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I survived (poem)

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posted on Dec, 15 2013 @ 09:51 AM
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I Survived

I was nervous when you showed up that night,
Something inside me said it just wasn't right.
After so many weeks of you following me,
I knew this was how the ending would be.

My heart was pounding inside my chest,
My body shook from the emotional stress.
There were no options that I could see,
To keep you from physically harming me.

I told you I didn't want to talk anymore,
While I judged the distance from me to the door.
You said there was nothing more I could say,
And you were sorry it had to be this way.

I saw my chance and tried to get out,
You grabbed my arm and turned me about.
The first blow sent me down to the floor,
And then you proceeded to hit me some more.

The attack went on for more than an hour,
Hitting and kicking with all your power.
It wasn't until you went for your knife,
That I knew you wanted to take my life.

The one fatal error you made that day,
You left me for dead and then walked away.
But I wasn't ready to give up the fight,
And I survived through the rest of the night.

So now it's you who wait for death,
Cherishing each and every breath.
All your appeals have come and gone,
And your locked up where you belong.

I hope you know what you put me through,
I still have nightmares about you.
And even though you'll soon be dead,
You'll always live inside my head.

Thanks,
Blend57




posted on Dec, 15 2013 @ 09:59 AM
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reply to post by blend57
 


Beautiful and deep and words sometimes fail me.

I can feel the emotion behind this one blend. And I say very good job with two thumbs up and a standing ovation.
Thanks for sharing this and continue writing..you are well versed indeed my friend

Peace and so much love to you friend ~~~>>>>
-nat



posted on Dec, 15 2013 @ 10:02 AM
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Eerie but beautiful, S+F.

Not sure if this is your poem or someone else's, I may also sound like a giant turd for saying this but my girlfriend (who is a musician) always appreciates my input into her lyrics and asks me opinions on certain bits of her music (as one of her fans she likes the second opinion) so please don't think I'm a douche bag but I think it would read better if you put "That I knew you wanted my life" rather than "wanted to take my life" I think it flows a bit better. I only mean this to be constructive, I think it's beautiful either way!

edit on 15-12-2013 by iRoyalty because: To be "that" guy



posted on Dec, 15 2013 @ 10:13 AM
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reply to post by natalia
 


Thanks so much Nat, always happy to see you like my work. Wanting to see some more of yours


Thanks for letting me know you liked it.
Blend57



posted on Dec, 15 2013 @ 10:19 AM
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reply to post by iRoyalty
 


No worries! I appreciate the input. I am not a professional, and I just recently started writing poetry, so I am happy to have some constructive criticism

It only makes me a better writer.

Thanks for the input. I will try it out and see how it sounds.


Thanks,
Blend57



posted on Dec, 15 2013 @ 10:27 AM
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reply to post by blend57
 


That's was an emotional piece of writing for sure. But what an amazingly great poem!. I don't know what else to say other than well done, And peace to you



posted on Dec, 15 2013 @ 10:40 AM
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reply to post by TheDoctor46
 


It was an emotional roller coaster to write as well. Really hard to portray feeling with so many words.
And then trying to make them rhyme! lol.

Thanks so much for commenting on this. I truly appreciate it.

Thanks,
Blend57



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