reply to post by TKDRL
Hey Guy . . .
However, feelings are only information. They can be useful, encouraging or destructive.
Feelings are NOT
. . .
. . .
or even sex, though they can enhance or detract from sex.
You can obsess over them and give them more power to be destructive.
Or, you can look at them like a rock you might pick up . . . turn it over and look at all sides; break it apart and look at the inside . . . and lay
Or, you can bemoan how the rock must be poisonous and is certainly going to destroy you in some paranoid fantasy sort of way.
It can be useful to feel the feelings clearly then lay them aside.
FEELINGS MAKE A TOLERABLE SERVANT AND A TERRIBLE SLAVE MASTER.
Put them in their place--even if you have to RESIST ruminating over them 10 times a minute. Eventually, IF you persist diligently enough at the
ignoring their terrorizing you--you'll resist them in a disciplined enough way to neuter their terrorizing of your thought processes.
IT WAS HELPFUL FOR ME at the end of my worst and longest long dark night of the soul--about 5 years, IIRC--to begin to reach out--DOING caring things
toward others even if it was only a friendly word and smile to folks on the street who looked sad or harried.
Ditto visiting lonely people in the hospital.
Volunteering helping with amputees etc.
WE FEEL BEST ABOUT OURSELVES WHEN WE DO GOOD THINGS THAT WE KNOW ARE ADMIRABLE.
Folks who put you down for being born in the USA or for whatever other shallow reason are probably not worth your time and bother anyway.
It IS sad that there are SOOOOOOOOO FEW AUTHENTIC, WORTHY, FAITHFUL, LASTING, SOLID FRIENDSHIPS of almost any kind--sadly--too often, even in the BEST
churches. Sheesh what has happened to people?
Oh, right, the globalist oligarchy has been working hard to shred all older notions of faithfulness, integrity, diligence, loyalty etc. in
relationships for more than 60 years--VERY EFFECTIVELY.
And, MOST CRITICALLY--THEIR EFFORTS HAVE MADE
ATTACHMENT DISORDER RAMPANT
which has resulted in a culture globally of
. . . ORPHANS . . . .
Orphans are desperately only interested in cobbling together their own security and provision. They have no capacity to TRUST OTHERS--whether that be
you or anyone else. And, you are likely just as much an orphan in mentality, emotions, psycho-dynamics as the rest of us.
Again, see this thread and the book referred to therein:
As to your larger question of what to do about loneliness . . .
AT some level, everyone on the planet is alone in their own skin. Even identical twins speaking a special language can FEEL alone and in many
existential senses, be alone.
It is part of the human condition. Personally, I think that is part of what is designed to drive us to seek fellowship with God--that which we were
Regardless . . .
We can wallow in self-pity over our aloneness or do WHAT WE CAN to help lessen it.
I don't know of a perfect answer.
I only know some things that work. AS I noted--reaching out to those I see even on the street--who are lonely or discouraged etc. . . . hospitals, old
folks' homes, orphanages. But, please, don't do any heavy duty bonding with anyone unless you are willing to follow through for a few years as much as
possible. Don't be Lucy with Linus and the football.
And, one of the BETTER personally rewarding things is to take some craft or art class at the local Jr College or some such where you CAN DO SOMETHING
WITH YOUR HANDS and thereby see a useful or beautiful product of your personhood and skills.
AND DOING SO IN THE SOCIAL CONTEXT WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS DOES HELP LESSEN THE LONELINESS A LOT.
PLEASE avoid such notions as 'ending it all.' That's not productive and really could be an avenue for greater pain and disappointment than you can
imagine. Talk to someone--even a help line--whatever to avoid that.
No one else on the planet or in all creation has your unique perspective on life and reality. That's priceless. Avoid robbing the rest of us, of that,
Anyway--you are welcome to toss the above, if you see fit.
I just care and am offering my perspective in the hopes that some bits of it might be useful &/or encouraging to you.
In terms of marriage etc., the following is one of the BEST articles I've EVER read on the topic. Perhaps there's an insight or two in
it that could be useful to you in your ponderings:
edit on 9/11/2013 by BO XIAN because: added