College Students More Likely to Be Lawbreakers If Spanked as Children

reply to post by Scouse100


I don't in any way mean to demean you, or tell you how to raise your kids but you may be a little new at this. You may see things differently with some experience:





Funny but true.

This is a blatant lie, sorry.

Have you taken a look at the kids today, a huge majority are spoiled, rotten little brats who think they own the world most were never punished as a kid.

I was spanked so was my whole generation and the generations before and compared to the latter couple of generations as a whole more of us are law abiding citizens who contribute to society.

Take those boys and girls right now the KO crew, these jerks are left to do whatever they want obviously and this is what our society gets for it. Where are these kids parents? This kind of thing did not happen when I was a teen, or my parents etc...

TPTB want us to raise spoiled brats who think only of themselves and have no care for anyone else. This is what happens when kids are not punished they think they are in charge, they think there are no reprucisions for their actions and they push further and further each time. This article and any like it and especially anything that comes out of that Harris chicks mouth is simply propoganda. They just keep inching us closer and closer to a 1984 society where children respect and care only about big brother, this is an obvious attempt to break up the bonds of family. I was spanked by my parents and i'm better for it. I follow rules, I work hard for things I want and I understand that I only get anywhere in life by working for it not taking.

Obviously there is a difference between an open handed spanking for breaking serious rules vs a drunk parent who spanks because they are angry. Yes that is wrong and in cases as that would be considered abusive. And I agree that children who are beaten bloody and terrorized as kids usually turn out to be monsters, but that's extreme and in no way does being beaten with fists by an angry parent compare to a spanking to the rear end. But if your child steals your credit card and goes shopping they deserve some swats to the rearend not a "that was wrong dear".

reply to post by intrepid


Yes they are amusing, I must admit I am already seeing certain things differently now I have my second on the way, and there are so may things I see differently now compared to before I had my first.

One thing that has been cemented though is that I will never use physical means to discipline my child, ever.

reply to post by brandiwine14


People tend to have very selective memory from what I have seen. I am 32 myself now, A lot of the "kids" I grew up with are now parents. They all act like they were angels as kids, we were far from it. My ex the other day was venting on facebook about catching her 13 year old daughter making out with a guy and was fuming. Then I reminded her what we were up to around the same age lol. A bit more than that. I see things like that all the time, I find it hard to believe that it is an isolated incident, and it's just people I know that have the selective memory.

I got spanked and I follow the law. I think that this whole research is a misconception. Maybe the bad kids needed spankings but didn't learn from it. I spanked my kids, I told them what they did to deserve it. A good kid only needs a spanking a couple of times when they are young to show them you have authority over them. If it doesn't work after a few times, than the kids don't have respect for their parents authority and it has to be addressed differently.

A parent cannot get an effective spanking to work if they themselves do what they are spanking their kids for doing, the kid will see this. If spanking is done too often it teaches nothing to the kid. The kid learns that spanking is a sort of affection so they fight with their friends. We got a mess in society, spanking should not be considered bad if used appropriately.

Time out on the other hand is a complete waste of time. It is more cruel to put a kid in a corner for ten minutes in front of their friends than to spank them. The misapplied humility can dampen their confidence and cause much worse consequences in the long run. A combination of different punishments should be used.

Grounding the kids, taking away a privilege for a certain amount of time, spanking on worst offenses only when young, send to their room, make them do more chores for a while, etc.. work much of the time. You want to dampen a kids spirit, not destroy their confidence. They will need that confidence to succeed later in life.

Some of my worst liked punishments when I was a kid were: A spoon full of codliver oil if you were getting cranky and arguing with your siblings. The bar of soap in the mouth for five minutes if you talked back or said a bad word....I had a pretty clean smelling breath and very few cavities as a result. Getting your own switch from the lilac bush, that was worse than the switching itself.

Scouse100
One thing that has been cemented though is that I will never use physical means to discipline my child, ever.

That is your choice and I won't poopoo it. I will say though that we did pretty much the same with our son(our first). I had to put him through a couple of walls 9 years ago to straighten him out. He was 14 and acting badly. Should have done it much sooner. That wasn't pleasant for him or us.

rickymouse
A parent cannot get an effective spanking to work if they themselves do what they are spanking their kids for doing, the kid will see this. If spanking is done too often it teaches nothing to the kid. The kid learns that spanking is a sort of affection so they fight with their friends. We got a mess in society, spanking should not be considered bad if used appropriately.

So how does this work when a parent is hitting their child as punishment for hitting another child for example?

reply to post by Scouse100

So how does this work when a parent is hitting their child as punishment for hitting another child for example?

More importantly, why does it matter to you? You have already stated your beliefs as a parent and how to raise your child right?

So either you are just asking a question, or you are pushing an agenda to push your beliefs on parents whom believe differently than you do!!!!

Freedom does not mean that it only exists for those whom believe as you do!

Yet, we wonder why our country is so screwed up..........

reply to post by seeker1963


I just enjoy debating issues that are important to me, I am trying to illustrate my point of leading by example.

I also thought of something.

When this study was about spanking, how did they define spanking? Most of the people here who were spanked didn't get beaten (which often gets called "spanking") and they weren't spanked as the first and only disciplinary resort.

Also, how many of us who were spanked and turned out fine were also raised with religion whether or not we kept it up as adults?

How many of the spanked children today who wound up in jail had any exposure to religion when they were raised?

As was mentioned early on, religion is one of the better ways to give children a firm foundation for right and wrong and why you should hold to it even if you eventually decide you don't believe in the religion itself. That early training still tends to hold.

Also, when they were doing this study, did they control for single parent homes v. two parent homes? How many of the spanked children who wound up in jail also came from single parent homes? It is well known that single parent homes and growing up in poverty are the biggest determinants for who winds up in jail. I would think a side by side comparison of populations of spanked children from intact two parent and single parent (or broken) families might also tell us a lot about how much impact spanking itself actually has.

ketsuko
Also, when they were doing this study, did they control for single parent homes v. two parent homes? How many of the spanked children who wound up in jail also came from single parent homes? It is well known that single parent homes and growing up in poverty are the biggest determinants for who winds up in jail. I would think a side by side comparison of populations of spanked children from intact two parent and single parent (or broken) families might also tell us a lot about how much impact spanking itself actually has.

Makes sense. Put in intoxicant dependency of the parent(s) and we've got an interesting premise.

reply to post by Scouse100

I just enjoy debating issues that are important to me, I am trying to illustrate my point of leading by example.

I can appreciate that to a point. I debate on what is important to me as well, however, the basis of my debates is the freedom granted to me and my fellow Americans by the Constitution!

My feelings and ideologies do NOT trump those whom have different beliefs than I do! Think about it. What is freedom, if we allow one group with greater numbers and ideas to rule and impose their beliefs on those whom feel differently???

Again, I have nothing against those whom can teach their children right from wrong without having to give them a few cracks on their buttocks, but my issue is with those whom refuse to see why some parents might have to resort to that type of punishment and accuse them of abuse when they are clueless as to the situation that these parents have to deal with......

Regardless of ones view of a Utopian society, things are NOT always black and white.....

reply to post by ketsuko

How many of the spanked children today who wound up in jail had any exposure to religion when they were raised?

Considering we live in a predominantly Christian society, I would say most were "exposed" to religion.

As was mentioned early on, religion is one of the better ways to give children a firm foundation for right and wrong and why you should hold to it even if you eventually decide you don't believe in the religion itself. That early training still tends to hold.

I disagree 100%. Religion is not by any means a good foundation for teaching right and wrong. A good way to teach right and wrong is to show them. In word and deed. To help them understand there is a reason society has rules. Societies have rules because that's what allows a group of people to live together. Rules that benefit the individual, and the group. Without those rules, society begins to break down. Religion as a tool for child-rearing is a poor substitute for understanding the basics of how a society works.

Save the religion until a child is old enough to make up their own mind as to what they want to believe.

reply to post by seeker1963


Gosh sorry if I come across as pushy with my opinions, this is not my intent, maybe I just got a bit excited! I never accused anyone of abuse BTW just wanted to clear that up!

Klassified
I disagree 100%. Religion is not by any means a good foundation for teaching right and wrong. A good way to teach right and wrong is to show them. In word and deed. To help them understand there is a reason society has rules. Societies have rules because that's what allows a group of people to live together. Rules that benefit the individual, and the group. Without those rules, society begins to break down. Religion as a tool for child-rearing is a poor substitute for understanding the basics of how a society works.

Save the religion until a child is old enough to make up their own mind as to what they want to believe.

And explain that to a 5-year-old ... or even a 6 or 7-year-old and you get a blank stare.

Early on, it's easier to use religion for a reason why than complex explanations of society.

You and I can talk complicated social reasons, but we're adults.

reply to post by Scouse100

Gosh sorry if I come across as pushy with my opinions, this is not my intent, maybe I just got a bit excited! I never accused anyone of abuse BTW just wanted to clear that up!

No reason to be sorry!


I was just trying to point out some obvious flaws on how we think towards each other when it comes to our individual freedoms!

Touchy subject, I know, but it is how WE deal with it as adults versus turning our childrens live over to the government that will make or break this country.....

Sounds like a crock to me.
Maybe the kids that didn't get spanked weren't doing anything to merit punishment?
I've broken more laws than I have bones in my body but that has zero to do with my parents treatment of me. They were always patient, understanding, supporting and if necessary tanned my butt.
The only thing they could have done better is spanked me more often.
They let way too much slide...

reply to post by ketsuko

And explain that to a 5-year-old ... or even a 6 or 7-year-old and you get a blank stare.

Early on, it's easier to use religion for a reason why than complex explanations of society.

You and I can talk complicated social reasons, but we're adults.

We don't try to explain to our grand daughter how a society works. We teach her right from wrong on a case by case basis. We talk to her on her level. As she gets older, we up the level. We show her in word and deed, the right way to go. But the fundamentals we use come from understanding how a society works. Not how a religion works. Using religion does not teach sound principles of social etiquette, and why they are there.

seeker1963
reply to post by Scouse100

 

Gosh sorry if I come across as pushy with my opinions, this is not my intent, maybe I just got a bit excited! I never accused anyone of abuse BTW just wanted to clear that up!

No reason to be sorry!

I was just trying to point out some obvious flaws on how we think towards each other when it comes to our individual freedoms!

Touchy subject, I know, but it is how WE deal with it as adults versus turning our childrens live over to the government that will make or break this country.....

OK yes I do get what you mean, I guess it can be difficult to discuss actions like these which despite being within a persons rights (although I think our laws on this here in the UK differ from yours), on a personal level one may disagree with. I do still think it is healthy to discuss whether we agree with such laws and rights as they stand. I have a feeling we would disagree on that though

reply to post by Scouse100

Surely smacking a child also sends a signal that is is OK to smack, children look to their parents as an example.

If my dad ever saw me smack one of my friends, he would have beat my ass.
I knew that only a parent was allowed to spank

That said, I never spanked my son. He did turn out to be an awesome young man, although he did do a short time incarcerated....stuff happens.