

You obviously have a family that loves you a great deal. That's more valuable than gold in this day and age. A wee comment? Don't suffer fools, but remember who hugs and holds you at night.

Everyone else. . . *meh*

Back in 1982 I was a young married kid. I was in line just as you said you were. The same thing happened but the woman was paying for a whole bunch of alcohol with cash and the food with the old food stamps. I'm standing there watching this knowing I have about $50 to spend for about ten days worth of groceries. The more I stood there watching this the more my blood began to boil. Long story short, I absolutley lost it and went postal on the woman and the manager of the store. When they finnaly got me to leave the store, I walked out just in time to watch that bitch get into a damn Cadillac. That is why to this day Food Lion stores dont want my business. Speak up next time and say what you feel, it want do any good, but you'll damn sure fell better about it.

reply to post by newsoul


Now that puts it into perspective for me,and your frustration is entirely justified. Things change when you see the story behind the story. Beezer is right. More than anything ,you need a hug.

winofiend

TheWrightWing
Making oneself dependent on the government is rewarded,

Have you ever been dependent on the government?
Did you get rewarded?

Absolutely, I fled the plantation as early as I could, I am a runaway.

People I grew up with, are still there, comfortable in their poverty, their potential wasted for the benefit of the party who receives votes for ever more "comfort".

I am now a very successful adult, (because I did build that.) my peers from the pj's now have children who are repeating the very same pattern, and are now also in the system.

Perpetual poverty, in fact, there is More poverty now than when the alleged "War On Poverty" was begun.

We've spent Trillions on that "war" only to not only perpetuate poverty, but create more than ever.

Is this "Progress"?

Only if you benefit from creating more poor and dependent. That's a plantation that encompasses the entire country.

reply to post by 19KTankCommander


I understand what you are saying. Believe me, I came from a home where I used to sit and watch my father eat meat then fight for the bone afterwards because me and my siblings never ate meat as it was too expensive. I know what it's like to be poor in a big family.

I do not once remember begrudging someone else's fortune. I turned my misfortune into a drive to succeed, I took life by the scruff of the neck and worked hard, put myself through University, and now, twenty years later, am a very well paid and successful professional.

I still don't begrudge other's fortunes. You cannot change other people's fortunes but you can change yours. Put that energy to better use.