Bullying, front and center...

Anyone who is following the NFL has heard this story...

A big young, really big, and not so young man really; driven by a bully from an NFL locker room.

The question I keep hearing is... "Why didn't he do something?" He's big enough to do something about it.



If a huge man can become a victim of bullying, what does that say about society in general. Bullying is probably much, much more prevalent then we envision in our darkest nightmares.

That little girl in the fourth grade who is undergoing chemo. A boy in high school who has come out. The list is endless, quite literally endless.

The victims almost invariably feel they have no place to turn. Bullies run in gangs, usually. You're outnumbered. The authorities always seem to busy elsewhere, and don't give a flying *bleep* even when they're around...

Oh it's kids being kids... Boys will be boys... We've all heard the BS excuses. Ask a victim of bullying about boys will be boys...

As a former victim of bullies and their followers (who are, to my mind, even more contemptible...), I loathe with every fibre of my being the excuses.

There is no excuse... None. No *bleep* excuse at all.

I hate few things as I hate bullies. What few buttons I have, bullies are connected to every one of them. I'm fortunate that over the decades I've learned to control my violent tendencies. In the case of bullies? That control is not nearly as good when it comes to witnessing bullying.

Domestic abuse.

Verbal abuse.

Twitter.

Facebook.


I've seen the bullying everywhere. In all too many cases? It goes unremarked upon. Or if it is? The actions are less than useful.

How many of these horrific events in the past are as a direct result, if not the sole cause, of bullying?

I get very angry when I hear stories of this sort. The urge to handle it with a nail studded baseball bat is very strong.

How do we address what is obviously a dark, dangerous subtext in our culture...?

Sorry this OP is a bit disjointed, this issue, as I said, pushes every button I have.

reply to post by seagull


A link to a few examples would be nice... at the very least a link to the bullying concerning the NFL. I watch it and have no idea that anything like that happened.

reply to post by seagull


I think it has more to do with how "soft" we have allowed ourselves to become as adults than bullying.

For crying out loud, this is a grown man whom beats up on people playing a game!

Quite frankly I think this so called "man" needs to go to a doctor and get a "backbone" then onto a dermatologist to get a thicker skin!

Children being bullied is one thing, but when adults become mushy ass mushrooms with no capability to defend or stick up for themselves, HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

Political Correctness is nothing more than a War against Reality.

How far do we let this insanity go? Are we going to create a new law and regulation every time someone gets their feelings hurt??

Sorry, he is a grown man! Not a child!

Well, the guy in question wrote this:

"Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of s---. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s--- in your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F--- you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."

jhn7537
Well, the guy in question wrote this:

"Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of s---. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s--- in your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F--- you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."

So the guy was irl trolling or he had tourette syndrome? Wait, this is bullying now? Didn't the other guy's mom teach him the sticks and stones rhyme….

reply to post by seeker1963


If only it were that simple. In this case? I don't know the particulars of it, but something else is going on there.

The only reason I really brought up the incident there is to highlight the fact that anyone, regardless of "backbone" can, under certain circumstances, be bullied.

If a big man like that can be bullied, so can your grand parents. Your children. Your neighbors kids or grand parents.

It's not about growing a spine.

reply to post by seagull

It's not about growing a spine.

In this case I'd say it's a matter of growing thick skin. Bullying is not a single profanity laced rant directed at someone. Although we don't really have a proper account of what happened. Hockey and football lockers are rough, so is the game. If we have to treat them like figure skaters, give them figure skates or in the case of football, they can play frisbee or something.

reply to post by jhn7537


If someone wrote that to me, I'd file a police report and see what action i could take. That'd be a great wake up call to the bully...

What is there to do about bullying? I was taught, and teach my children to stand their ground. Most importantly I teach them to not be bullies...

This sounds like a whole lot of drama to me.

boncho

jhn7537
Well, the guy in question wrote this:

"Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of s---. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s--- in your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F--- you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."

So the guy was irl trolling or he had tourette syndrome? Wait, this is bullying now? Didn't the other guy's mom teach him the sticks and stones rhyme….

edit on 4-11-2013 by boncho because: (no reason given)

It doesn't stop there, this is honestly just a little that was released. If you go to ESPN you can read all about it. It's pretty disgusting that his teammates, coaches or front office refused to step in.

ESPN

I wrote a thread on this just the other day.
Bullying is Murder.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Gang stalking, or bullying, has been linked to mass shooting events.

It is a very big deal for our society. Yet even here people will defend this disgusting behavior.

Found it, the guy who said it, well, he has no career now. So you can be happy.

Incognito was suspended indefinitely by the Dolphins on Sunday night for conduct detrimental to the team. Meanwhile, the Miami Herald reported Monday that the team plans to cut ties with him.

espn.go.com...

TheMistro81
reply to post by jhn7537

 

If someone wrote that to me, I'd file a police report and see what action i could take. That'd be a great wake up call to the bully...

What is there to do about bullying? I was taught, and teach my children to stand their ground. Most importantly I teach them to not be bullies...

This sounds like a whole lot of drama to me.

The guy (who was being bullied) was in a tough situation. His teammate is doing this to him, not some opponent. These teammates should support one another, not put each other down. This is no way to build team chemistry. Also, he took $15k from him forcing him to pay for a trip of his. It got so bad that the guy (being bullied) had to excuse himself from the team because he couldn't work anymore.

Find any job where this would be tolerated??? If I did this to one of my co-workers I would be fired in 2 seconds. Just because you're a pro athlete it doesn't mean you're not sensitive or don't have feelings. No one deserves to be treated like this.

boncho
reply to post by seagull

It's not about growing a spine.

 

In this case I'd say it's a matter of growing thick skin. Bullying is not a single profanity laced rant directed at someone. Although we don't really have a proper account of what happened. Hockey and football lockers are rough, so is the game. If we have to treat them like figure skaters, give them figure skates or in the case of football, they can play frisbee or something.

THis wasnt a singular event, and incognito was kicked off of not one, but two college teams for behavior problems. He lasted about a week at Oregon. He was a problem when he was drafted by St Louis.

The guy is a professional bully.

jhn7537

boncho

jhn7537
Well, the guy in question wrote this:

"Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of s---. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s--- in your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F--- you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."

So the guy was irl trolling or he had tourette syndrome? Wait, this is bullying now? Didn't the other guy's mom teach him the sticks and stones rhyme….

edit on 4-11-2013 by boncho because: (no reason given)

It doesn't stop there, this is honestly just a little that was released. If you go to ESPN you can read all about it. It's pretty disgusting that his teammates, coaches or front office refused to step in.

ESPN

This guy has a long history of abusive behaviour, but it goes far beyond bullying, it seems like he crossed the line a long time ago:

Oct. 2013 Suspended indefinitely by Dolphins after alleged harassment of teammate Jonathan Martin
Aug. 2013 Texans DE Antonio Smith suspended for Week 1 for swinging helmet at Incognito during game
Dec. 2011 Raiders DT Richard Seymour fined $30,000 for punching Incognito during a game
Dec. 2009 Released by Rams two days after being penalized twice for personal fouls and arguing with coach Steve Spagnuolo during game against Titans
2009 season Voted NFL's "dirtiest player" in poll of NFL players by Sporting News
Oct. 2004 Dismissed from Oregon football program after transferring to school in September
Sept. 2004 Suspended indefinitely by Nebraska coach Bill Callahan for repeated violations of team rules
June 2004 Convicted of misdemeanor assault charge stemming from incident at party in February
Spring 2003 Suspended by Nebraska coach Frank Solich (reinstated prior to season)

Looks like his behaviour and attitude was looked over probably because of his athletic ability. He has a (misdemeanour) assault charge from 2004.

So I am sure there is plenty we don't know about.


And this:

Incognito talked to NFL.com this past summer about problems he's had to overcome through therapy with anger-management issues and substance abuse, particularly when he was with the Rams at the beginning of his career.

reply to post by seagull


I can understand your anger very well. This is a shocking nightmare you are so right.

The victims almost invariably feel they have no place to turn. Bullies run in gangs, usually. You're outnumbered. The authorities always seem to busy elsewhere, and don't give a flying *bleep* even when they're around...

It is very hard to know where to turn to. i reckon not only do the authorities seem to be busy elsewhere, i reckon the authority is bullying us left right and center, they, who are the example of poper behavior for the nation and subjects. i mean, no wonder we are sickened.

I do think the bloke who walked away and did not engage with the bully-behaviour did good. no problem can be solved on the level of its creation. it has to be done with understanding and care.

But how exactly is not an easy thing to answer. maybe it takes time and persistance. maybe if we all just start with ourselves and be conscious about our behaviour at all times.

reply to post by boncho


Thick skin? Do you somehow think that that makes it hurt less? That disgusting little tirade is, by all accounts, only part of it.

Bullying is all about intimidation. Projecting power over someone who is, in someway, weaker than you.

It's about inflicting pain. Hurting someone who, perhaps, couldn't for whatever reason; stop it.



That's the story in every single instance of bullying Intimidation. Pain.

There is something in society that needs addressing, that needs fixing.

reply to post by jhn7537


I read the story on espn just now... you're absolutely right. His teammates should have helped police the situation, but it looks like action was taken. So its not being tolerated, as it shouldn't be.

SovannaMaccha
reply to post by seagull

 

I can understand your anger very well. This is a shocking nightmare you are so right.

The victims almost invariably feel they have no place to turn. Bullies run in gangs, usually. You're outnumbered. The authorities always seem to busy elsewhere, and don't give a flying *bleep* even when they're around...

It is very hard to know where to turn to. i reckon not only do the authorities seem to be busy elsewhere, i reckon the authority is bullying us left right and center, they, who are the example of poper behavior for the nation and subjects. i mean, no wonder we are sickened.

I do think the bloke who walked away and did not engage with the bully-behaviour did good. no problem can be solved on the level of its creation. it has to be done with understanding and care.

But how exactly is not an easy thing to answer. maybe it takes time and persistance. maybe if we all just start with ourselves and be conscious about our behaviour at all times.

The answer to bullying is so, so simple. Punch him in the face. It is a proven method that has worked for thousands of years.



Or you know.. body slam him on the pavement…

JayinAR
Gang stalking, or bullying, has been linked to mass shooting events.

That is absolutely because of the current "zero tolerance" policies society has adopted. In past generations, bullies would eventually either push their victim to the limit or bully the wrong individual and recieve a bloody nose, busted lip, and a couple black eyes. Natural solution to a natural problem. Just as we see in the animal world, human males are biologically driven to establish a pecking order (one theory of the feminization of males by chemicals in our food and water and reprogramming in schools and culture is to combat this natural process). Part of that pecking order involves the "alpha" eventually running up against somebody either more emotionally driven or physically superior to himself and getting his ass handed to him.

Now in today's schools there is absolutely no acceptance of the victimized fighting back. Some kids gets picked on, finally takes a swing and knocks his tormentor on his ass, and the kid is the one who will be talked to by the cops, threatened with charges, and sent home. That's messed up and flies completely in the face of nature. It results in kids resisting their natural urge to finally fight back, suppressing those emotions until they become an obsession... which usually boils over into a murderous rage seen in school shootings, knife attacks, and the like, or the victim falls into drugs or takes their own life to combat the obsession. In almost every one of those cases, all that was really needed was an old school encouragement to fight back and make the bully see some stars.

seagull
reply to post by boncho

 

Thick skin? Do you somehow think that that makes it hurt less? That disgusting little tirade is, by all accounts, only part of it.

Bullying is all about intimidation. Projecting power over someone who is, in someway, weaker than you.

It's about inflicting pain. Hurting someone who, perhaps, couldn't for whatever reason; stop it.



That's the story in every single instance of bullying Intimidation. Pain.

There is something in society that needs addressing, that needs fixing.

Actually, it's about unresolved mommy and daddy issues or severe emotional problems. I was bullied all my life, then I started beating them up, then I felt bad for beating them up, ended up becoming friends with them. Turns out most of them just don't know how to connect to people. They are insecure and project it in rage or indifference to other people.