My friends toilet nightmare......LOL

So I want to just pass along an epic experience of my friend.

I woke up this morning to a text message. I was too groggy to read it since it was rather long and that alone told me to just put the phone down until later.

When I did read it, I had to sit down so that I didnt fall over laughing.

My friend is a 6 foot something tall irish guy. A brick house. Red, pale and huge.

So he is on vacation with his girl friend.......and this happened to him yesterday.

From text message, verbatim:

"We went to go to this botanical garden at a college close by. Last night I had cider, it was causing me some discomfort as we got to the college. As soon as we got there an uncontrollable urge to isht came over me, it was all I could think about. With my butthole quivering and struggling to retain the contents of my colon, I ran into this student center and frantically searched for a mens room, but to no avail. It was then that I realized I was at an all womens college. There wasnt going to be any mens rooms. Sheer panic came over me. My heart began to beat faster and faster followed by profuse sweating. It was now or never. This isht was coming.

Finally I came upon a womens room. I struggled with my choice, but it was clear what I had to do. I mustered up some courage and went in running by two women who went running out of the bathroom with fear on their faces. Lucky for them because shortly after I unleashed the fury upon the womans room toilet. The sounds and smell were epic I assure you. But my nightmare wasnt over.

I wiped up quickly washed and strategically looked out as I cracked the door slightly. The coast was clear or so I thought. I made my move when I noticed the two who were in the bathroom and several other women with puzzled and angry looks on their faces glaring at me.

Their looks pierced me. I had to run away shouting I am sorry I had to do it!!! Finally I met up with BLANK and left the area immediately."

He had called me the day before and tried to tell me about diarrhea or something and I just couldnt laugh at the moment so I quickly told him to F off and to call me back later since I was working.

This was the result......

A friend of mine whilst working for british gas found himself in a similar situation. Having found a pub on the high street that wasnt open yet, he noticed they were cleaning and getting ready to open, so he politely asked to use the toilet. They happily obliged and let him in, he used the toilet just about making it and I quote he "destroyed the place"
The next day when passing the same establishment he noticed a new sign in the window which read 'TOILETS ARE FOR CUSTOMERS'USE ONLY'
I think its safe to say he never returned to that pub again.

reply to post by tadaman

Thank you, I needed a laugh

A few years back the uk was in the grips of one of those stomach bugs (they never bother me) and I was in a very long queue on the motorway. The other side of the motor way was also standing still. High up in my cab I could see across to the other side and I noticed a guy get out of his car. He was doubled over, obviously in pain. He stood buy his car and one handedly pulled down his trousers. At first I thought he was a perve but then all of a sudden a he erupted from both ends at the same time! A few seconds later the guy in the car behind him leapt from his car and vomited, then another guy did the same!
I was in stitches LOL but felt really sorry for the first guy. I think the other two vomited because they saw the first guy.

VoidHawk
reply to post by tadaman

 

Thank you, I needed a laugh

A few years back the uk was in the grips of one of those stomach bugs (they never bother me) and I was in a very long queue on the motorway. The other side of the motor way was also standing still. High up in my cab I could see across to the other side and I noticed a guy get out of his car. He was doubled over, obviously in pain. He stood buy his car and one handedly pulled down his trousers. At first I thought he was a perve but then all of a sudden a he erupted from both ends at the same time! A few seconds later the guy in the car behind him leapt from his car and vomited, then another guy did the same!
I was in stitches LOL but felt really sorry for the first guy. I think the other two vomited because they saw the first guy.

God help me that was frighten hilarious, ty for that story, it was Even funny while I sit here listening to Christmas music. Somehow I think Christ had a laugh at it too!

reply to post by twohawks

Hi fellow hawk
Glad it made you laugh, op's story made me laugh
I often wonder whether anyone got it on vid! Probably on youtube but dont think I want to find it LOL

sounds like your friend may have grounds for a lawsuit

reply to post by tadaman

Ha Ha Ha Haaaa.

The humor on this site ... Who would expect to find 'this needle' in the haystack of conspiracy? Thanks for sharing.