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Glastonbury Teens Arrested After Parents Come Home Early To Find Party Underway

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posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 03:35 PM
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NuclearPaul
I don't understand this sentence...


The two girls, 15 and 16 years old, face charges of permitting a minor to possess alcohol.


Was it the girls charged with this, or their parents? By allowing these young girls to stay home alone all weekend shouldn't mean the parents were no longer responsible for their welfare.
edit on 25/10/13 by NuclearPaul because: (no reason given)


In my book, and no, I have no real book, and therefore no authority to do so....

But in my book, the "parents" would be responsible 100% for ALL of the actions of their children.

If their kid threw a massive party, seven got into a subcompact wasted on beer and pot and X, and crashed into a bus killing all seven kids plus the fifteen people on that bus? Guess what. It's the PARENT'S fault for leaving their children unattended and unsupervised.

A minor is not old enough to make decisions like this. Their unsupervised actions led to this. It is the parents fault for not taking precautions.



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 03:46 PM
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Wow lol

Are you (the OP and some of the replies) seriously never considered having a party when your parents were out of town? and never attended a friends party whose parents weren't aware of it?

I seriously feel very sorry for your high school life, the biggest party anyone you have ever attended was probably a "pizza and pop" gig with a couple friends.

Cops did not need to be called it this situation, and physical abuse doesn't need to be applied as some of you have suggested, there are better ways to discipline your kids.



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 04:01 PM
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thesaneone
reply to post by SadistNocturne
 


So are you saying that your parents were bad parents because they left you and your sister home alone?


When you're done with that cherry picker, I'm aware of some migrant workers in my neck of the woods who would like it back to get their work done.

My parents knew that we had EARNED their trust. We were well behaved. We *routinely* received compliments from teachers, neighbors, waiters and waitresses, cashiers, strangers on the street. We did everything we were told at home. We were instructed on the dangers of fire, how to cook, etc. We didn't live the bubble wrapped world today that so many parents force on their children. We had chores that needed to be done before mom and dad got home, such as bring in enough firewood for the night, clean the living room, clean the kitchen, and have things ready to go for mom to cook dinner when she walked in. We also had to be started on our homework by that time. I was about 7-8, and my sister was 8-10 years old.

Today, surely, they'd have been put in jail. Today, I cannot, nor would I do precisely that with my children because I am only too aware in the lack of individual choice and authority a parent has in their own household.

But, I'll tell you what. My daughter turned six in August. She has been given chores, and she does them daily and loves it when we are very very proud of her. We work on her homework with her, and make a HUGE deal out of the good grades she gets. I make our expectations 100% clear in terms she can understand, as well as what the consequences of not living up to our expectations will be. For instance, right now, she is in the middle of a three week ban from doing something she positively adores, because she was caught in a lie. This is her second offense, the first time was one week. She knows that the next time, it'll be six weeks, PLUS working solely on additional homework from the moment she gets home until it is bedtime with the exception of bathroom breaks and dinner break for a week on top of the six week ban.

She is learning that we are quite serious when we say something. We back each other up, and remind ourselves that we said three weeks, not one week and "oh, let's just be nice and let her play". We make her look at a calendar and point out when the ban happened and count out the remaining days of her ban until she can do her favorite activity again. This way, she knows that ultimately, SHE is in charge of her behavior, and she can literally dictate whether we will be happy with her and whether she gets to do the things she loves. This is us empowering her, in the utmost sense of the word.

We are earning HER trust that we absolutely mean what we say. She NEEDS to be able to trust us that way implicitly. So many kids are simply *searching* for that kind of love, that trust, to know that their parent is looking out for them, to protect them. And the sad thing is, they hardly ever find it.

She is earning our trust by making amends for her misbehavior and earnestly trying to make us happy with her above and beyond merely complying with her punishment.

The idea in practice here, is by instilling this at a very early age, we won't have to be anywhere near as forceful as this later in life. I expect there to be ups and downs, particularly once hormones kick in with puberty. As school friendships and peer pressure develops. But, she always knows that we love her, and it is through our firmness that we love her, and we shower her with love on op of that firmness in very, very positive ways.

You may disagree. I'm perfectly ok with that. I would never put my nose into how you raise your children, nor would I abide by anyone doing it with my family.

But the primary thing here that I am looking to express, is that my wife and I are THE force in our daughter's life. Not "helicopter parents" who schedule play dates and arrange for their SAT exams and petition soccer coaches over why that call was made that didn't support our daughter's wonderful performance on the field. But, we are THE force in her knowing who loves her, guides her, instructs her, and is setting her up for a positive and happy life.



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 04:08 PM
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reply to post by SadistNocturne
 


And you sound like a great parent but for you too think that a child will not break the rules a few times just to test the boundaries is foolish and it does not make you a bad parent it just means that kids will do stupid things.
You can't learn from mistakes if you don't screw up once in awhile.



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 04:17 PM
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ObedientSheeple
Wow lol

Are you (the OP and some of the replies) seriously never considered having a party when your parents were out of town? and never attended a friends party whose parents weren't aware of it?

I seriously feel very sorry for your high school life, the biggest party anyone you have ever attended was probably a "pizza and pop" gig with a couple friends.

Cops did not need to be called it this situation, and physical abuse doesn't need to be applied as some of you have suggested, there are better ways to discipline your kids.


I had my fun. Don't you worry about that. And please don't bother with being condescending about how I must have been subject to the thrill of "pizza and pop" gigs....

But, what I can tell you is, neither myself nor my friends ended up in jail. We had no run ins with the police at all. We didn't get into trouble with the neighborhood adults either.

I had my ups and downs.

When my father died when I was 12, I was in a bit of a tailspin. That was the year that my best friend an I found a way we could steal penthouse and playboy magazines out of local trucks....stash them for "our own use"....and then I hit upon the bright idea if saying "Wow, we could SELL these...AT SCHOOL"....

SO yes, I had my very own Porn Distribution Ring during Middle School. Went down in flames after a random locker check...but my pal and I were floating in about $40 each a week spending cash in the early 80's...for about six months....

I got grounded for four weeks. My mom, in her wisdom, simply said "Listen, two things. A) Real women don't look like this, and B) I don't mind if you have these magazines, you're 12, it's be expected...DO NOT TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL AGAIN!". My pal, being mormon, well.....let's just say I was not able to see him again for six months outside of school.

Also, in HS, I was known as being the kid to be called on for anything even vaguely reminiscent of the Anarchists Cookbook. I took the notoriety hall of fame my Senior year when there was a bomb threat called in, everyone was evacuated to the football field, and suddenly "Would MR. Sadist Nocturne please come to the Principles Office immediately. That will be all" came blaring out on the outdoor loudspeakers. I practically crowdsurfed my way into the building, it was awesome. And what about it did I love the most?

I had NOTHING to do with it in the SLIGHTEST


So, was I an angel? No. Was I trustworthy by my parents, say, if they had to work late? Yes. Did I do dumbassed things like throwing raves at my house? Hell no.

I was smarter than that. And I genuinely believe that was what my parents were looking for.

I think that if my children ever DO get in trouble for something that I felt they were smart enough to get away with....I'd be more upset with them for being stupid enough to do it and get caught, than with them doing it at all.

But of course, the focus would be on the fact that they did it in the first place.



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 04:24 PM
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thesaneone




Hell, when I was a kid, we were left on our own (my older sister and I, she was 2.5 years older) and to our own devices. However, we absolutely knew that the slightest mistep would not only get us into a world of trouble, but that our parents would be even angrier over the fact that they then knew they couldn't trust us as they felt they could previously, and would stay home with us making our lives miserable (extra chores, extra homework, zero priviledges, etc) in the meanwhile until we had regained and re-earned trust in their eyes. Were we perfect? Hell no. Did My ass get tanned on a regular basis? Yes.



Well now I understand where you are coming from.
You were raised in a very strict household and think all parents whose children screwed up are bad parents.
Some parents do a great job of raising their children and sometimes they give them a little extra trust and sometimes kids will break that trust.

Now if you can show me some type of proof that these parent have been "bad parents" prior to this then I will agree with you that they are idiots.



Considering none of us know these parents, and we are talking in generalities here....

What you are asking is essentially to prove that there IS a dark side of the moon. I cannot begin to prove that to you.

I can tell you how my daughters behave, and I can tell you how I see children of comparable ages behave where their parents have radically different styles from the way I was raised and how I raise my children.

Now, you said I was raised in a strict household. Sure. My parents wanted what they wanted. Once they got that, hey, I could do DAMNED NEAR anything I sure as well wanted.

The difference is, in a truly strict household, the rules NEVER stop. The child is not allowed to be a child after they meet their parents expectations. OR the expectations are a bar set so high a giant couldn't even hurdle them.



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 08:09 PM
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thesaneone
reply to post by SadistNocturne
 


And you sound like a great parent but for you too think that a child will not break the rules a few times just to test the boundaries is foolish and it does not make you a bad parent it just means that kids will do stupid things.
You can't learn from mistakes if you don't screw up once in awhile.


First of all, thank you for that compliment. I do appreciate it.

However, I think you're missing a little something here. The point I've been trying to make all along, is that you do NOT leave two teenaged children alone in a house without SOME means of checking in on them to validate that they are A) safe B) behaving and C) not going completely ape#!!!

For the two parents from the story to leave their children alone in the house, and come back to find a party, well, that just screams to me that they had no idea what was going on. I see that as being due to inactivity on their part. Naivete on their part. Lazyness. What could POSSIBLY be so important that BOTH parents have to go and leave their two teenaged children unsupervised for a WEEK ? My wife and I have seen, what, two movies since our daughter was born six years ago? We've been out two times for dinner? That's because her safety and well being is more important to us than "alone adult time together". When we lived near family, we took them up on watching her. But now? We don't live near family...and honestly don't know anyone well enough. And the idea of just calling up *any* old babysitter, no matter what the references ? Is a couple of hours alone together worth the risk of what could possibly be lifelong effects upon your child?

Being a parent is not easy. It takes giving up many personal liberties and things you used to consider to be self defining. But the rewards far outweigh these small sacrifices.

I think there are *some* children who *could* be trusted with something like this. But, most children? No. Do I dare attempt to predict whether or not my daughter will be one of those rare shining examples? No. But, what I am doing is laying down a positive foundation. I am teaching her what I will and will not accept. I'm giving her the tools to earn my trust. It is ENTIRELY up to her whether she constructs something positive with that trust, or gets them taken away. Truthfully, even if she turns out to be THE most wonderful child in the world, and completely trustworthy...simple fact of the matter is, there ARE things that can arise that a 15-16 year old is simply not equipped to handle. So that being said, I'd most likely check in on a regular basis (can you say video throughout the house as in what is currently the way most home security systems utilize?), have a close friend check in on her from time to time, a trusted neighbor, etc.

To me, the idea of just up and leaving is completely unfathomable. Here's $100 for food. We'll be back in week. Ciao!


Sorry, no can do.


You are ABSOLUTELY 100% correct. Children are constantly testing those boundaries you dutifully setup. It's part of how they live and learn. It's part of the natural way of life. But as a parent, you are ultimately in control over when and where they have the opportunity to test those boundaries and make mistakes.

Leaving them alone in a house for a week unsupervised, far too big of a risk in my opinion.
edit on 25-10-2013 by SadistNocturne because: Forgot to address original point from thesaneone....



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 08:23 PM
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SadistNocturne

snowspirit

rangerdanger
I was thinking about what would happen if my parents would've come home early on one of the days I threw a party.
My father wouldn't have called the cops. In fact, if I got caught throwing a rager, I would probably WISH they called the cops.

Im glad I never got caught, because it would've been a beating like no other.


Same thing would have happened to me, if my father would have been able to catch me first.

That said, these days it's illegal to beat your kids, so they don't learn to fear their parents.
Parents aren't even allowed to spank, how do you discipline a teenager, other than taking away privileges?


You start from day one. You instill the idea that you simply do not displease your parent. You instill the idea that the child simply must comply with demands, and do so pleasantly and respectfully.

Once you have that foundation set, although there will be bumps in the road, you have the basics covered.



I consider that kind of rigid harsh patriarchal family to be abuse. you talk to kids and are warm and good hearted. some are timid and shy and would never throw a party, but I partied lots with a friend growing up and the alcohol was always provided, that was the Dutch way, you couldn't hide your drink either. Stopped drinking relatively early in life and could never touch rum and coke again.

The real world is nothing like what you are talking about.

The correct response would be to close down the party, talk a little bit to the kids. And then have some consequences the next day. Unless, they're older and you're a into keeping kids safe and a hippy parent.
Some of us prefer to know where our kids are. It really depends on the kids. I never threw a party. But I knew my brother would have, but probably didn't dare after mom and I found his stash of wretched magazines and burnt every last one of them.....



posted on Oct, 25 2013 @ 08:31 PM
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Good parents are not scarey people to talk to, teens can confide and feel safe, and even know that if they are drunk and stuck somehwere they can wake them up in the middle of the night and get a ride home. Thats a good parent. Obviously if your older teen is taking off frequently you have to set boudnaries, and some families even end up in cousneling together learning how to negotiate, problem solve, but the object is to draw those skills out in the child, not instill your rules, come hell or high water. Thats just living your own harsh childhood and responding iwth harsh buttons from the imago, or bad relationship you had at home.

And in a home like that no one would be free to be themselves, make mistakes or bring their concerns up to their parents, it would be like living with strangers. My mother would have kicked a man out who treated the family like that, and so would I!



posted on Oct, 26 2013 @ 12:50 PM
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Wascally wabbit...double posting is for kids!!!


edit on 26-10-2013 by SadistNocturne because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 26 2013 @ 12:50 PM
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Unity_99
Good parents are not scarey people to talk to, teens can confide and feel safe, and even know that if they are drunk and stuck somehwere they can wake them up in the middle of the night and get a ride home. Thats a good parent. Obviously if your older teen is taking off frequently you have to set boudnaries, and some families even end up in cousneling together learning how to negotiate, problem solve, but the object is to draw those skills out in the child, not instill your rules, come hell or high water. Thats just living your own harsh childhood and responding iwth harsh buttons from the imago, or bad relationship you had at home.

And in a home like that no one would be free to be themselves, make mistakes or bring their concerns up to their parents, it would be like living with strangers. My mother would have kicked a man out who treated the family like that, and so would I!


I would genuinely like to invite you to dinner at my house. Sincerely. Not being an ass, not kidding.

I think you thoroughly misunderstand what I am saying, and where I am coming from. I think (and I could very well be wrong) that your vision of my way of parenting as well as the way I was raised is colored by some experience or preconceived notion you have.

You'll meet my wife C, who is a lovely woman and very intelligent, great fun and very easy to talk to. And most importantly, you'll meet my beautiful six year old daughter C (not the same name, just the same initial
who is very fun, well adapted, and as everyone comments who meets her (including school administration, people in public who have no reason to not be truthful, etc) agrees very happy.

My wife and I agree that there are things we'll accept in behavior from our daughter, and there are quite simply things we will not. It is that simple.

Send me a private message. If you live too far away, we can always do a Skype message or something else so you can see exactly what I am talking about.

C cooks a mean thai-peanut-curry dish. I think you'll enjoy it. Although the little c still prefers mac and cheese or chicken nuggets at this stage



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