posted on Nov, 18 2013 @ 11:59 AM
How to deal with loneliness..
Well, it can be a tough one, thats for sure.
Long story short, I got a serious illness which limited my ability to go out. In the following years, friends dropped like flies because it was too
much effort. At this point, I see 1-2 different people once or so a week and I am not able to drive anywhere because of pain and seizures.
So, after a couple of years, I had to face the facts.
One; Those people still in my life care so much about me, and I them, that it doesnt matter what is between us. We will find a way to spend time
together and nothing can stand in the way of that.
Two; Pets help, for the most part. Having a puppy will make you wish for quiet.. but having them in your life can make a huge difference.
Three; Trying to find yourself in the company of another leads to little more than disappointment. Not that it cant be done, but it can be done with
more clarity on your own. Then, instead of looking for someone to "complete" you, you simply are looking for someone who can make your time even
Four; There is SO MUCH going on around us at any given time. Even just in your own breath or your own heartbeat, or the wind rustling the leaves.
Focusing on these things can raise awareness and many other benefits.
Five; There is always someone out there feeling just like you. Use your imagination to connect and spend time with them. Yeah, it sounds silly, but
it does help. And who knows, maybe that other person can feel it too.
Really, there is a lot to learn from loneliness. In my case, I had to face the idea that my social status (so to speak) was unlikely to ever change
despite my young(er) age. I am unable to go out and meet people, and it is unlikely that someone new to my life would want to take on any of the
baggage. Finding a woman to spend my life with is even more unlikely than finding just a new friend. Its a competitive field, and my body is
But, and this was the hard part for me, that's ok. Its easy to get caught up in the grass always being greener on the other side, but thats
not always the case. There are pros and cons to these situations, and they seem to balance out in a lot of ways. Even though I will probably never
have children either, I can still leave my legacy to the world in my work. I can still "accomplish" the same cultural goals that have been
instilled into me, but I might have to take a different avenue.
And that leads to the biggest question I eventually asked myself; "What is keeping me back from accomplishing those things, other than my thinking
that they *require* social norms to be carried out?" I think you just have to be a bit more creative in the way you leave your "legacy" in the
world. I want my existence to benefit others, even if its people who otherwise would want nothing to do with me. This is typically done through how
we teach our children, and the impacts they will make. But I really do believe we can accomplish that same goal even if it doesnt fulfill that primal
need to continue our bloodline. And for just friends, I guess I consider the people in my life special enough that I am fulfilled in that arena.
In the end, it was all just a matter of choosing how I wanted to look at it. I changed my perspective, and my situation stayed the same but the way I
handled it changed. It was simple, but not easy, like so many things in life.