Blowing Steam.

Why does anybody ever fight or yell?
It almost never leads to resolve, yet even when the only answer is talking it out people, even me, refuse to do it sometimes. This can be our closest friend or our greatest enemy, sometimes its both.

All it does is hurt people, so why do we do it. It must be anger right? Well anger is a useless tool too unless your physically fighting people or use it as motivation to do positive action. But our brain is hardwired otherwise to fight instead of back down when we see no real threat even. Is there a way to reverse this? I certainly cant figure it out!

Luuke123
Why does anybody ever fight or yell?
It almost never leads to resolve, yet even when the only answer is talking it out people, even me, refuse to do it sometimes. This can be our closest friend or our greatest enemy, sometimes its both.

All it does is hurt people, so why do we do it. It must be anger right? Well anger is a useless tool too unless your physically fighting people or use it as motivation to do positive action. But our brain is hardwired otherwise to fight instead of back down when we see no real threat even. Is there a way to reverse this? I certainly cant figure it out!

You can't put out fire with more fire. If I throw a piece of trash in your yard, you can come beat me up. In this case, the negative I gave you adds more negative. You can take the trash and do work by putting it in the trash. By doing this, you suffer for the reward of cancelling my negative. You can then come to my yard and clean my trash up. When you do this, positive is created. The likelihood I will every trash your yard again is eliminated. Water puts out fire.

If you smoke, what happens? You suffer health problems. If you go to the gym, what happens? You suffer for the reward and live longer. In this life, you can only give to receive reward. Giving requires work. The more you suffer on purpose, the better your life becomes. All those arguments are caused by taking reward first. Simply flip the reward to suffering first and reap the harvest of eliminating the cause.

reply to post by Luuke123


Good question, unfortunately I doubt anyone has an answer. This reminds me of a sign that was posted in a classroom that stated " ANGER is only one letter away from the word DANGER."

Many factors at work here.

Some people yell/fight to distract others - whether that distraction be weak leadership or weak nature.

Some people yell/fight because they are fed up with the stimuli - they kept it bottled in so long, they need to vent it out - like a pressure release valve.

Some people yell/fight & belittle the other person so they feel better about themselves. Those actually get a kick out of it.

Fighting and stuff in the like - is in our DNA. We cannot change who we are. We can only adjust our way of thinking and be better.

For-instance:
If you yell/fight to distract others - work on building your leadership and squish your weak nature.

If you are fed up with stimuli - change the stimuli. If not, it'll only result in hairloss and heartburn.

If you need to feel better about yourself - get better. Don't take it out on the little guy. Change your way of thinking to enable you to feel better about yourself by HELPING others be better.

More examples I'm sure, but I'm a tad bit drunk now - all my brain can come up with.

Conclusion:
Note - It is good to vent. Some vent by yelling - others by exercise. If you make everything negative a challenge - you can change your thinking to want to win over this challenge.

Never sell yourself short.

reply to post by Luuke123


Yes... I fought for years, and had serious anger issues...

The trick is to think about what these actions actually solve...

Yelling doesn't make you feel better... its exhausting, and only makes the person you're yelling at feel bad... Which also adds to your personal Karma...

Fighting solves nothing... you end up hurting yourself, and others... Even if you happen to be quite good at it, like I was once upon a time... In the ring I never once felt good about hurting my opponent... Sure the adrenaline was great but once it wares off you feel like crap... and of course... More Karma

Bar fights are just stupid... No comments there...

Anger solves nothing in any situation... It only hurts...

Love solves all issues... Try it... practice it...

Be Love

reply to post by Luuke123

Why does anybody ever fight or yell?

Pure and simple, its a form of control. When people raise their voice they are trying to assert their way over you, usually mid sentence of what you are saying. If you raise your voice back to regain control they yell, dwarfing whatever point you're making in a barrage of anger. They may not even be angry for that matter. But now you find it harder to focus on your point and that is exactly what their intentions are; to shut you up. To get their way and control you.

These are not your friends, they do not love you, and do not have your best interests at heart. Just theirs.

Yelling is when you have to get someones attention in danger or call to someone far away. Not for people to use in the same room.

Neither is interrupting your speech or calling you by name either. Both demeaning and belittling.

Edit to add: Its a form of verbal and emotional abuse and illegal.

Thanks everybody, i was feeling kind of hot headed earlier and i needed to vent.

reply to post by Luuke123


What you speak of, doesn't come from anger...it come from pain. Pain creates a level of frustration, that turns into anger. Anger created from frustration and pain, leads to uncontrolled projection of anger. It's a viscous circle that doesn't help anyone, doesn't solve problems. It's like lancing a puss filled wound that never heals, just continues to fester.

I feel this, is the sickness dragging our society down. We only create more barriers between each other, as we lash out in pain.

Des

reply to post by Destinyone


I think we need to cut the root of all our social pain and get together and feel alright, as a society. It has to happen or were goners cause we will be so angry everybody will hate each-other.

reply to post by Luuke123


Exactly!!!

Des

Actually, you can put out fire with fire. Fire needs o,ygen and if you have no oxygen, you extiguish the fire. As a second fire would use more oxygen, it would help that. Also a fire needs fuel to burn. Lighting a second, controlled, fire to remove fuel in an area would help this.

So get angry. Punch a furry animal. Kick puppies. Scream at the sun and the moon. Ahhhah..



*evil laugh*