posted on Nov, 18 2004 @ 02:53 PM
This is my first post (yeah, I'm a lurker--when I have time to lurk, that is). I'd never heard of Anesthesia Awareness until after it happened to me
back in 1995. I was 32, a wife and mom of two children, and I woke up during an appendectomy...while the surgeon was tugging on my appendix, about to
snip...and for the next fifteen to twenty min, I was locked in hellish agony. Unable to move, unable to scream. (During general anesthesia, I was
given two drugs. One was to keep me unconscious; the other was to paralyze my muscles, to keep them from twitching during surgery. The knockout drug
wore off, but the paralyzing agent didn't.) The thing I remember most, aside from the terrible pain, was the screaming inside of my head and how I
tried so hard to move, to let the surgical team know I was awake. It was a horrible thing, being able to hear them talking and working on me--I could
even feel the tape over my eyelids!--and being totally unable to communicate. Physically, it nearly killed me. Emotionally, it took six months to get
back to "normal" after battling Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and full-blown panic attacks.
There's so much more I could tell you, but my hands are shaking badly, remembering how awful this experience was. I did manage to write it all down
(took me a long time to do it); so if anyone's interested, it's coming out in print in Morbid Curiosity Magazine in their Spring '05 issue. I
don't mean that to sound like a shameless plug; it's not--I just want folks to know where they can find my story.