Animals Moving into Death

This is my first official thread on ATS.

My cat, who is about 16, possibly 17 years old now, is in the process of dying. I have accepted this and I am preparing myself for the inevitable. We have had 16 amazing years together, and I love her and I am ready to let her go when the time comes. Her degeneration is at the point where there is nothing more we can do for her, after thousands of dollars worth of treatment and medication over the last several years.

I have noticed with her and with other animals who are dying, that they act very differently from humans. They withdraw, they hide, they don't want to be held or touched, they seem to become very stoic about their own suffering, and mostly seem to want to die in private. I've always thought that I would be there for her during her time of passing over, but now I wonder if that's the right thing to do. Is it better to allow her to go away somewhere and die alone? Does it matter to a cat if their human is there for them during their death? Is my desire to want to be there for her more about my needs than what she needs to be comfortable in her last moments?

I'm not looking for sympathy (I'm at peace with the reality of what it is happening), or even concrete answers, just thoughts and reflections. When I am able to detach myself enough from her dying process to observe objectively, I notice that she no longer wants to be touched or held, or have food pushed on her. She just wants a soft place to sleep and a bowl of water nearby. I am trying to resist to urge to hold her and pet her, although it feels important to me to do so.

I'm interested to hear your thoughts, ATSer's. Thank you.

Ok so the cat has a natural instinctual need to hide any pain, lest it let other predators know it is wounded and an easy target.

From my own experience and I'm sure you know what I mean, that if you keep approaching her with using her cat language she will understand and be comforted.

Cats are proud friends, and we have to be mindful of their prideful sensibilities but at the same time continue with our ministrations, it's the curse of being such a long lived animal I'm afraid.

You know of the rainbow bridge story? It always helps me when my babies are getting closer to crossing it.

Much love.

reply to post by Rhoswen


It's against her instinct to show weakness, and when she gets to the point where she has to, it's then her instinct to hide. That's how you know a cat is very sick or that something is very wrong - she hides.

Just be as calm and non-threatening as you can and without being rough with her, try not to call attention to her weakness so that you can make her as at ease as possible. Also, do what you can to make her as comfortable as possible. You wouldn't want her to suffer pain unnecessarily.

reply to post by Rhoswen


Just let her hide and do her thing. I think they prefer being alone when it happens.

Maybe they go into hiding so it will be an easier way to detach themselves from you and you from them. 2nd.

Thank you so much for your kind replies, everyone. She is not at the point yet where I feel we should take her to be put down, but she's getting close, and it's just a matter right now of whether she goes on her own, or is in so much pain we need to take action.

Treespeaker, I do know of the rainbow bridge story, but I will loose my s. if I read that again right now . It is a beautiful story though. I appreciate the reminder...I will revisit that when this is all over.

"Just be as calm and non-threatening as you can and without being rough with her, try not to call attention to her weakness so that you can make her as at ease as possible. Also, do what you can to make her as comfortable as possible. You wouldn't want her to suffer pain unnecessarily."

Very wise words, Ketsuko!

I would think that if she is already acting differently and hiding that she is in pain. It seems you have done everything possible for your cat and now it's time to have her put to sleep so she no longer has to suffer. Your cat has had a very long and happy life with you I'm sure. To take her away from suffering would be a gift from you right now.

As a long time pet owner I can say that this is what they do. You can approach her on her terms. Try approaching with your head tilted and slowly blink your eyes. Make sure she sees your eyes and keep you chin tilted down. She's not going to forget 16 years history.
My huskey snapped at me when I touched a wound once which is natural for an animal. The difference is he immediately whimpered and licked me in penance for his behavior. When she hisses and she might just back off .
Did your vet give you any pain meds for her ? Best to you in the days and weeks ahead.

PS I can't read the rainbow bridge. Not at any time whether I have recently lost a pet or not.

reply to [url=http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread979175/pg1#pid17128135]post by Tundra[/ur they go into hiding vecl]


Really they go into hiding because they are physically vulnerable . It goes back to their wild instincts.

When my dog was dying, she wanted to be left alone.
And honestly, when I'm really sick, I just want to be left alone as well.
But I suppose each animal has a different personality just like people have different personalities.
If you think your pet wants you ... then be there.
If you think your pet wants to be left alone .... leave them alone for the most part.

Only you know for sure.

reply to post by Rhoswen


I might be wrong so don't take my word for it 100% but I think the reason animals hide when they are dying is because they have a sense of doom and feel that something is "coming for them", kindof like when a person has a sense of impending doom when they are about to have a heart attack.
If so, there would be nothing wrong with giving attention to your cat. Unless she physically tries to avoid you and get away from you, why not?

reply to post by Rhoswen


The Breath of Elohim (God) powers the Universe,

all animated physical bodies are animated by the Spirit of God,

it is my belief and my hope that our Omnipotent and Omnibenevolent, Mighty and Powerful and Loving Eternal God is very capable of keeping our furry friends alive in the Eternal Dimension where He dwells,

I look forward to Paradise and spending Eternity with my Creator, my family (both ancestors and descendents) and my beloved pets from the temporal life,

God bless

reply to post by godlover25


Thanks, Godlover.That's lovely. I'm not sure where I stand on God or what happens to our spirits after we die, but your words are comforting.

Animals or human, its a very personal matter. I read that some people dont want to be touched either, and want to be alone. So I think they are a lot like us in that aspect. I think when death comes, we come to terms and be brave.

reply to post by Rhoswen


Your very welcome,

Words which come from a spirit in tune with The Spirit of Love and Comfort tend to be comforting to those who are open to receive them

God bless you and your friend and family

Thank you for your thoughtful words, everyone. Our cat died on her own this morning, just as we were about to take her to the hospital to be put down. It was a remarkably peaceful and quiet death, and we were there when it happened.

We took her body up to a box canyon, in a spot across from a mountain that is sacred to the native population here, and buried her in a grove surrounded by ferns, next to some old-growth trees. She's returned to nature and will become a part of nature, a part of the root system of the trees, a part of the soil.

She was 16 years old and had a good life. She was a noble spirit and I miss her dearly. I don't know what happened to her spirit after death, but I know that the love I have for her will live on, and maybe that's all that really matters.