Am I Nuts ?

Well, I have no major problems to worrie about but I have many things to lose.

Let me try to explain: I have a beautiful family that I love and love me beyhond anything, I am in good health, not rich but no financial problems at the moment, not a mansion but a confortable house to live in, many good friends,...... a nice life overall.

However, I have this permanent feeling that a minute can change everything because I know that nothing lasts forever. The problem is this feeling stops me to be as happy as I could be because I fear that the moment I trully show the real hapiness in my heart, the world will punish me by greed/envy.

Funny thing is this mainly started after my daughters were born and I began to think more and more on the idea of losing. Now this is getting so strong that I think of any possible step/decision that can totally change things in my life, making me harder and harder to decide a lot of situations.

For those who are struggling with all kind of problems/situations in their lives this may sound arrogant and stupid and maybe it is, but I also had very difficult situations in my life and when I was deep down I think I used to have a more positive aproach to life in general than I have now because things were so bad that I had only 2 ways to go: Death (which is certain for everyone) or UP for the better, but now it`s different because I have a lot more to lose ( I`m talking emotionally as I don´t care much about material stuff) than to gain.

So, am I nuts for thinking this way ?

reply to post by CosmicDude


Really, you're not nuts for worrying about losing your children. The real problem is trying to balance the worry of losing with your everyday life and work. If you feel that you have problems with the balance, maybe you could think of visiting a therapist and talk about it with someone trained in these sorts of things? Since we've brought our second child into the world, I sometimes get the same feelings, but for the most part I'm balancing them fine myself.. its mainly the financials that worry me

reply to post by CosmicDude


No, you just care! And you realise that you have something to lose now which is not just based around you alone. Quite normal, dude.

reply to post by kingofyo1


Thank you for your reply. It was very helpfull to read it. Yes, you`r absolutly right abouth that balance one should have. Overall I think I have that balance, but there are moments I really strugle to have it.

reply to post by CosmicDude


We all have to strive to maintain the balance! Its hardly ever easy, especially with having children and a family to support! but everyone is pulling for you remember that!

reply to post by CosmicDude

Make a choice to consciously take survey of the great things in your life everyday when you get out of bed. Then make a choice to be happy about those things. It won't be easy at first, but if you'll do the hard part, the easy part will come. You have to change your focus to what you want. Not what you don't want.

So often we don't realize that our focus on what we do not want, is the very way we sabotage ourselves. Allow yourself to be happy about the good in your life. You deserve it. You earned it. Enjoy it. Be aware of those things that can go wrong, but keep your focus on those things that have and do go right.

reply to post by skalla


Well , it`s normal to care but maybe not when you "fight" to have certain decisions based on what can/might happen step-by-step, lol

reply to post by Klassified


Thank you for your post and advices. Maybe I should try to follow it instead of thinking to much on all possibilities that might happen if you go this or that way.

reply to post by CosmicDude


YES, you are nuts for thinking about anything.
As soon as you get past this hangup you will be fine!
Living well is the best revenge against anyone who might seek to harm you.

Your situation is very familiar. I went through bad times, and for a long time never thought I'd make it to 40. Now I'm 43, with a beautiful wife and kids, though my job could be better. I often think that just one little incident could ruin it all. In fact, I've often caught myself testing this theory. Recently, I've been learning to see that I earned my happiness by fighting my demons in the past and coming out a better person for it. I also do my best to focus on the present, and trust in the future. What will be will be.

I very much believe in our consciousness shaping our reality. Fear and worry are a definite no-no.

soulwaxer

g146541
reply to post by CosmicDude

 

YES, you are nuts for thinking about anything.
As soon as you get past this hangup you will be fine!
Living well is the best revenge against anyone who might seek to harm you.

Good someone agrees I`m nuts. It feels I can judge myself afterall, LOL

reply to post by soulwaxer


So you do know the feeling .....Yeah, I try to think on the present but I often think about the future. Crazy as we never know if we do have a future, so why think of it ?

Something that I've learned (now take note that at the ripe age of twenty one, I have no acquired a wealth of experience and knowledge just quite yet, I am honestly still just beginning) throughout life so far is that you have to take some things in the moment to be happy. Now, there are plenty of things in life that you HAVE to think ahead for but there are also moments that you do have to live in the moment to fully experience them and treasure them later on. Such moments like spending time with a loved one, playing with your kids, or just doing things with a significant other.

Visiting a grandmother or parent? Think about that single moment and become a deep part of the experience and try not to think of other things that are coming because sometimes, those will be out of your control anyway.

Playing a game with your kids or even just watching television with them or reading to them? Live in that moment. Enjoy it fully and try not to think of anything else. Let yourself feel and indulge in this. They won't be kids forever, you know. Before you know it, they'll be graduating from high school, graduating from college, or getting married. Treasure their childhood and be a big part of the fun.

Spending time with a significant other even if it's just taking a stroll? Live within that moment and give yourself to them emotionally totally. Sure, things MAY happen to make that go away in the future. You MAY lose them, but why worry about it now? For that moment, it's just the two of you and you're enjoying a beautiful day and each other's company.


I guess what I'm trying to get at is sure, worry a bit about the future and how things COULD happen, but also try your best to not miss the forest for the trees. Living life in the moment sometimes and just taking it for what it is without concern is what you need to do to have a meaningful time. Trust me, you'll be a lot happier this way and things will have been just that more important in the end. And if things go wrong? Well, you still have that wealth of memories to keep you going and to help you move through life under any circumstances.

reply to post by Myomistress


Great post, thank you. I wish I could think the way you do when I was your age !

I prefer to live the moment rather than take photos. I don`t like to watch old photo albuns and remember the past, so I often "take photos" in my mind when I`m living those kind of moments you mention in your post. I notice every single detail not only in visual but also in the sensitive way.

reply to post by CosmicDude




Do you fall into the :-

My glass is half empty or my glass is half full type of guy? Rather than saying " I still

have half a glass!


As the late John Lennon said >>> Life is what happens while you're busy making

plans ....

Thinking that showing happiness will be the cause of losing that happiness amounts to religious programming. Shake that stuff off.....the world is fine with you being happy. The ones who aren't...no one cares about them anyway.

reply to post by CosmicDude






Oh DO take photos, lots of them, They are a good reminder when you get

to my age. You think you'll never forget - and you don't but when you get older

and your children are grown it's a wonderful visual reminder

eletheia
reply to post by CosmicDude

 

Do you fall into the :-

My glass is half empty or my glass is half full type of guy? Rather than saying " I still

have half a glass!


As the late John Lennon said >>> Life is what happens while you're busy making

plans ....

... I confess that I am one of those guys. Also the kind of guy that makes lots of plans....and I hate myself for being this way

reply to post by CosmicDude


As a businessman, personally, i can tell you this: Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

It is the mantra of the successful person.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


You know what ? ....I think you`r right