Disagreement without the Hate

www.commondreams.org...

Disagreement is an essential component of a healthy relationship, a healthy workplace, and a healthy democracy. Much research documents the dangers of surrounding ourselves with so-called “yes men” who always concur. Workplace echo chambers stifle innovation and reify bad policy decisions. Disagreement stimulates creative thinking and prompts innovation.

Yet, there is indeed a peaceful, even collaborative, way to disagree. And, I contend, that it never involves personal insults, ad hominem attacks, and strings of epithets and curse words.

Unfortunately, it seems as though few in the U.S are taught how to disagree peacefully and constructively. Instead, if we read, hear or see something that bothers us, we tend to get all pissy about it and, rather than present our case, resort to the lowest blows we can. This behavior is, of course, modeled at nearly every turn.

My recent experience authoring op-eds illustrates the issue perfectly. I authored a piece about the bureaucratic stifling of activism. In the op-ed, I encouraged folks who disagree with my positions to share their viewpoints, as dialogue and disagreement can lead to amazingly creative social change from the synthesis of the best parts of different arguments. While I did receive some pleasant feedback, I also received one very disturbing piece of hate email.

Not only did this anonymous emailer attack me personally, using hateful slurs, but s/he also failed to see the point I was making , which was precisely that we should not all agree but should not stifle those who do not see things our way.

I found this a pretty good article and about a topic that bears repeated attention. That you can disagree with a concept, an idea, even and action taken. That arguments are not fights to the death but venues for collaboration and learning.

ATS needs to be reminded of this often.

I fully acknowledge that I need more practise with cilvilized argument. Truthfully sometimes it just feels good to call somebody as SOB.

A couple of steps that I use to maintain a detached dialogue with those I disagree with are:

1: Always stop to talk a deep breath and reread.
2: If I don't understand what's being said (rather then what I think their words mean) ask questions.
3: Find something that I can agree with to start.

How do you keep your cool, keep an open mind, and deal with immaturity??

FyreByrd
www.commondreams.org...

How do you keep your cool, keep an open mind, and deal with immaturity??

Well, apparently the same way that people deal with the type of maturity found in your post.

By ignoring it.

I think it's a good topic and it says something about the readership here at ATS that you posted it 18 hours ago and got no replies.

You can usually just tell if a person is confrontational, so the best thing to do is just not engage them in conversation. If you have to talk to them, keep it all vague, rushed and maintain eye contact.

FyreByrd
ATS needs to be reminded of this often.

Take your own advice before you tell others to shape up.
I've seen some seriously judgmental garbage be posted by you.
And you fail to retract and fail to apologize.

Matthew 7:1-3 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?