posted on Dec, 10 2013 @ 06:42 PM
Hello everyone. This is my second or third post on this site. I would actually like to ask for some guidance... To give a brief background about
myself; I've been meditating, and conceptualizing on the goals of meditation for about 4 years. During this time, I've had great breakthroughs
while witnessing the "witness" sort of speak. But these breakthroughs were never physical. They all had to with expanding my mental capacity, and
therefore grasping more perspectives. I never had any physical symptoms as a result of these expansions/insights. Just more clarity on "what is"
as opposed to "what should be."
I don't know if it counts for anything, but I've also had the honor to attend to a couple Shamanic Ayahuasca, and San Pedro rituals. But not even
in those rituals, even under the influence have I had the experience I recently had.
In the past 10 months, things in my life have completely changed. The company that I work for, offered me a job in another country. I took the job,
and for the first time in my life, I was without distractions. I was in a land where I didn't know anyone. All I had was work, and time to
The experience: This is a subjective experience trying to articulate itself in verbs for the first time.
On November 17th, I started meditating. I wouldn't even be able to begin to articulate on how and when during the meditation it began, but it was as
if, something, something very familiar was calling me. This was a very warm, more of a child-like, call. By then things started picking up very
rapidly, and in the blink of an eye, I've come to understand that this thing was in communication with me all along. It was the small things, but
they had always been there. How it's been always there tirelessly, and constantly giving me clues... I never had given the day to notice them. I
bet it's the same with everyone else, specific to subjective memories, and symbols around those memories. Just to give an example, ever since I've
known myself, if you give me a piece of paper and a pen, I draw spirals. I never even paid any attention to that. This thing, it had been in
communication with me pretty much all my life. It had showed itself in whole life all along.
It was hidden on the side of my body that I was not using. It desired to integrate itself into organic matter. This was more of a correct
"fitting" issue. Using the vehicle up to the potential, type of thing.
I hope this makes sense, I'm only trying to convert very subjective experience into public eye, and I appreciate the time you are taking by reading
this, but this continues.
As I was having these insights, I quickly started to realize something. I now had had pressure points. They were located on certain points in my
body, and on my head. I started having anxiety about these pressure points. They were solid as rock, and they were super foreign to me. But see,
this thing, whatever it was, quickly pointed out to the spirals I had been drawing all my life. In my mind, the spirals were the solution to these
immense pressure points. On each pressure point, everytime I thought of it as a spiral, and be a spiral in it, it would dissolve. Because the bigger
picture was that everything dissolves...
Intellectually, my mind was fixed on the fact that I was in a body on a planet. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was grounded in the thought
of that for a very consistent amount of time. My grounding in it has caused the further expansion. Believe me when I say that you can get very up
close and personal with your nervous system.
There came a moment when I fully realized that what I call 'me' is a "mental projection", it really freaked me out for a second. Words don't do
justice when in need to verbalize this event.
As I was spiraling in and out of these nasty pressure points, I suddenly became aware that I was seriously having an experience. Maybe this motivated
me to go deeper, but at one point, I've come to understand that what I call me had placed its consciousness near a very fragile region around my
heart. In my experience, it had grounded itself in a tiny organic matter in the heart tissue, and it had grounded itself into organic matter through
geometry. At least this has been my impression of it. It literally said hi to me, a humanoid figure in a green triangle. We were both dancing and
giggling like little kids. (I actually can't believe I'm writing this)
... I know, but this gets crazier. Ever since this experience, I've had numerous experiences where I was witnessing the event in where both
hemispheres in my brain were balancing, and projecting, and light everywhere...
This is where I get stuck. Have I stumbled upon this by accident? Because I still have fear, which causes friction. Things are happening way too
fast, and sometimes I can't handle the pressure that originates from that point right in the middle of my head. Can this be harmful? Sometimes my
heart changes a rhythm so rapidly, that it shakes my foundation. I hear high pitch sounds around me. I mostly have complaints about headaches.
Sometimes I can't match the energy this thing is giving out, at least, this is what it feels like.
I've been very careful not defining anything, and so far I've come all this way, but I'm suddenly in a very isolated and real situation, and the
only time when I get release is when I think of myself in geometrical positions. Sometimes the pressure gets too intensified, and scares me. I've
never even been into geometry before, and now everything is secondary to it. All of a sudden, everything is a spiral that's actually happening at
the speed of light, but we are actually slowing ourselves down to observe what's happening around the spiral.
I've come to understand many things. Like inhaling is female, and it's grounding to the earth, and exhaling is male, and it's the explorer. Ever
since this incident, I perceive myself to be a receiver, and giver, and I can feel all these electrical happenings in and around me.
Lucky for me, I get to work from home, and I'm somewhat prepared for the situations that's coming at me day to day, but in reality my mind is
constantly dealing with geometry, and my body shoots energy, and it's freaking real, there's no question about it.
I've asked it to not give me a frightening experience, but boy I tell ya, sometimes it feels like a fuel rocket shoots up your spine. And
unfortunately I get scared like a little girl.
Nevertheless, I didn't condition myself to experience these things. They are at my face right now. There seems to be certain protocol here. What
does one do in the midst of this info-populated era?
Can this thing be dangerous? How do I seriously let go of that fear? If I can't let go, am I causing more harm to it? I know it sounds like I'm
conditioning myself, but when my senses get hyper=sensitive, I get freaked out from the smallest things, and loose my grounding immediately. The
reaction is too strong.
What does one do?
Any perspective would be appreciated.
Thanks for reading and prosper.