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HowTo: Stop children's temper tantrums

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posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 02:35 PM
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I sympathise unreservedly with parents whose toddlers have tantrums.

My two never had tantrums when they were toddlers (although one's a teenager now so....)
I don't really know why I can only speculate that since they were very young we always talked to them like people rather than babies and encouraged them to try to explain what they wanted.

Maybe that helped or maybe we were just fortunate.




posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 02:36 PM
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reply to post by sulaw
 


You might check out

HOW TO HAVE A NEW KID BY FRIDAY . . . Dr Lehman, IIRC.

And was a book . . . may now be a video . . . haven't checked recently . . .

something like:

HOW TO RAISE THINKING KIDS. Great for teaching consequences and their relationship to choices and behavior--even for toddlers.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 02:41 PM
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reply to post by nugget1
 


Yeah . . . I don't think such drastic measures should be used unless the kid is absolutely out of control, freaked out in intense defiance.

And, actually, there are other ways to break the kid's behavior.

Nevertheless, if all else fails . . . kids can quickly learn that breathing and becoming calm IS more important than continuing an out of control fit.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 02:44 PM
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FirePiston
I don't think that would work. I would say take away their undeserved Iphone, but then again kids these days would probably kill you in your sleep.
Firepiston


What a ludicrous comment. I'm assuming you don't have children. Not every child is adorned with gadgetry, Yes my daughter has a leap pad but she would rather draw or play with her cuddly toys. And yes they do get taken away when she really misbehaves, however I run out of space to store them as I live in a flat, so consficating toys isn't always practical.



King
edit on 2/12/2013 by kingears because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 02:50 PM
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reply to post by Aleister
 


Thanks!
I will give this a try the next time that the opportunity arises. Does is work for bouncing off the walks as well? Just kidding about the last bit. It's amazing how small simple things can make a world of difference.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 03:10 PM
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reply to post by Aleister
 


As my work is very physical, I often have problems with dehydration. Great post, thanks for the info.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 03:18 PM
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nighthawk1954
reply to post by sulaw
 

I am only kidding patients always worked for me ...Thank God there were very few, as I was a single dad when my daughter 6 until I met my wife when she was 10. Today she is chasing her dream of being a Police Officer and a Attorney. She has a $35,000 scholarship for the University of New Haven number one in the USA for Criminal Justice.
I bought to be a leader like her dad, I my self as a officer in my Vol. Fire dept.


Congratulations!!!! That's outstanding, and I was only joking too!!!
At times... Duct tape does cross the mind
I would never do such a thing to my daughter.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 03:29 PM
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How to stop temper tantrums? Well... See, what you do is take a 2x4, a very sturdy leather strap, some heavy duty roofing nails, a trusty propane torch .......and go work on a much neglected home improvement project while the kid goes and blows his own little storm out in his closed room.

You all thought I was gonna suggest something else with all that, huh?



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 04:15 PM
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reply to post by Aleister
 


It is a good point to make sure that your children are hydrated, and I think I see where you are coming from on good water I guess but...

The causality on your logic here is off kilter. This is just bad advice. Most children throw tantrums because they want attention. Positive or negative, it doesn't matter. Giving them a glass of water is still attention, and while the water itself is certainly not going to hurt a darn thing, giving them anything is usually a mistake. This tactic will only make for more tantrums in the long run.

You want to stop tantrums?

Ignore them.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 04:20 PM
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reply to post by redhorse
 


Whilst i agree its all about attention, its very hard to ignore your screaming child in a supermarket or other public setting when everyone is staring at you, making comments and giving you funny looks. In this day an age it wouldn't surprise me if you were reported for neglect and had your child taken away.


King
edit on 2/12/2013 by kingears because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 04:27 PM
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redhorse
reply to post by Aleister
 


It is a good point to make sure that your children are hydrated, and I think I see where you are coming from on good water I guess but...

The causality on your logic here is off kilter. This is just bad advice. Most children throw tantrums because they want attention. Positive or negative, it doesn't matter. Giving them a glass of water is still attention, and while the water itself is certainly not going to hurt a darn thing, giving them anything is usually a mistake. This tactic will only make for more tantrums in the long run.

You want to stop tantrums?

Ignore them.


Beg to differ here. When the body is dehydrated it gets irritable, angry, and about a thousand other things (the most common words in hospital emergency rooms are "Push fluids!"). Listen to a baby cry, or a young child scream, and the raspy sounds in their throats is not because of tired vocal chords, it's from the bodies lack of water. So a tantrum, an angry fit, is maybe asking for attention - attention to give the body some water! Once a child learns when he or she is thirsty, and starts to get the water themselves, the need for that kind of attention should diminish. I'm not saying that children don't demand and expect attention, we all do in our own ways (even posting on ATS). But this is under the medical forum for a reason.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 04:56 PM
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I am sorry, OP. While your post is interesting, it is not entirely accurate.

The issue here has absolutely NOTHING to do with dehydration. Any liquid consumed would take 20-30 minutes at a minimum to reach the small intestines, where it is absorbed into the blood stream.

Therefore, offering them liquid is not solving a hydration issue.

What is happening is that you are creating a distraction instead. You are breaking the cycle of the tantrum. Period.

There is no magic going on here with water/hydration. Sorry.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 05:58 PM
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reply to post by nugget1
 


I ESSENTIALLY QUITE AGREE

with you.

I do know that I was hysterical in the dentist's chair. I think he was wise to use that method. I don't think any other method would have calmed me . . . certainly short of 30 min to an hour's worth of effort just to quiet me--and the first needle or drill--we'd have been off and running on another round.

Being hysterically out of control is not always solved by better hugging.

Certainly I think children NEED TO BE TAUGHT

carefully and early in graduated steps slowly intensifying as they grow older . . .

TO:

1. HANDLE DELAYED GRATIFICATION
2. HANDLE PAIN GRACIOUSLY AND STOICALLY AS FITTING

3. HANDLE BOREDOM CREATIVELY
4. HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT CREATIVELY, GRACIOUSLY AND MATURELY

5. HANDLE INTEGRITY WITH ABSOLUTE INTEGRITY
6. HANDLE FORGIVENESS & FORGIVING GRACIOUSLY, QUICKLY, FULLY--AND AS OFTEN AS NECESSARY UNTIL IT SINKS IN FULLY

7. HANDLE SUCCESS AND PRAISE HUMBLY
8. HANDLE FAILURE GRACIOUSLY, MATURELY, PHILOSOPHICALLY, REFLECTIVELY AND CREATIVELY.

9. HANDLE ANGER PRODUCTIVELY AND MATURELY--FLUSHING AND DISTRACTING FROM PETTY ANGER AND USING IMPORTANT ANGER REDEMPTIVELY, CONSTRUCTIVELY.

10. HANDLE JEALOUSY BY RESISTING IT WHOLESALE AS BENEATH THEM.
11. HANDLE CHAOS AND CONFUSION BY FOCUSING ON ETERNAL VALUES AND PRIORITIES.

12. HANDLE FEEDBACK AND ADVICE GRACIOUSLY AND WISELY AS FITS THE SITUATION--NOT HAUGHTILY DISMISSING IT EVER.
----------------------------------(C) 2013 by Bo XIan-----------------------------------

But doing any of the above well requires an emotionally bonded, emotionally significant/intense, trustworthy Love relationship with the parentS.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 05:58 PM
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reply to post by phantomjack
 


While that is true, your body will stop demanding it immediately. Food won't go to where it's needed for ages but you're not hungry straight after a meal.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 06:05 PM
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phantomjack
I am sorry, OP. While your post is interesting, it is not entirely accurate.

The issue here has absolutely NOTHING to do with dehydration. Any liquid consumed would take 20-30 minutes at a minimum to reach the small intestines, where it is absorbed into the blood stream.

Therefore, offering them liquid is not solving a hydration issue.

What is happening is that you are creating a distraction instead. You are breaking the cycle of the tantrum. Period.

There is no magic going on here with water/hydration. Sorry.


Nah, water is out and throughout the body within minutes. I've been hydrated since about 1988, and I know when I need water, when I drink it, and how long it takes to do its work. Minutes, if not less. So you can throw all the data at me you have, and I'll call it wrong from personal experience.

I would submit that a large percentage of children's tantrums come from thirst. The body craves water, modern humans in "civilized" societies walk around dehydrated, but children aren't accustomed to it yet. They still cry for water. In adults that cry comes in sore throats, dry skin, aching muscles, depression, dandruff, and many other symptoms of dehydration. Children aren't accepting of that as yet, they haven't been beaten down by parents saying "No, you may not have more water". So I would say that the creation of what you call a distraction is actually the alleviation of what is causing the problem, with the tantrum being the outward indication of distress.


edit on 2-12-2013 by Aleister because: (no reason given)

edit on 2-12-2013 by Aleister because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 3 2013 @ 05:55 AM
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jhn7537
reply to post by Aleister
 


Back of the hand works quite well..... (obviously joking for all you serious types on ATS)


Nah, you only do that when the kid throws that water at you...then it turns into a stand-your-ground rule. (Kidding also)

The best way to prevent temper tantrum's is to ignore them. Take the power away from them and hold onto it yourself. Never had a problem with temper tantrum's. Then again, kids always had juice or soda.



posted on Dec, 3 2013 @ 07:14 AM
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I removed all sugary or corn syrup containing drinks three years ago and replaced with water for my children. Their behavior markedly improved which I attribute to removing the steady supply of juices, sodas and other sweet drinks given to most of our children.

Their behavior prior to that can best be said to be, atrocious, willful and spiteful. That reduced noticeably within couple weeks.

I have also done this with cereals and other products. I also give them natural vegi, berry and fruit supplements which markedly reduced carb cravings because their bodies are getting all needed nutrients.

As an aside both are a minimum of two grade levels ahead on most school subjects, in some cases three levels up. Can't prove its lower amount of sweeteners but one has to wonder if concentration is improved.

I do have to watch it when they are doing social activities where adults serve up the normal crap full of corn syrups as it has an effect described by me as "rocket fuel" to my children because they no longer tolerate very well.

Now fast food, soda, juices, snacks, desserts and such are considered once in awhile "treats" not needs.

Generally the healthy food adage of eat as close to the source as possible comes into play - its more work but worth it.



posted on Dec, 3 2013 @ 07:19 AM
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Thanks for posting, I am a little skeptical but I will give it a go and report back!

My toddler doesn't often have full blown 'lie on the floor kicking' tantrums but she will have a short outburst if things don't go her way and we have not pre-empted a distraction for her!

I understand your logic that being dehydrated may cause irritability and therefore a tantrum may be more likely to occur but I am not sure that being hydrated will completely cut out these feelings of frustration a child may feel if they can't have what they want.

Anyway I have already said too much, the real test will be to try it.....



posted on Dec, 3 2013 @ 07:21 AM
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reply to post by Scouse100
 


Not saying this will stop all tantrums, but I would guess that often when children are having a fit (accompanied with those supersonic screams) about something they want and don't have, that what they really want is water.



posted on Dec, 3 2013 @ 07:25 AM
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reply to post by Phoenix
 


You sound like a great mom. Please adopt me.

I wish my mom had known enough to keep me and my siblings off of soda and sugary products. I drank soda for decades, and still have to keep away from sugar as I am a total addict and one bite can shove me onto the path to cookies, cakes, and candy again. I don't crave those things when I'm weaned from them, but easily fall back like some kind of wild animal once I get a taste again. Been "off" sugar since Sept. of 2012 on my latest weaning, and don't miss it at all.



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