reply to post by Bluesma
Yes, but at some point, you have to stop and understand that as much as you might love to see your baby's smile, is it worth putting your baby
through what makes you need to see that smile?
To many people these days are ruled by their emotions without regard for their reason. We are trained by our educational system to think with our
emotions, and this is what it gets us.
I see what you mean, but I still remember the logic I had at that time-
What my baby would have, is what I had lacked- he will be LOVED.
From my point of view, that is huge. I hadn't had that. I think that is underestimated by those who have.
It is weird how, when you have not been loved, you begin to think that is the one most important thing in the world, and that it makes all other
Besides, as I tried to say, but apparently didn't word well; I am talking about a drive which overwhelms much objective or "rational" thought. In
the same way a person dying of thirst might be incapable of philosophical contemplation, a person in dire need of family, affection, human relation,
might be also. it is not a matter of "thinking rationally".
Deprive a person of their basic essential needs for survival and of course they can't think real rationally.
To go further with this, my opinion is also that our culture devalues all states of powerlessness.
Not many americans would even have any comprehension at all of the statement that "fragility or weakness is valuable". (yes, in some other cultures,
that idea exists).
is considered a sadly necessary state we must all go through, but hopefully, we can be pulled out of as quickly as possible.
It is "bad" to be needy, to be vulnerable, to be weak, to be dependant.
I believe that we all have a side to us that remains vulnerable, needy, weak and dependant, all our lives
(and it is the source of much
beauty). But the culture which dictates to us that we must reject it causes many to then need to project it upon someone else
Following so far?
The rich may point at the poor and call them that,
The Republicans may point at the Democrats,
One sex may point at another,
Or one nation at another,
Many different possibilities...
But when you can look at another and say, "Tis they, not I" suddenly you feel relieved of that part of you.
Now you are the opposite.
Well, having kids makes you feel relieved of that part of you which is needy, which is dependant, that is weak. You can have compassion for it, (for
that is allowed when it is your own kid) and you can give them the hugs you need, and live it through them.
It is late and what I try to explain here is rather deep, psychologically, but I tried.