Does Going to Church make you a better person?

reply to post by WarminIndy

Are you willing to allow her to live with the regret of being caught and giving up her faith for you? It will happen. And if she is easily changed, then her faith isn't strong to begin with. And if she changes for you, then she can change for someone else also.

Ughh. Ain't THAT the truth!! Yeah, my 3rd "IDIOT FRAUD" husband was what he called a "chameleon" - "I'll be whoever I need to be to be with the person I'm with." Came OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

It's called "the submerged personality", and it's NOT healthy.

I was just reminded of Jodi Arias, just now.
Yikes.

WarminIndy

FlyersFan

Akragon
Why be skeptical though?

It's being realistic. You said religion is 'only religion'. Not a big thing. But to a fundamentalist Christian, Religion is EVERYTHING. Its part of everything in their life. You both have a fundamentally different view on life and how it's lived.

Perhaps you'd have to meet me in person to understand me...

I understand you. I also understand fundamentalist Christians.
The two can't live life compatibly together under the same roof.


I wish you well ... really.
But this is a disaster waiting to happen.
Sorry.

Amen.

And two years from now we'll be hearing complaints about child support payments.

FlyersFan, his first introduction about this girl is that she is 12 years younger than he is. He's bragging about chasing a girl 12 years younger. That's why I said she is naive. She just barely hit 20 years-old.

Remember when you were 20? Weren't we taught to be more mature then? Girls today don't have the same level of maturity we did then.

Age is no longer a factor just so you know... She talked to her mother and was told that many of her friends have husbands that are 12+ years older and met younger then her

reply to post by Akragon


LOL!!
Time for a musical interlude: EDIT: switched to a version showing the lyrics:

reply to post by wildtimes


Holy crap...

I said a guy not a cowboy

reply to post by wildtimes

Enjoyed reading your input here, too. Your husband is fortunate to have you by his side.

To the OP; I must admit after careful screening by ATS I admire your "patients" and steadfastness. Those character traits will be tested to the utmost in this relationship. If you can handle it, you're a much better man than I.

From my point of view there are so many other girls out there that don't have to be so hard-won. But choosing the easier path doesn't help us grow either.

Some people choose to climb a mountain. I don't, I am afraid of falling off. To each their own.

reply to post by Akragon


LOL!! Did you at least give it a listen? I bet your pal Cory (?) would appreciate it.

It's the sentiment that counts. and I LIKE Brad Paisley. I also LIKE The Cure. And Tom Petty. so there



Oh, and also - it illustrates the differences in "culture" between me and my husband - but we get along all the same!!

Good luck, bro!!

reply to post by Akragon

She talked to her mother and was told that many of her friends have husbands that are 12+ years older and met younger then her

Yep, and my husband is 11+ years YOUNGER than I am...
and it works. But he was 36 when we got married. And I am his FIRST bride.

reply to post by Akragon

Holy crap...

I said a guy not a cowboy

Okay, fine. You're not a "cowboy". Well, she's not an "enlightened seeker." The SENTIMENT is equal. Yet you cowboy music? What if I told you

YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS MUSIC FOR TWO HOURS EVERY SUNDAY IF YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND.

Huh? Then what?

wildtimes
reply to post by Akragon

 

LOL!! Did you at least give it a listen? I bet your pal Cory (?) would appreciate it.

It's the sentiment that counts. and I LIKE Brad Paisley. I also LIKE The Cure. And Tom Petty. so there

Oh, and also - it illustrates the differences in "culture" between me and my husband - but we get along all the same!!

Good luck, bro!!

edit on 11/4/13 by wildtimes because: (no reason given)

hmmmm ... not so sure about that

the lyrics are fine but the music hurts my ears... Im sure he'd feel the same, yet he'd disagree with me just for kicks

Aquarious... gotta love em

wildtimes
reply to post by Akragon

 

Holy crap...

I said a guy not a cowboy

Okay, fine. You're not a "cowboy". Well, she's not an "enlightened seeker." The SENTIMENT is equal. Yet you

cowboy music? What if I told you

YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS MUSIC FOR TWO HOURS EVERY SUNDAY IF YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND.

Huh? Then what?

LOL geez...

such a girl...

Country music is terrible... but that isn't the topic is it...

Unless perhaps you listen to it whilst in church.... that might be an interesting side note to the 5th page

reply to post by Akragon

Country music is terrible... but that isn't the topic is it...

That's your opinion. I happen to like it - and go through phases of listening to it and then NOT listening to it...

but you're evading the POINT.

Religion is "terrible" -- to many people (and forgive me if I was mistaken that YOU find it terrible also)...so yes, it's on-topic. We're talking about fundamental tastes and differences here. Do you not see what I'm saying? I've been trying to give you parallel examples to think about.

Oh well. We're still friends, though....right? Even if you think 'country music is terrible' and I don't?

I was under the impression that you think organized religion is "terrible", too. And I've tried, trust me, to "break" men of the habit of listening to "heavy metal" which I think is TERRIBLE. But, I allow my husband to listen to it IN HIS HEADPHONES when I'm around; or whenever if I'm out. I think it's just NOISE, and don't waste my time or eardrums listening to it....

(my current husband is NOT one of the ones I tried to "break" that away from - that was the "tortured artist", and we went round and round about it. To the point where he'd lock himself into his studio and blare his "terrible" music while he painted, ignoring the rest of us (me and the kids) altogether. It DIDN'T WORK.)

reply to post by wildtimes

That's your opinion. I happen to like it - and go through phases of listening to it and then NOT listening to it...

but you're evading the POINT.

Religion is terrible -- to many people...so yes, it's on-topic. We're talking about fundamental tastes and differences here. Do you not see what I'm saying? I've been trying to give you parallel examples to think about.

So religion is similar to listening to country music...

ya that works.. lol

Oh well. We're still friends, though....right? Even if you think 'country music is terrible' and I don't?

now that IS a silly question

I was under the impression that you think organized religion is "terrible", too.

for the most part ya... it brings people closer to God in some cases...

but many are called... few are chosen

reply to post by Akragon

So religion is similar to listening to country music...

ya that works.. lol

Yeah, it does....
because for a person who likes country music - and ONLY country music - it is as much a passion as liking going to church twice every Sunday, or watching football twice every Sunday.

I've no idea if you're into watching football or not - it was just an example of incompatibility; same with taste in music. I, for example, hate Opera. I tried, as a kid (being reared in a household FULL of classical music, music lessons, learning two instruments) but "never acquired a taste for opera."

Would I marry some guy who wanted to go to Operas twice every Sunday, and tried to convince me that Opera is "good" and I HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE IT? No. I know myself well enough. No one else can "change" your taste.

Same with religion. She CAN'T change you, and you, likewise, CAN'T change her. You both might be thinking of it as "fixing" or "rescuing" - but it's the same thing. DEEPLY SEATED preferences and beliefs are NOT 'open season' when developing a relationship.

I'm not trying to give you a hard time, bro.....
Just wanting you to think it through before it's too late to go back.

YOUR best interest in mind, ya know??

reply to post by wildtimes


You know that opposites attract in nature right?

why would that be any different in beliefs?

Perhaps she has he beliefs and I have mine... but there is a truth between the two...

only one can prevail... or someone must admit to lying to themselves and God

Time will tell my dear

reply to post by Akragon

only one can prevail... or someone must admit to lying to themselves and God

Time will tell my dear

Yes. It will.
I wish for you all the best as you venture into these waters. :thumb up: Let us know, though, okay? No "I don't wanna talk about it" later - now that you've got all of us caught up in your drama vicariously...

Cheers!!

A solid relationship requires sacrifice (no pun intended) on both sides

If you think it's your place to allow/disallow your partner from listening/watching/eating what they like, then you're after a dictatorship, not a relationship.

Prezbo369
A solid relationship requires sacrifice (no pun intended) on both sides

If you think it's your place to allow/disallow your partner from listening/watching/eating what they like, then you're after a dictatorship, not a relationship.

what happens when your dictator is infatuated with you?

Is that a relationship or just lots of fun?

reply to post by Akragon

Is that a relationship or just lots of fun?

Infatuation is NOT a 'relationship'. It's "just lots of fun." And ONLY for a while.

I wonder if you're being really honest with her. Does she know that you have brought this to the table on ATS, just like she has done with her 'churchy' friends?

You said something to the effect of 'hoping she never reads this.'

How do you know she's not telling her churchy friends, "Don't tell him I said so."???

wildtimes
reply to post by Akragon

 

Is that a relationship or just lots of fun?

Infatuation is NOT a 'relationship'. It's just "lots of fun." And ONLY for a while.

I wonder if you're being really honest with her. Does she know that you have brought this to the table on ATS, just like she has done with her 'churchy' friends?

You said something to the effect of 'hoping she never reads this.'

How do you know she's not telling her churchy friends, "Don't tell him I said so."???

edit on 11/4/13 by wildtimes because: (no reason given)

I don't...but I would show her this if she asked... not a problem at all

I've been honest here and with her...

She can tell her churchy friends or anyone else whatever she wants to... Doesn't matter in the least

the only reason I wouldn't want her reading this is because I called her beliefs "crazy" once in the original thread... and I already tried that once...

Didn't work... had to reword what I said to her lol

Akragon

what happens when your dictator is infatuated with you?

Is that a relationship or just lots of fun?

Sounds like an obsession