Pastor: Say NO to Girl Scout Cookies!

I've heard a lot of blithering idiocy in recent years, but this one takes the cake. A pastor called Kevin Swanson went on a radio show and told his listeners not to buy girl scout cookies. Because of lesbianism/communism/feminism or something. Here's the source - wonkette.com...

I can see his point
If a communist lesbian dressed in a creepy brown dress with no bra comes to my door selling strange looking cookies from a brown paper bag, i would think twice before indulging

reply to post by AngryCymraeg


You dont sound very sure what his problem is/was with the cookies


And after reading that, neither am I?

Was he scared that buying the cookies would increase the lesbian population, or scared that the money would fund extremist lesbian terrorists or somthing?

The guy is clearly totally bonkers.

Sorry, Pastor, a lesbian communist feminist isn't going to keep me from my thin mints and do-si-dos...

And I"m pretty sure the little girl that lives down the street selling them has no clue what a communist lesbian feminist is, anyway. She's, like, eight.

Read it, still not clear on what he means...

I'm sure I could come up with what he might of meant from his world view, perhaps the organization deciding not to discriminate against children is what is drawing his eyre.

Sounds loony, seems like one of these preachers that likes to be dramatic, a show man... Tare in the wheat from a theogical standpoint.

I said it in an earlier thread most of the time Christianity's biggest problem are other Christians. Crap like this robs credibility from the religion as a whole.

Thin Mints cause the gay.

2nd

I didn't know there were Communist cookies?

So is it that I'd be aiding Commies by buying cookies or that I'd somehow become one by eating said cookies?

That would be pretty scary if those evil doers came up with a way to convert your politics with something as tempting as a cookie. (Imagines a bag of Republican Wafers or Commie Crunches on the bench in some dark lab, waiting to be eaten by the unsuspecting)

Good thing he warned us, huh? That was a close one!

Republican cookies; dry, tasteless, unappealing.

Democrat cookies; too sweet, and when you buy them, the bill goes to someone else.

Communist cookies; an empty box, but you can't complain.

Gay cookies; who cares what they taste like, the box is decorated beautifully!


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


Yes, he's saving us from, um, woo. Or something. Does he really think that the Girl Scouts are proto-Communist feminists? Seriously?

beezzer
Thin Mints cause the gay.

2nd

I am SO gay for you right now

Girl Scout Thin Mints .... classic American cookie.
There is no way that this guy's homo-phobic rant is going to stop Thin Mints.
Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, Chevy .... and Thin Mints !!

FlyersFan
Girl Scout Thin Mints .... classic American cookie.
There is no way that this guy's homo-phobic rant is going to stop Thin Mints.
Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, Chevy .... and Thin Mints !!

I'm amazed people buy anything other than Thin Mints. I don't even know what else they sell. I'll spoon Obama before I let them take my Thin Mints. Just snuggle the socialist out of him. As long as I keep the Thin Mints.

The worst is the Girl Scouts with hot moms. Domo Kryptonite.

reply to post by AngryCymraeg


Wow little girls better not be friends with other little girls . It will make them gay. Idiocy is the perfect word. And obviously he doesn't understand women or women's relationships with each other. I have no problem kissing my girlfriends when we meet or part but I'm not sticking my tongue down their throats when I do. Women just show affection easier than men. You guys out there have seen this with your wives or girlfriends. Guys shake hands but women kiss. Guys do the bro hug with much back slapping. Women embrace. Gosh if we can't appreciate our differences what's the point ?

reply to post by 12voltz


Girl scout uniforms are green honey. The brownies are brown . Brownies are junior girl scouts or as this guy assumes communist lesbians in training lol.

reply to post by CoherentlyConfused


Mmmmmm Tag alongs and samoas. And yes the ever popular thin mints. Maybe he's never had any and doesn't know how good they are.

Girls scouts OMG the master plan has been found out, since I'm done with the rant it just comes down to girls trying to raise money for their troop, if you want to help buy the cookies, if you don't like cookies tell them to keep them no big deal.

i understand what the op post is about but come on!

And what the frock is the problem with being a feminist ? Now we can't even strive for women's empowerment ? Take your shoes off girls and lay down and spread your legs. Barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen for you !!! I've been wearing the feminist title since the 70's when the movement started. In the 20's I'd have been a sufferagette. I am not a lesbian or a commy I just know that I am not less than a man. I am equal to him.

Thin Mints are the only cookie they sell that I actually like. Really, really like. A lot. DONTOUCHMYCOOKIES!

Listen Pastor McCrazy, obviously, you detest life's small pleasures (eating indulgences is one of those) Throwing a bucket of scary-sounding words around isn't going to stop people from buying what they like, you're gonna have to do better than calling little girls commie lesbians. Go crawl back to your corner and keep mumbling to yourself. Maybe the floorboards might agree with you at some point.

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


Neither. Your money would fund the indoctrination of the girls into these groups. It ain't cheap creating a communist lesbian you know !

I was a girl scout but I quit before I earned my communist lesbian badge. Oh well that's my misspent youth. So many regrets.