reply to post by cody599
I'm no expert, I'm no psychologist, I can only share my thoughts and views on this.
Girls are usually more attached to their father, just like boys tend to feel closer to their mothers.
Girls need a father figure in their life, a strong protective male person that they can lean back on. It's hard to explain, but they seek the safety
and feeling of protection from their father through their life. That you missed so many years of her childhood, probably made her feel like she had to
be that strong figure herself. Making her feel alone.
Separations where children are involved are always difficult, and in most cases someone always gets hurt.
Now, the question is, why haven't you seen her for so long? Was it your ex that didn't want you to? Was it your choice? Was there another reason for
it? Whatever the reason might have been, it is important that you talk it through with your daughter.
She most likely, as a lot of children do, end up blaming herself for you not "wanting" to be with her.
As a woman myself, I know girls are very deep thinkers when it comes to relationships, both with family members and with partners. When something
isn't going right, even the smallest little thing, they seek a reason why, an understanding, and a lot of it ends up being them blaming themselves in
situations that they did not have anything to do with.
You need to SHOW her you care, not just tell her in a phone text. Go to her, talk to her, and most importantly, let her speak!
It may be hard to hear how she feels about all of this, but let her speak out and just listen. Never raise your voice, never interrupt her, do not get
mad at what she might say. Just listen to her. Show understanding for her feelings. She misses her father, you need to show her you love her and
always will be her father, and if the reason you haven't met her for so long is a mistake on your side, apologize to her, and tell her why things
went the way they did. It must have a reason after all.
Now, she will most likely not run into your arms and immediately forget everything. It will be a long and slow journey to win her trust back. But
it's a start, and depending on what she says, you can make small steps regularly to show how much she means to you, and that you want to make up for
these lost years. With patience, it is possible to heal this relationship between you two.