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Why Poor Peoples Bad Decisions Don’t Make Perfect Sense

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posted on Dec, 1 2013 @ 05:42 PM
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In the contrary of This Is Why Poor People's Bad Decisions Make Perfect Sense I read the last post of this woman who read the article and was somehow offended by the article that was presented on another website that I made this thread around.

She asked me several times if I had read her contradictory statement.
So I did and felt guilty that I placed this earlier thread that I at first wanted to drop but accidentally by computer error placed on the forum so I had to go along with that.
So I asked her if I could bring up her story of how and why sometimes poor people bad decisions not always makes perfect sense because of situations some are unwillingly drawn into caused by others they cant fight or resist too..

I read your story and I was just as moved as the other one, so to set this right for you I will show it here for everybody to read because I know there so many people who live day by day with this pain and struggle in life that they endlessly in their sight relive hoping if there will ever be light and love in their lives.



Why Poor Peoples Bad Decisions Don’t Make Perfect Sense To Me

I recently read an online article called “This is why poor people’s bad decisions make perfect sense”. It was a long explanation as to why the author and poor people in general make bad decisions. It left me feeling insulted and to be honest, a bit pissed off.

I am a poor person. Has every decision in my life been the best decision? No. But I have made NONE of the bad decisions the article refers to. I feel the need to be heard on behalf of all of the poor people making good decisions.

The definition of poor is lacking sufficient money to live at a standard considered comfortable or normal in a society.

My parents are poor too. For many years they raised their family on less than $200/month. When I was in grade school we couldn’t afford the hot lunch program and got lunches sent from home. We could afford ketchup and mustard sandwiches. Meat was too expensive. Meat was for dinner only and then it was spread thin with noodles and whatever else was available to throw in to make the meal stretch and feed the whole family.

As I grew up I got good grades and graduated high school. In my senior year my creative writing teacher encouraged me to go to college for writing. He said I had talent. College was never something I had considered. No-one in my family had gone to college and there was no money for it.

I got a job instead and eventually moved out on my own. I was still poor but I had hopes and dreams for a better future. I decided to go to college. I applied for grants and loans and started at a university. I also continued working. I had worked my way up to being an assistant manager at a store near campus. At this same time I met someone and fell in love.

One semester into college I got pregnant. We were using protection but nothing is 100% safe. I felt it was meant to be so I committed to being a parent. Four months later I was spotting and was put on bed rest. I had to leave school and my job. While I was pregnant the man I was in love with decided that alcohol and drugs were more fun than being responsible with me. That spiraled out of control. By the time my son was born I knew I would be doing this alone. He became abusive and I left him. I never received any help with my son physically or financially.

Life was never easy but I had made a commitment to my child and I kept that commitment.

Sleep is a small luxury. 8 hours in a night? I don’t even remember what that feels like. I smoked cigarettes when I was a teen but from the moment I suspected being pregnant I have never had another. Exhausted or not.

At one point I was approached by my niece who was concerned that I was becoming anorexic. I wasn't anorexic; I was walking 10-20 miles a day. Often with my son on my back or with a fully loaded stroller….or both. I walked to work, to the food shelf, to the laundry mat, to everything. A car? Insurance? Gas? All totally unaffordable expenses.

I got daycare assistance so I could work. My son was the first one there in the mornings and the last one to leave in the evening. When he was 4 he was sent to the toddler room at the end of the day because all of the other kids in his age group had gone home. My days were long and I was still making barely enough to keep a roof over our heads. Rent is not cheap….especially if you want to avoid the most dangerous neighborhoods. Food was scarce and I didn’t want to take away from my son so I only ate what he didn’t like or need. I didn’t want him to feel the lack.

When I fell too far behind on rent we’d have to move and do it again. We moved a lot. When my son started first grade the other kids called him poor boy because I couldn't afford to buy him any Pokémon toys….the hot item at the time. We had never heard of them. We didn’t have cable.

Eventually life seemed to get better. The housing market was booming so with a friend’s encouragement I went to a tech college and took a short course to become licensed in real estate. I couldn’t afford the time off work or away from my son to get a 2 or 4 year degree so I thought it was a good alternative. I did well at first, built up my income and credit and bought my first home. It was a cheap house that had been left in major disrepair but I loved it just the same and with the help of my Dad, fixed it up and made it home. I met a seemingly wonderful, successful man, we began building a life together and we got engaged.

Have you ever seen the movie “Sleeping With The Enemy”? That is what happened to me. From the moment the ring went on my finger and the engagement announcements were made he became extremely controlling, not even wanting me to spend time with my family, and made it clear that he now was a priority over my son. He was abusive and scary. I started to make plans to flee. I changed my son to a new school system and sent him to stay with my sister who at the time lived in a very bad neighborhood in a large city. That was scary too but I had to get away. My, then fiancé’ was unaware that I was also making plans to move and he was happy to see my son sent away, but just in case, he stole valuables from my house whenever I was away and emptied our joint accounts. Over time he also took out credit cards in my name, maxed them out and defaulted them to destroy my credit. His idea was that if I was destitute financially I would be forced to stay with him. I got away. I sold my home and walked away with just enough money to get a place for my son and I in a better area of the city but by the time I got there I had lost everything else I had ever worked for up to that point in my life. That is when the housing market crashed. My job as a real estate agent was suddenly at a standstill, I lost my home to the bank, my credit was now ruined by my ex and made worse by the foreclosure. I was truly starting over with nothing. I had a nervous breakdown. No doctor would see me without cash or insurance, I just had to deal on my own. I lost 20 lbs in a month.

To be continued here...Why Poor Peoples Bad Decisions Don’t Make Perfect Sense To Me.

I hope many find your story just as important to read as the one I got from the killermatinis site
I think you should start writing more and show this to world and also here on ATS..

Peace and love Sherp...
edit on 0b57America/ChicagoSun, 01 Dec 2013 17:54:57 -0600vAmerica/ChicagoSun, 01 Dec 2013 17:54:57 -06001 by 0bserver1 because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 1 2013 @ 06:03 PM
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Trying not to cry. That is so eerily similar to what I went through. Not all of it, but some of it, and i definitely know the feeling. Only she had parents and a family. I had no one.
edit on 1-12-2013 by calstorm because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 1 2013 @ 06:25 PM
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reply to post by calstorm
 


It's hard when you have to experience so much setbacks in your life . And still try to stay positive ...



posted on Dec, 1 2013 @ 07:21 PM
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Observer, I appreciate you giving this woman equal time, her story is valid and I'm sure there are those who can identify with her obstacles. It is sad when so much "bad" happens in one person's experience.

Having said that (and meant it), I must say that I identified much more closely with the original article. It was a generalization that culminated many obstacles, situations and circumstances into one congruent explanation.

I am poor, always have been, most likely always will be. I'm not overly bitter or spiteful because of it, in fact I believe my life of struggle has built a depth of character and moral values that is missing among the wealthy. A compassion that escapes those who look down their nose at those of a lower caste. My 2 front teeth are chipped, my body aches, my joints crunch and I'm sure I have at least one stomach ulcer, but what can I do? My children have medical coverage through the state, but I am not eligible so I just deal with it. I wanted Universal Health Care and that's the main reason I voted for Obama... twice. Yes, what he ended up offering is an insult to those who supported him and truly need coverage, but can't afford it. I'm upset, but not surprised. Yes I live day to day on what I can scrape together for food and utilities, necessities and, wait for it, pleasures! Twice a month on Saturday night I order pizza and rent 2 movies from RedBox, knowing full well that it bites heavily into my grocery budget. But so what?! My kids, hubby and I sit in the living room and watch the movies, eat the pizza and have quality family time which is hard to come by!

One of the greatest things about knowing that this "lifestyle" builds character and morals was watching my oldest son sit down at a table with only two presents on it for his 18th Birthday and seeing him well up with tears as he opened them and saw that they were handmade. I wrote him a book of sorts about his life up to this point through my eyes and included a few pages of inspirational quotes from famous people. My husband and other 2 sons built him a lockbox complete with a combination lock for him to store his important papers, documents and identification forms in. He thanked us with true sincerity and while I had been worried about his future and how he'll handle all the sh!t life throws at him, in that moment all that worry faded away!

Yes, we make bad decisions, but most of them are made from a place of wanting to find happiness in every situation it can be found while doing the least amount of damage in general to anyone or anything around us. We all have our unique stories of hardship, however the last thing we should be doing is judging one another for the choices made (that don't harm anyone other than ourselves) that we don't think we would make in a different scenario.

So like I tell my kids; "Suck it up Buttercup, everybody's got something, don't think you're so special."



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 02:50 AM
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reply to post by IrishCream
 


Amazing how much strength and spirit you'll have when it comes to poverty in life. I think most people who are very rich are not able to handle life on this level.. but in times like this you really understand how importand the ones
Who are still around you are so in essence it looks like if you're more aware of life then any other human on this planet.

But I'd hope that the time for poor people one day will slightly change so that they don't have to think that life is nothing more than a big survival trip, and that you can sometimes forget all the sorrow that it brings..
But the most valuable thing in life would be the people who're still around you and love you for who you are..

Thanks for your story really appreciatie that...
edit on 0b52America/ChicagoMon, 02 Dec 2013 02:54:52 -0600vAmerica/ChicagoMon, 02 Dec 2013 02:54:52 -06001 by 0bserver1 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 05:07 AM
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being poor sucks, but it's only money.
everyone can not control that.

no need to be poor in your soul or character.
everyone CAN control that.

i understand desperate decisions, under duress, might not be the best.
i been there and still have to step back and make a level headed plan for the present and future.

do i rob a store or try to get a job?

they can't get blood out of a stone.



posted on Dec, 2 2013 @ 07:35 AM
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reply to post by 0bserver1
 


I am glad to share.

I too hope the suffering will ease and not just for the poor. I can see how some people believe that Earth=Hell when having to live life as "a big survival game" as you so aptly put it. However, it has always been a reality that human beings live in perpetual caste system... the "Have's" and the "Have-not's" will always be in play until and unless something hugely significant happens to change that. I don't have a clue what that might be, but something tells me it is looming in the horizon.

I am a firm believer that we are, as individuals, an extension of God/Creator and through our unique experiences we are expanding consciousness. No two people can experience something in the same way; example: John and Jane are standing on the corner together and witness a car accident. The police will interview both witnesses and each will have their own version, however both versions lend themselves to a more detailed description of the event. Just like that, I believe Creator/Source/Energy/God relies on the individual experiences of "self" split into billions of "particles" so as to have in-numerous vantage points to such things as suffering, pain, joy, sadness, happiness, love etc. through the human condition. It probably is the same story over and over on every rock that supports life in our vast Universe.

So in summery, why not just enjoy this ride the best you can, make every moment count and keep on truckin'?! After all, none of this will mean much of anything when your individual ride is over. People need to quit poo-pooing, finger pointing and playing the victim role. Life IS what you make it, so make it as great as you can and count your blessings every minute of every day because this minute might be your last. And yes, even find a way to acknowledge your pain and suffering, feel it, but don't dwell there for you run the risk of it becoming a stagnant cesspool of misery that will swallow you up like quicksand



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