posted on Dec, 14 2013 @ 10:02 AM
reply to post by Realtruth
LOVE is about the welfare, benefit, enhancement, support, nurturance, . . . of the beloved.
Else it doesn't really qualify as LOVE but more as a business transaction.
I've been involved in co-dependent relationships the first 30 or so years of my life. That's not LOVE. That's manipulation, addiction, business
transaction etc. However, one can learn some aspects of love in such relationships, if one is paying attention.
I've been on the sending and receiving end of unconditional love.
Certainly Christ's example is the paragon example.
Doing sacrificially, altruistically FOR someone else without any significant chance for repayment by the recipient, is, imho, unconditional Love.
And, as a BY-PRODUCT, such activities when motivated selflessly from the heart . . . by Holy Spirit within . . . afford one a rich satisfying feeling.
Such selflessness, imho, is impossible without being sponsored to some level and degree within by Holy Spirit whether folks are aware of His work
within, or not.
And, if a given LOVING ACTION is engaged in primarily for the good feeling it affords, then it is polluted and tarnished--perhaps to the point of
obliterating the degree of unconditional love involved.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is an outflowing by-product of being loved by God and actively facilitating or flowing with the outflow of said love
to others in one's sphere of influence. When the GOD-INDIVIDUAL connection is optimum or toward optimum, it is impossible to stifle the flow of
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE . . . and certainly not a limiting action one infused with God's love would WANT.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is like an artesian spring from within the loving individual. It flows naturally, automatically whenever there's a likely
One doesn't see it on every street corner, certainly.
And most often, it's in unassuming, hidden actions here and there where no one is watching.
It seems to me that in crises and suffering contexts . . . UNCONDITIONAL LOVE seems to stand tallest and be most common.
It seems to be least common and least intense in situations where relationships and individuals are far too taken for granted . . . where they wallow
Also, those with significant ATTACHMENT DISORDER . . . are handicapped in terms of love generally. They are still, usually, so bereft of unconditional
love in their backgrounds, they have little love of any kind to give out--particularly UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Too typically, they are left bargaining . . . clawing and scratching . . . coercing . . . manipulating and demanding whatever "proofs" of their
self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem that they can cobble together from their relationships and interactions.
For too many, that includes a LOT of control-freak-ism as well as put-downs, whining, blaming, arrogance, anger etc. visited upon those closest to
OF COURSE, ALL THAT is the opposite of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
And, sadly, ATTACHMENT DISORDER is epidemic in our era.
I've had discussions with colleagues . . . they were initially incredulous when I noted that I thought that 80+% of the general population was plagued
with significant degrees of ATTACHMENT DISORDER. The literature tends to talk about 20%.
However, when we talked about DEFINITIONS of "significant degrees of AD" then they agreed with me that it was likely 80% or greater.
My definition of significant AD was sufficient AD that their personal, work and social relationships were persistently troubled, flawed, mangled,
plagued as a result of their AD.
Just from my students in INTRO TO PSYCH and other classes over 30 or so years . . . I know that out of 30+ students per class . . . 0-3 students ONLY
demonstrated negligible ATTACHMENT DISORDER. And, imho, very few (certainly not more than 8-12 in 30 years) could be said to be totally free of AD. I
actually can't recall any; There were some with few such problems.
So, imho, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is not a common feature of our interpersonal, cultural, social landscapes.
Yet, it is priceless and hope-filled when it is evident.
And given the givens . . . it's interesting and sad that it isn't more common.
There's nothing quite like giving it out or receiving it. The richness is life-long memorable and a great treasure.
So why isn't it more common?
Too few . . . "GET OVER THEMSELVES" sufficiently to engage in it.
SELFISHNESS, GREED, !CONTROL!, FEAR, etc. prevent such loving capacities, choices and actions.
And, frankly, we have to go to THE PRINCE OF PEACE, THE PRINCE OF LOVE for a thoroughly cleansing washing-machine cycle, healing, restoration,
enhancement . . . in order to get very far down the road of UNCONDITIONAL LOVING ways of living and being in the world.
Great thread topic. Thx.
Please See . . .
BO X ATS ATTACHMENT DISORDER THREAD LINK:
MARRIAGE ISN’T FOR YOU!
ATTACHMENT DISORDER IN ADULTS:
edit on 14/12/2013 by BO XIAN because: tags