I'm running out of energy

Well - I tried pretty hard to make a difference in the world, to help promote a place where people of all different walks of life, religions, sexual orientations, men, women, people with autism, different political orientations, all of them, could celebrate their differences and feel free to be themselves in public and embrace some of the most important things about being human - happiness, freedom and real human connection.

But it looks lie for all the thinking I did, and the writing I did, and whatever (lol I'm not sure I could make a difference, but I sure as hell tried hard) we've actually moved backwards as a country since 2008.

There is more division, more hatred, more fear, I swear that racism and sexism and homophobia have increased, and our constitutional rights are becoming so minimal that people seem to be afraid of being themselves for fear of being arrested. Our economy is still sunk.

About the privacy issue, and the free speech issue, and the freedom of assembly issue, and the 5th amendment issue, and the 4th amendment issue, and the freedom of press issue where Snowden is being tracked down, Assange is in exile in an Ecuadorian embassy, Michael Hastings was assassinated, and Citizens United (that Jimmy Carter in a recent interview said was directly involved in our political polarization as of late) allows corporations to pump unlimited money into political campaigns -

Meanwhile, news outlets like Fox news, talk radio, MSNBC, all of them spew out literal lies to the point where a debate on an issue isn't even possible because finding out the facts isn't even possible!

The N.S.A. has been spying on allied countries in Europe, for example, listening to around 70 million civilian calls a month in France and spying on the German Chancellor, yet Obama downplays it, maybe it has been going on all along but the honest truth -

That Federal agencies and law enforcement agencies are using roving wiretaps and roving internet spying techniques against the 4th amendment (which says a warrant is required on a specific person and place for information to be gathered) against common criminals, and then rewriting their reports in order to make it look like they got the information legitimately - the fact that there are so many laws that it is nearly impossible not to break them - that the political parties are so out there that every single one of us is a target of someone -

How the hell did we go so backwards in less than 5 years? It's just ridiculous. I can't do anything about it, I can't even find coherent and accurate information about what's going on.

I've had a few hard circumstances come my way lately, as a matter of fact, I'm currently officially listed as homeless, which I find damages my self-esteem a bit and is quite embarrassing - even my incoherent posts lately are embarrassing - but it's due to stress and all, hopefully I'll pull myself together by the end of the month.

Don't worry by the way, I'm looking after myself and getting things in order, I just have to fight a dumb legal battle involving... a questionable police department (I just don't know if it is corrupt or not well trained or what, corrupt doesn't seem appropriate as it implies they are trying to do bad things), move into my new apartment (which I was able to get out of pure luck after the said police raid set off a series of ridiculous circumstances), get another job, all kinds of stuff like that.

Oh god... my stuff is scattered all over the Pacific Northwest until I get it into one place, too -

darkbake
I'm running out of energy

How do we know for sure your really running out of energy....maybe your just trying too panic everyone into thinking energy supplies are low , so that it drives up the price

reply to post by darkbake


Hang in there Buddy.....sorry to hear you have fallen on bad times.

Hell, our country as a whole is on 'bad times' as you pointed out.
It is very depressing to see our country more divided now then ever. It's unbelievable.
This is not the "Hope and Change" that many wanted nor wished for.

It's more like a 'Change' with little to no 'Hope'
Or ..... "Change and Hope for the best", sounds more like it.

Either way, doesn't look too promising

Best of luck~
snarky

You can't spend your energy doing things that are out of your control. Leave the world to itself and you look after yourself. What will be will be, but your going to have no energy, if you spend it trying to change the world.

reply to post by darkbake


Buddy, listen to me: The way things are is a direct result of an insurrection. A coup has taken place; slow at first, and now quickening. But it won't last. Great things are afoot in the world right now. We're experiencing the darkest hours before the light returns.

When we regain our true lawful Republic—just wait and see—things will get better almost overnight. Seriously. All the things you speak about are the result of having had our world literally torn down around us, bit-by-bit. We're all suffering from immense shock and fright, and no one knows how to deal with it.

It won't be much longer. Take a rest; take care of yourself; and be assured that the good stuff is just around the corner. Well, maybe just around the corner and down the street a ways. But not so very far....

reply to post by darkbake


Sorry for your suffering. You asked how we could have gone back so far in 5 years. The real question is, had we really moved forward? The current TPTB don't really care about individual and social issues, so people have been able to push forward odd things, like gay marriage and pot legalization. But the entrenched power structures haven't changed. But I'm optimistic, most human power is simply a matter of perception, but fundamental forces guide the world, and long term I think they are pretty beautiful.

PS are you in the Puget sound area? What PD did you have the bad times with, if you don't mind me asking?

If what I do changes the perception of one person in the world, it could lead to a positive change generations in the future. That is my goal. One person I teach to be aware can become the leader of a nation. This one person can correct the injustices that we now have.

We do not have to convince everyone, sooner or later, probably after we are long gone, something may change because of our actions today. I do not need gratification for my input. I would like if people would all know the truth, but the truth is hard for most people to comprehend. Life can be simple, the rat race is something we have been conditioned to think is necessary. This is not true. We just need to live a life that we can enjoy. We do not need great wealth or fancy things to impress others into thinking we are better than most people. We need fair health, warmth, nourishment, and social interaction with other life on this world, preferably with others of our kind.

Don't get discouraged OP. What you do does change the world but we may never live long enough to see it. If you stand back and say nothing, you will never effectively change anything. If you aggressively demand change, then the change will be opposite as you alienate others. This is how it has always worked. Conditioning takes generations to successfully work. We are conditioned to believe what we were taught, and what we were taught could be a misconception that is used to structure society the way someone with influence desires.

Don't let it get you down. Just keep plucking away and don't expect too much immediate recognition, that may come in the future and you may never even be linked to what you started, it will be the brainstorm of someone else, set into play by what you say today. I give away what I know hoping someone will learn. I expect no gratification for my research Hopefully it will go around a circle and someday help my grandchildren or their kids. The deception and greed in the world right now is far from minor. Some of this deception is not bad but other stuff is. Just because it is not the truth does not mean it is bad for society. Both the good and bad people in the world use deception. It seems our perception of good and bad is clouded by our desires.

reply to post by darkbake


Fear not, there is actually less division via hate, racism is quickly becoming unfashionable I am happy to say!
If you're tired, take a break and we'll be here.
After you immerse yourself in the sheep world, you will see the same things that caused you to sheepdog up, then you will be back with new luster and stronger purpose.
The world out there sure is pretty, if you can ignore the corruption.

reply to post by darkbake


I am very hopeful that your circumstances will improve in the
near future.

You know, the world is broken by design.. somebody has to
live in the horror and insanity channel.

The 'great work' is not to change the world.. the 'great work'
is to change oneself. There will always be a horror and
insanity channel.. though this Earth won't always be that
channel.

You haven't failed.. you have succeeded gloriously.. you have
changed yourself. Everything else will take care of itself.

KPB

Here is my rant because I know that EVERYONE HATES ME FOR NO REASON AT ALL!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

reply to post by KellyPrettyBear


Hey Kelly, I noticed you added me as a friend too

Things are taking care of themselves - I moved back to Washington, when I left, I had left our Magic: The Gathering group in the hands of some of my friends, and when I was in Idaho, I learned about marketing from a professional.

I came back into town, started up the Facebook page again, ran some ads - and today we had 16 people show up, plus 4-6 more watching, which was up from last week's 8.

That much is a big deal to me because these people are of all ages ranging from 13 to mid-40's - and different races and genders - and people make friends from this and go off to do other things like Dungeons and Dragons, or gaming, or going to the Arcade, or being musicians.

It's a lot more positive for me than Idaho was. In fact, we buy our packs from a card shop and then head over to the arcade to play - and the card shop is getting so much business from us! Today, we bought around 80 packs - that's $320 every Friday night, just for the entry. And then we move over to the arcade, where we all spend money on arcade games and sodas and food.

I feel like I made a difference in the community, I have always been involved in the community in this kind of manner - finding ways for people to actually find fulfillment out of life.

reply to post by g146541


Hey! So about racism, over in Washington (not Idaho) we have a Magic: The Gathering group that is actually ran communally, which is extremely rare - anyway, today, there were some Hispanics who showed up to check out the scene,

I joked to my friend they wanted to see how racist we were before committing to a draft, and he replied "Then they found out that more than half of our group was Hispanic."

I hadn't even noticed. I like it here so much better than Idaho.

The Magic scene and gaming scene here are so cool, family-oriented (we had Hispanics bringing their kids to play and stuff today), it's amazing. I've been putting effort into it for a while, most of the time under the radar, like when I left my friends in charge while I went over to Idaho.

And even now, I'm running the Facebook page, but not the events, although I ask the official leaders if they want to do extra events sometimes, but the cabinet gets to be in charge and keep me from being too hot-headed.

It's better, because even though I can make decisions, the people who are carrying them out are also in charge, and no one is really interested in leading - they all kind of get together and play and leadership roles switch depending on the situation.

-----

Anyway - yeah, things seem to be improving compared to the situation in Idaho. I have a problem with talking too much and being over-confident sometimes now, which is opposite before, but better.

reply to post by darkbake


Don't try to change the world, just your world.

It's hard enough trying to keep our own boat afloat.

Keep yourself strong, happy, and healthy.


Peace,

RT