posted on Nov, 16 2013 @ 10:50 AM
If wine is representative of the blood of Christ, then I suppose the Vampire would get drunk.
Lets look at the things that Jesus and Vampires have in common BECAUSE I think Jesus was a Vampire.
- He died on a crucifix. Crucifixes are harmful to Vamps.
- Pontius Pilot tried to stake him through the heart, but the crucifix was too high, so he had to attempt to stake his heart through the ribs but
failed. Apparently Jesus still died, but then he rose from the dead didn't he.
- Drink the blood of a vampire and you become a vampire, and live forever.
- Drink the blood of Christ and you'll live forever as well.
- Imagine using your vampire flying powers to walk on water.
- Jesus was an accomplished carpenter. Hey you don't wanna trust your airtight, sunlight-proof coffin to shody workmanship. I guess he built his own.
- It took 20 men to roll that damn rock in front of the cave that they buried him in. It only took one Vampire to push it back out.
- Jesus walks into a bar and slams 3 nails on the table and says to the barman "Hey, can you put me up for the night". Oops I'm going to H#LL for
- if Vampires were to have a last supper for a condemned friend, would they celebrate by drinking blood from cups, or would they drink blood straight
from the source. How many exposed throats are there in that infamous painting. I'm definately going to H#LL.
- Finally an apology to any devout Christians out there who've taken offence to such blasphemous words of mine. Sometimes when enemies find parables
in each other, ie, finding out that people have more in common with their enemies, then a truce may soon follow.