ATS Calvinball tourney

reply to post by Aleister


*adjusting position for more cow comfiness, funbox consorts the 'snr fisherprice chemical chemistry edition mark III' a sudden cloud of dread fills his souls as he watches Aliester inject his X's*

ide would start making for the longest field goal ever if I were you...

funBox

reply to post by funbox


Stop play. Whistle blows. Aleister points out that he did not inject his ex's, just chased them a little. Points taken off the board for Funbox's bad eyesight, and before the whistle blows to start play again all cows are piled high and players climb to the top to hold the yodeling part of the competition.

The match starts again after yodelers are pushed off the cows and the semi-pro always-twitching marching bands take the field. Lacrosse teams jostle with trombonists for position, the tuba player learns what "Get away from me" means, and when the drummer tries to run with the candy cannon nobody has the temperament to stop him. Swimmers enter the lake while trailing balloons race them to the deep end. Unexpectedly the dragon team scores! But wait, the crowd again uses its objection funnel to demand a replay, and the referees relatives ponder if the nonimperial-tentacled snugget has crossed the goal line:

reply to post by Aleister


* funBox lays back on the pitch

the pitch,

such a fluctuating metamorphable surface, so quasi soft and springtastic ,~ his head sinks into the most comfortable position on every head spasm, with liquidly tantilizing slowness he sinks down into the enveloping yet welcoming gooeyness , the sounds of the game and incessant yodelling of the crowd , reminds him of days gone by, as he sinks ever deeper, permeating the gooeyness, becoming as of goo and smiling as it eases naturally between his toes*

"parp parp parp"

* wakes up in an embarrassingly gooey mess*

how long have I been asleep inside this cow? and please somebody for the games sake lend me their peashooter..please

funBox

reply to post by funbox


The anorexic yodeler pictured above tries to pull funbox from the cows innards, but her arms are so thin that she only tires herself and falls into the goo besides herself. This starts the clock running backwards, and children riding giraffes surround the pair wrestling each other throughout the cows intestines to call them names, each name eliciting scoring memos from a referee sitting atop a tennis-match judging skyscraper moved to the side of the cow. funbox finally gives the anorexic yodeler a lesson in English, attempts to lift her from the goo with his pinky, and the giraffes finally tire of the sight and wander off in search of bamboo. Doves cry, and Godot finally arrives.

reply to post by Aleister


*funbox sits up in the goo and flicks some off his beak*

Not Godat !!


funBox

reply to post by funbox


Godot arrives just in time to see funbox's historic zoom-in of the picture proving that Mars once held life, laughs like the dickens, and elves, cheerleaders, and trainers take the field to lift funbox on their shoulders, carry him around, and deposit him right back in the cow, where the yodeling girl sings a special yodeling song for him. Someone plays In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida over the loudspeakers, and the stadium drums along on their chairs. Time out is called, but everyone ignores it. Day turns to night as the points rack up, and Vegas showgirls serve drinks.

And Now For Something Completely Different (but strangely familiar)

reply to post by Aleister


*funbox leaps up onto the giraffe, grabbing its neck and squeezing tight, the light filling his eyes pours through the giraffes mouth, filling the field with a red/green waves, players suddenly leap onto their light-boards , energising their whippets into a frenzy of popcorn consumption*

*funBox espies Godat , rears his giraffe, and falls back into the cow*

im never going to get the hang of this game !

funBox

reply to post by Aleister


WHAT A GOAL !

*from a distance funBox beholds Aleister's amazing score , the subtlety !..

the crowd go wild as the fruit machines spin their crazy dance *

like hitting the jackpot

*funBox lays back in the cow in sheer excited exhaustion and cuddles up to the squishy kidney with an excited grin on his face*

funBox

reply to post by funbox


Al comes to sit beside funbox inside the cow innards, tosses the cow liver in the air and catches it, over and over, as the two of them discuss the great books and artwork of the ages, draw mathematical symbols on the ground in cow blood, invite the master of ceremonies to join them but all she can do is yodel on and on, like some kind of mad bird, and the two await someone else to come by and start the game up again. Night turns to day, which turns into noonish, then night again. Crickets start to chirp but are cut off in mid-sentence by the yodeling girl vainly trying to imitate their song but once again sounding like the cow has stirred and given out a half-hearted mooooooo, moooooooo.

funbox is escorted from the field for attempting to drag the game into the toilet. remaining players are awarded 3.14 bonus points each and given a time out to enjoy an ice-cold Pensa-Cola. In the interim the Medicine Man duels one-on-one with Fred the Traitor, said duel won by the MM 4.2 to Oscar. Play resumes with a warning to the Violet team that Violet is not the same as Violent.

reply to post by works4dhs


funbox, watching from the sidelines, decides to make the sidelines the playing field and the playing field the sidelines. He racks up points by running right along the sidelines and calling out "show me the funny" at the top of his voice. works4dhs is pushed into the cow's innards, where he is joined by the yodeling girl, as the Violet team picks all the violets on the sidelines (which is now the playing field). Suddenly all points are reversed, making having points unworthy of trust or showgirls, and having no points putting you ahead of the pack (which runs at everyone, barking and growling).

reply to post by Aleister


Seriously have I just gone insane wtf is this thread !??? Its the most RANDOM thing I have ever read in my life!

reply to post by BoovDawg




*Boovdawg's post gets sucked onto the field as he warms to his/her new mermaid/man body. a passing giraffe awards refreshment's as a yodelling girl picks her nose in 4 time *

funBox

reply to post by BoovDawg


BoovDawg's plaintive cry is taken up by the fans, who are dispersed far and wide to gather up every rule book they can find - game books, Bibles (and other religious literary paraphernalia), constitutions and decrees, executive orders and directives, the original Magna Carta (thanks to yodeling girl for pilfering that) and the original ten commandments (kudos to funbox for tracking that one down), Rules Of The Road and Rules To Live By and thousands of other sources of just plain Rules. Once piled in the center of the playing field they are set alight:


- points scored by inhaling as much of the smoke from the burning rules as you can, holding your breath, and blowing the smoke in the direction of either Mecca, Las Vegas, or a strolling member of the Ruling Class.

reply to post by Aleister


*swimming deep within the cows lower intestine , funBox see's a feint light , quickly dropping the Mentos inside the soda bottle , he screws the cap on tight, and gives the cap a tiny tap*

imagine at this point , something akin to a noise and light that has the mind drilling intensity as the foreknowledge that this Sunday , certain visitors will be knocking at the door, pushing a certain kind of mind fudge , that's equally comparable in a reflective synergistic way in both noise and light

*funBox fly's out of the cows arse with thunder in his eyes, which is quickly replaced by a deeply intense red glow far below.
his tentacles rotate into whirring mind blur, as he glides above the cloud of sickly smelling, acrid and musty tasting smoke,
it whirls below him like a ghost of the past as he empties his lungs , swoops in close and opens his mouth and yawns..

a great tug, the field and players all rush upwards in yodelling unison, the smoke ,99.9694111639% of the fire and a passing cloaked cabbage get chewed and swallowed , as funBox closes his beak with a snap. the players and fans fall back to the field and enjoy a slap up icecream made from the remaining fire ... 'hot hot hot yum yodel'*

funBox

reply to post by funbox


OMD its amazing boovdawg suddenly runs/flaps on to the pitch with a great moment of realisation that #@$%&€£¥₩!,??.^:;!!?*&:; (^$$#3÷×34/5566789*^=×10 is thee answer!!! ama ryt?

reply to post by BoovDawg


*funBox raises his beak from the huge bowl of ice-cream he is devouring*

in this game , you're always right , care for some yodelling ice-cream?

funBox

reply to post by funbox


SOmethiNG dodges to the right, then nothing catapults doing things to the left, free-at-last-free-at-last brings up the kitchen table. In this melee a few players perform chess moves using bottomless wicker baskets as the siren ending the 20th period of play is ignored, taken down from the siren-tower, and melted.