The Indigo Children, page 6

Thanks a lot Zintac, there sure seems to be a lot of Indigo Children and it further reinforces that the transition is taking place. I want to talk about some of those traits, they all apply to me, but there are particular few I want to share some of my life expeiences on, and these are not really positive qualities and have caused me a lot of emotional unrest. Being an Indigo naturally, since a child, is not particularly good for a child's social development. I did not get the nuturing and support I needed, because my father was abusive and I hated him all my life.

I hated school as a chid. I did not like the system, I did not like my peers and I just did not see any point in education. It seemed more like a competition, than it seemed like a place where one learns lessons on life and knowledge. The monotony of school and life in general was getting to me, the superficiality and artificiality of society was getting to me, all it seemed like was a pereptual nothingness, just doing the same rituals and chores daily, over and over again. I got incredibly bored, incredibly frustrated. I'll tell you, boredom is the the worst feeling you can have. It does not feel good, it does not feel bad, it just feels like nothing, and when you feel nothing for years, you really begin to question existence and the purpose of life. I remember, when I use to sit alone and just laugh out loud at the universe and tell it what a cosmic joke life was. Like, Neitzsche, I too had decided "god was dead" and consciousness was nothing more a biproduct of biological functions, and it did not really exist, we did not really exist. Using these kind of justifications, I had decided I'm just going to commit suicide and end all of this, and I did make an attempt. I don't know what happened, but somehow I went from this state of extreme dispodence and atheism to spirituality, through a series of contacts with people, that I did not even seek. It all happened synchronostically.

But, what this experience told me was that logic was insufficient. You, see it was logic that almost drove me to suicide and that kept me in darkness and I suffocated in this darkness. Yet, as soon as some light came into my life, not only could I justify it logically, I could also justify it experientially. I did not suffocate in it at all, I felt rejuventated in it, I felt alive, I could finally verify that I did actually exist - that is the biggest truth - I AM. I had the truth, and I did not just think I had the truth, I could feel the truth. I then remembered I always knew this truth when I was a child, I remember how I believed in god at a tender age, I remembered how happy and innocent I was, I remembered how spiritual ability was second nature to me.

I am glad that I failed my attempt at suicide today. Life is very precious and it is also a golden opportunity to learn, I also believe and I have always believed as a child, that I am here for a mission. When, I found about Indigo Children, and actually the first time I found about them was from a book on Amazon and I was actually dubious. Some time later, I came across an article on Indigo Children and I read about their defining characteristics, it was almost like I was reading my life story. It was me, I recognized it, and you know the sense of knowingness you get when a truth presents itself, that is what I got. For, me an Indigo Child was simply a label I could use to fill that vacuum of who I was, a question I asked since a toddler.

I had found out who I was. But, it was not me conforming to a label, it the label conforming to me. And the label itself was limiting. I did not at all believe and still do not believe that Indigo Childen are born, I believe that Indigo Children are made. For an Indigo Child is no more than a soul who has made a connection with god.

There are many souls who have made connections with god, for which we so many labels, angels, ascended masters, prophets, gurus. And that is what an Indigo child is, those who have made connections with god, except we are born with this connection.

Now, regarding rage. I have just recently learnt how to control my rage, but I still cannot always control it. I will go red, flare up, I will clench my teeth, and I will get a headache. And most of the time it happens when reading some of the posts on ATS! Such as those from people who call for invasions of the sovereign countries and the blood shed of people. Such, as of those who deny truth. I have found taking deep breaths, humming, helps, and just writing this, my blood started boiling lol

However, I am not violent, at worst Ill shout and throw things(not at people) most of the times my anger will make me do spontaneous things. For instance, I once did a part time job while in college in a shop, and the boss was pissing me off, I almost ready to just walk out. I recently lashed out in a class of extremely ignorant people who were taking advantage of the teacher's softness. So enraged I was, I dropped out of it. In fact I have exploded several times in groups throughout life.

When I read about the NWO and what it is doing, I so wish that I could just breathe fire and engulf them all. However, I can control my rage, otherwise I would be out there on the streets protesting and wasting my time.

An, Indigo, does have his dark side too.