Buddhist Extremist Cell Vows To Unleash Tranquility On West

www.theonion.com...

WASHINGTON—In a 45-minute video posted on Tibetan websites Thursday, Tsuglag Rinpoche, leader of the Buddhist extremist group Kammaṭṭhāna, threatened to soon inflict a wave of peace and tranquility on the West.

Speaking in front of a nondescript altar surrounded by candles, burning sticks of incense, and a small golden statue of the Buddha, Rinpoche did not specify when or where an assault of profound inner stillness would occur, but stated in no uncertain terms that the fundamentalist Buddhist cell plans to target all Western suffering.

“In the name of the Great Teacher, we will stop at nothing to unleash a firestorm of empathy, compassion, and true selflessness upon the West,” said Rinpoche, adding that all enemies of a freely flowing, unfettered state of mind will be “besieged with pure, everlasting happiness.” “No city will be spared from spiritual harmony. We will bring about the end to all Western pain and anxiety, to all destructive cravings, to all greed, delusion, and misplaced desire. Indeed, we will bring the entire United States to its knees in deep meditation.”

One can only dream....

The Onion is not real news, it is meant as comedy.

reply to post by alfa1


Brilliant. Bravo.

reply to post by trollz


I'm thinking the OP knows that - hence the reason for the post. Point is what is lacking in this crazy world IS a sense of humor.

Imagine what it would be like if we'd all lighten up a bit!

Lol. The emperor has no clothes. A shining example of what organized religion doesn't offer. The video makes me picture the ot God talking like this about Isreal's enemies.
"I shall send a spirit among them, unto their first born, and it shall be made of....CANDY"

reply to post by trollz


Wow, trollz really do have no sense of humour. Poor trollz.

reply to post by alfa1


That's gold.

On so many levels.

i know all about the Onion but I still wanted to star and flag this post because even as satire, it is most excellent. Why can't I S&F this thread so others can explore it, then praise it or laugh at it?

I had a thread such as this moved to the Lol Forum once.

Apparently (and sadly), peace and optimism is a ludicrous online lie.

abovetopsecret.com

I say bring it!!

We'll bomb bard those good natured hippies with so much Miley Cyrus, Kardashians, and Barbra Streisand, they'll never make it to the god gate!

To mess with America is to step in taint that'll never wash off!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!!

reply to post by FyreByrd


I guess satre is not allowed or at least our personal opinions on it are not allowed.

reply to post by FyreByrd


*showers FyreByrd in nyquil, zanax, valium, and a whole turkey*

calm down !!!!!!!

OMG! I love the Onion - always good stuff!
thanks for posting the article

xox
-kissy

Oh that is brilliant!

an Extremist Buddhist.

rotflmao

reply to post by FyreByrd

....threatened to soon inflict a wave of peace and tranquility on the West.

Peace and Tranquility!!! IT BURNS!!!!! GET IT AWAY!

winofiend
reply to post by FyreByrd

 

*showers FyreByrd in nyquil, zanax, valium, and a whole turkey*

calm down !!!!!!!

LOL - but damn - I just wanted to lighten the place up (myself included) and this just made my day.