I was recently accused by someone close to me of being "...a case of arrested development."
On first impression, I would be considered by most a little immature for my age. Hoodies, Dickies, t-shirts, and Chucks or flip flops is my normal
attire. Yes I dress like a high school kid and I'll be 40 one day soon. I deal and play poker for a living. I don't have a house, a car payment, or
If this were someone I didn't know, I would just laugh at them.
At her I laughed harder.
What I told this person (things that she already knows, but I guess didn't consider before flapping her gums) was that I had already achieved the
'adult' mentality and that it freaked me out. I tried to live the way we're 'supposed' to live. I chased the money and the stuff. I tried to find
someone to live happily ever after and breed with. I was very unhappy. I couldn't operate within a set of rules that didn't make any sense, in a
common sense way, and which were obviously weighted in favor of the few, a group to whom I probably would never belong. I haven't had a bank account
in 7 years now, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I told her that I was not a case of arrested development, but rather one of intentional, purposed self-regression. That the more I was able to see the
world through the eyes of a child, the more I saw, as if seeing for the first time. That the less I feared/'respected' the opinions of my peers, the
so called 'adults', the more free I was to do and be what I needed to be when I needed to be. And that the less I feared death, the more I was free to
I have a penchant for the dramatic. Anyway, this is a very truncated and clear version of the actual conversation, but the main points are covered.
She thought that what she heard was very important, that she'd never actually seen it that way, and now she wants to tell everyone, but she's really
screwing it up. It's funny to watch.
edit on 22-11-2013 by Mon1k3r because: new and improved