College Students More Likely to Be Lawbreakers If Spanked as Children

WeRpeons
reply to post by wildtimes

 

No, I think kids not being spanked has proven without a doubt, created a generation of lazy, disrespectful, rude, violent, inconsiderate, and incompetent young adults. My apologies to those in that generation, who had enough sense to realize and avoid the negative and poor attitudes of their generation.

I wholeheartedly agree!!! Thank you.

I'm going to just call this entire study bunk. The thing that irks me about this entire debate, is one solid fact that people don't seem to care to even think about. There's no true one way to raise a child. Why?? Because there's TOO MANY factors in play. What many forget, is that children absorb everything from those around them. You have to factor in every person they know, and learn from.

Now, people have friends. Normally, certain personality types attract similar personality types. So not only do children absorb their families personalities, but also their friends. So much around these kids to absorb, and they do.

Yes, there will be people who will never spank their child. They're good people, polite, proper. The people they know are similar in attitudes. So, the child absorbs their personality traits, and becomes that same way. Will those people ever have to spank their child?? Probably not.

Then, there are people like me. I'm a brat. I like to joke, to tease, to hop from around corners to scare people, play little pranks, be a smart aleck, all sorts of things that many love, but others can't stand. My family is truly no different. Now I have no children, but I've grown up around kids my whole life, so I've seen how they absorb people's personalities around them. So many of the kids in my family, are brats. Plenty of times it's funny, but other times you need to keep them in check. Yes, talking always happens first, explaining to them what they're doing is wrong. But in the end, if they refuse to listen, then they get a poppin'. I'm a firm believer in the poppin'.

From there, not only do you have to factor in all the personality types that the children are absorbing, you now have to factor in how they were raised. I can use my own life as an example. I'm 34, and my brother is 30. Now growing up, I got spanked a lot. Sure, there were plenty of times I had it coming, but a good majority of the time I got in trouble for things my brother did. He was spoiled rotten, would never get in trouble unless he REALLY did something bad.

I learned that there are repercussions to what you do. Cause, and affect. If I did something bad, I would get in trouble. When I was a young teen, sure, I stole. But, one day, I saw my friend get caught. I stopped right there, because I saw the repercussion. I learned to take responsibility for any of my actions, got myself out of trouble if I ever got in it, and learned to stand on my own two feet. Now, I'm no rich person or anything, but I'm a manager at a local store, living on my own, with a good woman at my side, making decent money, and living happily. With my bratty start, the spankings helped keep me straightened up.

Now for my brother. Because he rarely got in trouble, he learned he never truly had to take responsibility for his actions. He's gotten in tons of trouble after he turned 18, drank constantly, and his favorite slogan among friends was "I do what I want!". He's 30 years old, and has 3 children. But, my mother has custody of those children. He's living with her, has no job, doesn't do a very good job of being a father, and rather than accept any personal responsibility for where he's at in his life, he looks for nothing but excuses. He's always been given excuses, and now he looks hard for them. Sure, he is going to school to get in the medical field, but he refuses to work and go to school, because "it's too hard". Long story short, he didn't get disciplined like he should of as a child, and this is how he turned out.

The point I'm truly trying to get at, is there's no true way to determine how a person will grow, because there's too many factors. Some children need to be disciplined. Some don't. Some need a poppin'. Some don't. I can honestly say, those who believe a child should never be spanked, have never raised a child from my family. If they had kept them for a year, sure, they may still not spank them, but I can promise you, the thought WILL cross their minds. XD

I always loved the show Malcolm in the Middle, because it honestly truly reminds me of my family. My mom also struck the fear in us like that. lol

Montana
But a swat on the butt when called for is still the most effective way to teach appropriate behavior. And I have seen it in action and the end result in people's lives.

I totally disagree. Surely it is more effective to teach a child why what they are doing is wrong rather than just making them scared to do it as they will get a whack. And what happens when you're not around to smack them? I hope my LO will understand that hitting another child for example is wrong as it will hurt them rather than just not doing it as she fears a smack from me. Just like the reason I don't go around mugging old ladies is not because I am scared of going to prison!

Surely smacking a child also sends a signal that is is OK to smack, children look to their parents as an example.

reply to post by Necrobile

Some don't. I can honestly say, those who believe a child should never be spanked, have never raised a child from my family.

You brought up some good points!

One I would like to add as well, is that how many kids that misbehave today and grow up in a household that does NOT believe in spankings become victims of the mental health system and all of the drugs that are pushed down their throats? How do those drugs effect their future behavior and health???

Look at ADD! By brother couldn't sit still or keep his mouth shut growing up and he got a whoopin to calm him down and bring him back to reality. NO DRUGS! Today he is healthy, never been arrested, doesn't do drugs or drink alcohol, he is what you would call a model citizen.

Sad the amount of people whom feel that a spanking is barbaric, but yet they willingly allow psychotropic drugs to be pumped down their childrens throats........

Scouse100

Montana
But a swat on the butt when called for is still the most effective way to teach appropriate behavior. And I have seen it in action and the end result in people's lives.

I totally disagree. Surely it is more effective to teach a child why what they are doing is wrong rather than just making them scared to do it as they will get a whack. And what happens when you're not around to smack them? I hope my LO will understand that hitting another child for example is wrong as it will hurt them rather than just not doing it as she fears a smack from me. Just like the reason I don't go around mugging old ladies is not because I am scared of going to prison!

Surely smacking a child also sends a signal that is is OK to smack, children look to their parents as an example.

Do you have any kids? And were you personally spanked as a child? I'm honestly curious.

reply to post by daryllyn


Hi, yes I have a very strong willed toddler and another one on the way. I was smacked on one occasion when I was about 6 if I recall.

Scouse100

I totally disagree. Surely it is more effective to teach a child why what they are doing is wrong rather than just making them scared to do it as they will get a whack. And what happens when you're not around to smack them? I hope my LO will understand that hitting another child for example is wrong as it will hurt them rather than just not doing it as she fears a smack from me. Just like the reason I don't go around mugging old ladies is not because I am scared of going to prison!

Surely smacking a child also sends a signal that is is OK to smack, children look to their parents as an example.

That is fine, I don't require or even desire for you to follow my suggestions. I have SEEN the results over decades. I KNOW what works and what doesn't.

Best wishes to you and yours. What matters most is to make sure they know you love them no matter what.

reply to post by Montana


Fair enough, and same to you

reply to post by Montana

That is fine, I don't require or even desire for you to follow my suggestions. I have SEEN the results over decades. I KNOW what works and what doesn't.

Best wishes to you and yours. What matters most is to make sure they know you love them no matter what.

Star for that response and I think you brought up one of the MOST important thing to this topic!

Just because person A disagrees with person B, does that give person A the right to petition the government to change the rules for everyone?

Look at our education system today, it is a "one size fits all" that does nothing to address the differences in every child that is there to learn.

Children need to be disciplined and it should be up to the PARENTS to pick which works for them the best! NOT the government OR the schools or Psychiatrists!

Your freedom ends when you push your ideology to prevent me from living my life the way I choose.......

reply to post by wildtimes

This article talks about spanking at age ten. At that age it's not 'spanking' ... rather it's 'hitting'. 'Spanking' ends at age five. Studies have shown that any 'spanking' (really - hitting) that happens after the child turns five is just going to grow resentment and defiance in the child. It will do more harm than anything else. (that's somewhere in my child psychology books but I"m not in the mood to go digging through them to find it).

reply to post by interupt42

Is this the result that more kids spanked as children go to college and therefore the more likelihood of them to engage in a negative manner? So it would be beneficial to spank your kids in order to increase their changes to get them to college.

This is a very good point. LOL

No.

It isn't that "most kids who were spanked go to college."
EVERY ADOLESCENT needs to (has to) rebel against their upringing, to fully mature. This includes rebellion. Just like it is with little kids (toddlers, grade-school kids, etc)...their job is to 'differentiate' themselves from the parents. If it doesn't happen when they're kids, it will happen when they are adults....
and if it doesn't, they wind up being immature people all their lives.

Depends on when the spanking occurs imo. Before school it makes sense if you are teaching boundaries. After school age? You've failed. Too late. Kids need to be taught boundaries and consequence. Tell a 3 yo that if they stick a fork in the socket that they could die. Huh? A 3 yo doesn't know what death is. They sure know what a smack on the ass is though. And as has been said, what happens later in life with a child that never learned boundaries? They learn as adults what they should have learned as toddlers.

reply to post by intrepid

Before school it makes sense if you are teaching boundaries.

Yes, ....

IF it's crossing the street in front of oncoming traffic.

NOT if the kid reaches into the cookie jar while you're watching.

reply to post by wildtimes

EVERY ADOLESCENT needs to (has to) rebel against their upringing, to fully mature.

What about those whom perhaps don't get the discipline they needed to understand that making the wrong choice has a bad consequence? Maybe that explains why America has more people incarcerated than any other country? (disregarding the drug laws)

I am not disagreeing with you that some children learn perfectly fine by having their XBOX taken away from them, but you are falling into a "one size fits all" ideology of raising a child!

I got whoopins and sure they hurt, but that pain was mild compared to the fact my behavior caused my parent to have to resort to giving me a few cracks on my ass and I had to see the hurt on their face for doing what they did in the name of teaching me right from wrong! That hurt me more than anything!!!! I made a bad choice, and I forced them to punish me for it! I also might add, I have NEVER been arrested! Why? I learned that making a bad choice, has bad consequences!

They are ALL different! What may work for your child, may not work for someone else!

Montana said it the best on his/her response. Which was basically, you do what is best for yours, and I will do what is best for mine......

reply to post by seeker1963

What about those whom perhaps don't get the discipline they needed to understand that making the wrong choice has a bad consequence? Maybe that explains why America has more people incarcerated than any other country?

What makes you think that beating/hitting someone is the 'only disciplne that will make them see'?

No. The incarceration, in fact, is due to the abusive parenting of inept parents.




Okay,


I have to leave this thread now, folks.

(Beating/hitting/spanking kids is not necessary to raise well-behaved youngsters.)
Carry on.

wildtimes
(Beating/hitting/spanking kids is not necessary to raise well-behaved youngsters.)
Carry on.

We already tried that. It doesn't work. See today's society.

reply to post by intrepid

We already tried that. It doesn't work. See today's society.

Erm, yes. We did already try that. And....
it DID work.

What you 'see' of today's society is filtered through media outlets that harp on "the ME generation".

It's propaganda.
But,
nm

reply to post by wildtimes

What makes you think that beating/hitting someone is the 'only disciplne that will make them see'?

No. The incarceration, in fact, is due to the abusive parenting of inept parents.

All of the above is an opinion! What proof do you have that "spanking" a child makes a parent abusive and inept at parenting and children whom are spanked end up incarcerated????? Perhaps children whom get their asses kicked for no reason might fit your description, but I beg to differ that a spanking in the name of teaching right from wrong and getting your ass kicked for no reason are one and the same!

Myself and my brother have already proved your theory wrong, along with a few other posters on this thread!

Also, using the terms "beating/hitting" do not equal spanking!

You might want to separate the terms, unless of course you feel your beliefs on parenting are better than those whom believe differently than you do! In that case, welcome to our screwed up world!

One size DOES NOT FIT ALL!

wildtimes
What you 'see' of today's society is filtered through media outlets that harp on "the ME generation".

It's propaganda.
But,
nm

So I should discount what I see for what the media is telling me? I don't think so. I've lived through the "beat the living # out of your kids" era. Through the "don't touch your kids" era and I'll tell you that the latter is not only bad for the individual, it's bad for society. The former sucks too but I think there is a common ground between the two where it all makes sense.

intrepid
Depends on when the spanking occurs imo. Before school it makes sense if you are teaching boundaries. After school age? You've failed. Too late. Kids need to be taught boundaries and consequence. Tell a 3 yo that if they stick a fork in the socket that they could die. Huh? A 3 yo doesn't know what death is. They sure know what a smack on the ass is though. And as has been said, what happens later in life with a child that never learned boundaries? They learn as adults what they should have learned as toddlers.

There are other ways to prevent a toddler from sticking a fork in a socket though until they can fully understand the possible consequences! My toddler is about as strong willed and active as they come and I have managed to prevent her doing this without physically punishing her.

reply to post by wildtimes


It's more of a two-fold problem really. Notice how the rise in incarceration happens to coincide with the rise of profiteering prisons? There are more laws added to the books all the time, there is not a person alive that knows nearly all of them. Couple that with some bad parenting, and you get what we have today.

As for spanking(not beating, obviously a difference), I say it does work, but only when kids are too young to reason. ~5 years old, kids start understanding things, and spanking is only going to be a form of humiliation from that point on. It is a lot better to make kids understand why what they are doing is wrong, and also teach them a better way of going about what they are trying to accomplish. Obviously there are some exceptions, some things there is no right way, and it should just not be done.