Bullying, front and center...

reply to post by burdman30ott6


I can't star you more than once unfortunately, or give you applause (damn ATS never asked me wanted the universe to implode on itself)

If you speak to "former" bullies, they usually end up becoming protectors of the weak and are disgusted by their behaviour, but they have to have been set straight. The ones that get away turn into really messed up people because they never faced their issues.

And the zero tolerance thing, it just leads into "he said she said" and plenty get away and continue on. And they try X-times harder to socially engineer all the people that might rat them out.

I think it was probably more likely for peers to jump in without big brother standing over the shoulder.

reply to post by burdman30ott6


You hit on it exactly! Bullies in my day picked on someone until that person had enough and kicked that bullies ass! No cops involved, just someone got what they had coming!

The source said younger players – some of whom make around $400,000 a year – were handed the tab for a $30,000 team dinner. One defensive player whose privacy is being protected is on his way to becoming broke for not being able to say no to the older players’ demands, the source added.

"Everything tastes better when rookies pay for it," veteran Miami defensive lineman Jared Odrick tweeted Friday.

Sources also told ESPN that Incognito asked Martin to contribute $15,000 to finance a trip to Las Vegas by some Dolphins players in 2012. Martin reportedly did not travel with the group.

You mean to tell me that if you or anyone else was told to buy someone something against your/their will you would do it because????? I know many females that have more balls than this pathetic excuse for a man has! Sorry, his story is pathetic!

Other than the racial messages this guy got, he is taking advantage of the political correctness of our current society and running with it! Most likely, he will never have to work another day in his life. A judge and jury will award him millions!

Ask someone whom went thru basic training what kinds of things the drill sergeants said to them on a daily basis!

Times do change, it was usual that those who were overweight or obesity have been bullied. Now decades later the roles have changed, i have noticed that those who are overweight or obesity do the bullying.

I noticed in my kids gym club that those boys who were obesity very roughly pushed smaller kids against walls using their mass, this happened before the gym started. Smaller kids were not happy or found any funny about it when 4 heavier kids jump over them. This is not a one time happening its basicly goes on in schools nowadays as the obesity is growing and those who are smaller are the victims.

Obesity is seen as a normal these days. In my kids gym club there are 10 boys where 6 are obesity. The big problem is that these big boys can really do serious physical damage to others.

I wonder what we see 10 years from now..

reply to post by burdman30ott6

Now in today's schools there is absolutely no acceptance of the victimized fighting back. Some kids gets picked on, finally takes a swing and knocks his tormentor on his ass, and the kid is the one who will be talked to by the cops, threatened with charges, and sent home.

This^^^ is definitely a big part of the problem. It's so backward! Punish the victim. Who the hell thought of that one?

The other part is, that not every bullying situation is so cut and dried. I stepped into a few bullying situations when I was younger, because I couldn't stand there and watch someone else be bullied, and picked on. Easily solved when I popped the guy upside the head.

But I have also been in situations where, as the OP said, they ran in gangs. This complicates things greatly. One kid is seldom going to stand his ground against 3-5 guys with no help.

Bullying is a problem for weak minded people. It's not even a real problem in life. If it's serious you call the cops, or you take a baseball bat to the bully. If you're bully is the cops or eyeRes, they have to have evidence of some sort that you actually did something. If you didn't they could be in trouble, and or you could sue them. Again bullying is for panzis! It's not a real problem even. Yes boys are gonna wrestle in the play ground and someone might go home with a black eye even, oh boo hoo. Get real. There's real problems in life. Like the guy who ran the check stop, got shot in the neck and got paralysed from the neck down, he was 17. And they won't ship him back across country because it would cost to much so he ends up being put in a group home with little care, attention, few friends or family. Or the friend who went to some 3rd world country to do some kind of work and got kidnapped and now is being held for randsom and it's not for sure if he'll come out alive. Or the 19 year old who thought he had a bright future as s soilder, gets fast tracked to the middle east, steps on a landmine and it blows his entire lower half off, and now he's in a wheel chair for life. Or a friend who the dr told him his kid needed an operation (which he didn't, it was optional) and they accidently paralysed him from the neck down. (these are all true stories that I know of.) Like theres' real problems in life that one might raise a bit of an eyebrow to. Bullying is not one of them. Bully back if you get bullied. Just kick em in da nuts! Besides you should kiss the bully for not beating on you haard enough!

reply to post by Klassified

But I have also been in situations where, as the OP said, they ran in gangs. This complicates things greatly. One kid is seldom going to stand his ground against 3-5 guys with no help.

Dealing with bullies is a mental game too. I mean, if anything, this is the kind of thing they should be talking to kids about. It's a life experience thing, eventually you will learn how to overcome it if given enough time, but with direction you might make it there a lot sooner.

The western world today is afraid to have conversations with their kids, afraid to say the world is this and that. Everything has to be perfect. There is no crime, no racism, no bullying, etc.

Everyone wants to live in fantasy land. And moms & dads think cause they are on their kids Facebook friends list they know everything they are doing, in reality, Julie says she's going to Kristy's house to bake cookies, where they take a bunch of pictures quick of cookie dough and the pre made box cookies, proceed to go to ____ with _____ to do _____ but they post the pics they took earlier to their wall, mom & dad are kosher.

Our society trains us to lie and penalizes us from a young age for telling the truth. No mom, I never smoked ______. "Of course you didn't, I knew that, I knew ____ was lying because remember me and you talked about that and we came to the conclusion it was bad right?" "Yeah mom"

Parents are more mad when they hear the truth than they are being lied to. Nuts.

reply to post by boncho


Good stuff boncho!!

You nailed it right on the head if you ask me. That's why I said whqt I said in a post earlier in this thread. Parents need to take accountability and teach their chikdren right, and not get angry for a child telling the truth.

Personally, that's exactly what I've done with my children. I treat everyone situation as required, and I can't for the life of me, see why parents are so lazy in raising their kids. Its not that difficult...

burdman30ott6

JayinAR
Gang stalking, or bullying, has been linked to mass shooting events.

That is absolutely because of the current "zero tolerance" policies society has adopted. In past generations, bullies would eventually either push their victim to the limit or bully the wrong individual and recieve a bloody nose, busted lip, and a couple black eyes. Natural solution to a natural problem. Just as we see in the animal world, human males are biologically driven to establish a pecking order (one theory of the feminization of males by chemicals in our food and water and reprogramming in schools and culture is to combat this natural process). Part of that pecking order involves the "alpha" eventually running up against somebody either more emotionally driven or physically superior to himself and getting his ass handed to him.

Now in today's schools there is absolutely no acceptance of the victimized fighting back. Some kids gets picked on, finally takes a swing and knocks his tormentor on his ass, and the kid is the one who will be talked to by the cops, threatened with charges, and sent home. That's messed up and flies completely in the face of nature. It results in kids resisting their natural urge to finally fight back, suppressing those emotions until they become an obsession... which usually boils over into a murderous rage seen in school shootings, knife attacks, and the like, or the victim falls into drugs or takes their own life to combat the obsession. In almost every one of those cases, all that was really needed was an old school encouragement to fight back and make the bully see some stars.

I agree 100%. In my OP I said exactly what I did to stop the one guy who ever tried to bully me. We had a hell of a fight. He wasn't nearly as tough as he thought he was, as it turns out.
I didn't face plant him on concrete like the big kid in Boncho's video, but the guy knew he was in a fight and I never had another problem.
I teach my own children not to suffer bullies.

But here is the rub...gang stalking is much harder to face when its, say, on Facebook perpetrated by 20 or more peers. What does the victim do in THAT case? Challenge the entire lot of them to meet him/her at the local Sonic?
Nah, they try to brush it off. But for those who are emotionally fragile for whatever reason (maybe dad walked out on the family) often times find it very hard to not me accepted, or even tolerated, by their peers whom they are forced to deal with every day.

In those cases (cyber stalking), I am in full support of zero tolerance and HARSH penalties for bullies.

Society needs to fix the cause in this case.
People need to learn to treat each other with respect...or at the very least tolerance.

They could start by focusing on the real problem with these mass shooting event.

Publicise it and tell people "this is what happens when you act like a jerk to your classmate who dresses in black and wears a trench coat. That kid snaps and hunts you down."

ETA: the cyber bullying is a much bigger problem than face to face bullying IMO.
In the heat of the moment the victim feels even more humiliated because the taunts, insults or whatever are right there on full display. Literally anyone in the world can look at Twitter and see that little Jimmy is a poosie and none of his peers enjoy his company.

It is easy to imagine how helpless someone can feel in that situation.

reply to post by JayinAR


This thread really brought out the internet tough guys... as if violence is going to solve everything...

Who else has a story of when they were being a tough Guy?

Here's one.
In that case not long ago where the girl took her own life because of the cyber bullying, once one of those idiot girls found out the girl killed herself, that heartless bitch took to Facebook and said "yeah, I bullied so and so and she killed herself, but I don't give a effect."

And people are shocked that this girl is looking at felony charges?
IMO that girl is a danger to society and should be locked up indefinitely until she has proven to be reformed from her current low-life status.

reply to post by TheMistro81


Just mentioning one way to handle face to face bullying. Worked for me and many others. But if it helps you calm down you can take solace in the fact that I didn't bring it up.

Who else has stories of being an internet wise guy.

TheMistro81
reply to post by JayinAR

 

This thread really brought out the internet tough guys... as if violence is going to solve everything...

Who else has a story of when they were being a tough Guy?

I'm no tough guy. Never was. But I wasn't going to stand there and let my friend be bullied, either. That's part of the problem with our society. We don't/won't look after one another.

When some girl is getting raped in the middle of the street, and a dozen people are watching from their windows, afraid to get involved, that's a very sad statement on our so-called "civilization".

It's unfortunate, but sometimes violence is what it takes. I wish it wasn't so. I abhor violence.

reply to post by boncho

You make some valid points in that post boncho.

The western world today is afraid to have conversations with their kids, afraid to say the world is this and that. Everything has to be perfect. There is no crime, no racism, no bullying, etc.

This statement is so true. Protecting our kids is one thing. Shielding them from reality is another. How else are kids supposed to learn, if the parents aren't talking with them, and teaching them? But then, as you just pointed out. A lot of parents aren't living in the real world, either.

Klassified
reply to post by boncho

 

You make some valid points in that post boncho.

The western world today is afraid to have conversations with their kids, afraid to say the world is this and that. Everything has to be perfect. There is no crime, no racism, no bullying, etc.

This statement is so true. Protecting our kids is one thing. Shielding them from reality is another. How else are kids supposed to learn, if the parents aren't talking with them, and teaching them? But then, as you just pointed out. A lot of parents aren't living in the real world, either.

And that point can be extended even farther.
We have capitol punishment, right?

Then WHY do we allow convicted murderers to sit in a cell for years and then execute them in the dead of night with barely a mention of it in the news?

I say hang 'em high on the town square.

It will dissuade people from doing heinous things.
If people can SEE the punishment, they will think twice about doing the crime.

We are a very sheltered society.
At one point I thought the media needed to stop publicizing these mass shooting events, but I was wrong. They need to spread them far and wide and explain this is the consequence of bullying people.

reply to post by JayinAR

I say hang 'em high on the town square.

Ahhh, but Jay. That wouldn't be very civilized, now would it? LOL!

reply to post by JayinAR


No, it's the consequences of parent not teaching their kids how to handle real life situations in a rational manner.

Klassified
reply to post by JayinAR

 

I say hang 'em high on the town square.

Ahhh, but Jay. That wouldn't be very civilized, now would it? LOL!

Oh yeah. Because what we are doing now works so well. Haha

When I watch movies about the "Wild, Wild West" I think, "ya know, sure these guys were quick to shoot a man dead, but by god he usually deserved it."

People treated one another with respect back then. If a guy bullies ya, you challenge him to a duel.

Sometimes the old ways aren't so bad. Its doubtful too many folks actually ran around acting like arsehats. Jessie James was a gentleman most of the time...
Mass murder is a new phenomena.

TKDRL
reply to post by JayinAR

 

No, it's the consequences of parent not teaching their kids how to handle real life situations in a rational manner.

You are, of course, correct. But that doesn't address the immediate issue, does it.

Saying "bad parents" is a bit to Captain Hindsight for me.

I would rather focus on the immediate cause and effect than wait an entire generation seeing mass murder rampages in the news once every two weeks or so.

reply to post by seagull


This kind of thing has been going on for decades. As long as we've had a chain, there's been bullies willing to make other look small in order to make themselves look big.

Unfortunately it surpasses the school yard these days and is very prevalent at work also. It's usually dismissed as either just 'having fun' or 'someone being too sensitive', but what I see is a lot of people in this thread using the old 'they probably deserved it', 'the should just harden up' or even the old 'they should just fight back.'

Really? Think back to when you were a kid and the bully came after you with all his mates. Were you really thinking at the time you'll just man up and take them all on? This isn't the movies, and you 'aint gonna be some hero that bashes the big guys and parades around like the new tough guy at the end on everyone's shoulders. Many times I stood up, many times I got the crap beaten out of me simply because I failed to learn one rule.

Always go for the leader. Bullies almost exclusively run in packs, so that if they start to get into trouble, they have backup. I learned early on you go straight for the leader, make it clear that each time it would be him and only him you go after. The bullies soon learned they were the ones getting hurt, not their backup mates. Despite this, it took years to stop fully.

Bullying these days has transcended school into the workplace, where it is the chain of command used as a tool to run others down, or the rule books that don't allow someone to fight back when you get set upon. What are you going to do if someone starts pushing you around, man up and just bash them? What if it's the boss that is doing it? I saw first hand so many people over the years get bullied by managers who just used the old 'I was only kidding, lighten up' excuse as a way out when the heat got too much, and they were almost always backed by both union and HR departments.

I also see a lot of people using the old 'he/she's just misunderstood, it's not their fault, they're just lashing out.' BS. Bullies only understand one thing. Pain. You hurt them, make them think twice about doing it again, it's the only way it'll stop. That's the problem with cyberbullying, there's literally no consequence of writing on a screen, and most people fall back to the sticks and stones axiom, which is also BS. Six months, a year, a lifetime of sticks and stones? Yeah that's just easy to ignore over and over again isn't it?

Watch this video, it's called to this day, and it really sums up exactly why as a species we are failing.

reply to post by seagull

S+f for you,I loathe bullying also!

Now the way my husband and myself handled bullying in our own childhood has been to bite back.He was bullied on occasion,but ir never lasted more than a day or 2-because even though the bully was always bigger than my hubby,kids from older grades,you know,he would fight back and Very violently.Figured if he was going to get beating he would make sure the other party was hurting AS bad as him-it always worked- bullies usually back off when they come up against defiance and resistance,especially violent resistance.Worked for me too,I was bullied just once,not even bullying really,a girl who disliked me+was tryong to pick fights with me-so one day myself+some friends came across her and some friends in a park.Our respective friends stayed out of it,she came to me+shoved me,so I shoved her back harder+told her to back the duck off.That was all it took in my case-here's the odd thing,after that she was always friendly+chatty to me when we ran into each other? Even years after school,she came into a shop I was working at+we chatted.

What we tell our children:YOU never start a fight,YOU never hit first-BUT if some jerk is bullying you/has it "in for you" and goes so far as to hit you first,you have carte blanche to put them into hospital-and the POS's parents are welcome to discuss the matter with US-sue us-and we WILL counter sue THEM+their thuggish spawn! We have zero tolerance for bullies-so we teach our children,you bite back,and you do it hard.Take my oldest gal,she is 21 now but looks about 14,short + very thin,spindly really.A bigger girl who did'nt like her for some reason decided she was an easy target.
but bully-girl found she had scrapped with a badger.She carried on despising my gal all through high school+the feelng was mutual,but she limited it to filthy looks after their "episode" which had occured towards the end of their primary school years.

I don't bullying will ever be eradicated but my advice is:Bite back-and bite Much harder than the bully.Do it right the 1st time it happens,and chances are the bully will back off.They may always despise you,but then,they despised you anyway,so nothing lost.Violence is not good,but sometimes violence has its place,and for self-protection against lowlife scum-righ there is its place.