I must apologize. I can't bring myself to friend any of you

reply to post by uk today


No not at all. I am in no way a cliff fan. I prefare morrisey!.......And just for the record i love TDawg. Me and him are like brothers from another mother!

TDawgRex

winofiend

Tdawg, was it something I said ??

Nope, not at all.

But fat naked cats scare me.

Wino has some of the creepiest (in my opinion) avatars I have ever seen. Thus far, I have found each one of his that I have seen, to be a bit disturbing, and I have no idea why.

TDawgRex
I take the word "Friend" pretty seriously and personally. If I call you a "Friend", then you should also know that I consider you my brother/sister and there would be very little I wouldn't do for you. I stay in touch through thick and thin. I think that the friend is used to casually these days. I can't even bring myself to "Friend" a friend as he already knows this.

However, if I could "Pal" or "Bud" you, my list may possibly crash the servers.

I do truly appreciate ALL the members of ATS and the staff and owners that make this site such as it is. Kudos to you all.

Are my self imposed standards to tough? Should I be a little more flexible?

I've been friended here and I do feel humble and honored, but cannot bring myself to do the same for others, no matter how much I like their threads/posts. A part of me feels guilty.

Keep it up. As a society we've been both taught and living the norms that have been portrayed and a lot of the time demanded of us. It's good to keep things your way, and not another persons. I feel different that you do about acquaintances, I give it all to everyone. More chance to be hurt but better chances are changing my and other peoples lives.

heehee

Wait a minute....
How did TDRex get onto my friend list?
He wasn't on it a minute ago.
Something weird going on.

I'm in agreement TDawgRex , and I don't want to make any word less precise to suit a wider purpose, quite the opposite.

A "friend" to me is someone to whom I would sooner give than lend. We would have exchanged gifts, favours etc already, in the process of developing a friendship, and neither would be keeping much of a tally. There would be a natural inclination to help the other.

This will not be quite the same in cyberspace, and neither should it be IMO, so rather than transferring existing terms we could perhaps allow cybersociety to be unhindered by arcane phraseology.

Perhaps if the button were dedicated to those we find "Agreeable of Disposition" with a "Cool button" for younger posters ?
Or even a + button, with its inevitable counterpart.

Lots in a name.

sistermith.

reply to post by TDawgRex

Well, that's why you are on my list.

Oops... I thought I added you quite a while ago, but I reckon I was wrong...

May I correct that error now?

Sincerely,
Milt

jude11
I'll be your friend!

I'm also the best kind of friend....

I don't borrow money, will not sleep with your sisters and I own a truck to help you move (Pizza and beer is on you of course)

Peace

Damn! You can friend me anytime!

To be fair, I think there is a distinct difference between a buddy on a forum online and a real world friend.
Just because you add someone as a friend online, for whatever reason, its not exactly the same definition of friendship as a real life friend.
I think you maybe taking the whole "forum friend" thing a little too seriously.

mistersmith
I'm in agreement TDawgRex , and I don't want to make any word less precise to suit a wider purpose, quite the opposite.

A "friend" to me is someone to whom I would sooner give than lend. We would have exchanged gifts, favours etc already, in the process of developing a friendship, and neither would be keeping much of a tally. There would be a natural inclination to help the other.

This will not be quite the same in cyberspace, and neither should it be IMO, so rather than transferring existing terms we could perhaps allow cybersociety to be unhindered by arcane phraseology.

Perhaps if the button were dedicated to those we find "Agreeable of Disposition" with a "Cool button" for younger posters ?
Or even a + button, with its inevitable counterpart.

Lots in a name.

sistermith.

This is a VERY interesting post.

When I first read the OP's post, I thought to myself, "Perhaps he should simply make the distinction between a friend in real life, and someone you "friend" on a web-site or forum". However, after reading the post I just replied to, it begs the question, should we be using different terminology, if they are obviously different things?


I wonder if anyone friends someone on a site like this, and considers them equal to the friends they have in real life. Not the people they meet a few times, have a beer with, or whatever, I mean their TRUE friends. People they live and die for.


For me personally, although I've never friended anyone on this site, I *have* friended others on various forums, and I don't view them the same as friends in real life. I view them more as people I see post a lot, people I perhaps interact with fairly often on the forum, and someone who seems nice. My standards for friending someone on a forum are obviously MUCH, MUCH different than my standards for calling someone a friend in real life.

Maybe this person is right. Perhaps different terminology is needed.

reply to post by supermarket2012


I think a forum friend is an acquaintance that may possibly become a true friend in the future.
Oftentimes the whole internet friends thing becomes a superficial "popularity contest", especially on facebook.
The fact is and has always been that a majority of these so called "friends" never have and never will be true friends. Hell most of the people in real life who would be regarded as friends really arent true friends at all, and more just acquaintances. I have very few real friends, my ability to trust is truly limited by all the fakes and liars I have known. But I really dont approach internet friendship in the same sense, its a different ball game altogether.

It's all cool,man.
The best part of all this is the people you meet. I have made friends who are like minded in here more then out in the real world.
Then,they become my friend in the real world.
No expectations,just there when needed or they are there when I need them.

Peace,
K

reply to post by littled16




"Sounds great, Greg" - Peter Brady to older bro Greg in episode 517. We are ALL "special" so We certainly don't need a designation. There are too many names already.

namaste

LewisStulePhD
reply to post by littled16

 

"Sounds great, Greg" - Peter Brady to older bro Greg in episode 517. We are ALL "special" so We certainly don't need a designation. There are too many names already.

namaste

Maybe a better solution would be to change the name of the function from "friend" to "follow". Basically all that happens when you friend someone is that they appear on a list where you can easily access their threads and posts and send PMs. It's a good function for keeping track of new threads by people whose writings you like. Call it something else if you like.

Hey, OP, do you get tons of 'Friend' requests? Are you some kind of incredible guy who just eveyone wants to be friends with? Let me perhaps set your apparently troubled mind at ease - Stop worrying about hurting the feelings of the masses of hopeful people who're clamoring for your 'friendship'. I suspect that somehow, we'll all get by just fine without you. But thanks for letting us know how bad you feel about your high standards. Now I see why soooo many people want to be YOUR friend.

TDawgRex
I take the word "Friend" pretty seriously and personally. If I call you a "Friend", then you should also know that I consider you my brother/sister and there would be very little I wouldn't do for you. I stay in touch through thick and thin. I think that the friend is used to casually these days. I can't even bring myself to "Friend" a friend as he already knows this.

However, if I could "Pal" or "Bud" you, my list may possibly crash the servers.

I do truly appreciate ALL the members of ATS and the staff and owners that make this site such as it is. Kudos to you all.

Are my self imposed standards to tough? Should I be a little more flexible?

I've been friended here and I do feel humble and honored, but cannot bring myself to do the same for others, no matter how much I like their threads/posts. A part of me feels guilty.

im with you there, i have not used this function here mainly because i'm online and people online are not worth being a friend to, heck i don't even know anyone here why would i want to be their friend?

actually i think about 80% of the people that visit this site, including staff, are mentally ill and that includes myself to some degree i suppose. like this one lady, don't remember her name, but she seems to be on almost every alien thread bashing anti alien rhetoric down everyone's throats, i noticed it in 10 minutes tonight and i don't actually ever read the alien or ufo threads.

moral to my story, don't bother beating yourself up over some children's game of "online friending" it really is a joke bud. you could get some whack job stalking you, so be careful man.

reply to post by TownCryer


I don't see myself as being special, well except to me anyways...maybe others do as well, but I'd rather not hear about it as that makes me uncomfortable. LOL

When I wrote the thread, I had been "Friended" by three people in one day and that just got me to thinking. I don't tweet nor do facebook and really don't understand why people spend so much time following others on-line when we all have real life to deal with.

However, there are members here who I do like, mainly because of their writing style and how they convey their message or sense of humor. So I just give them stars or flags. I guess that's a "Like" isn't it?

Just writing this thread helped me understand my simple conundrum though. And I do mean it was so simple that I didn't see it at the time.

reply to post by LittleBlackEagle


Oh, I don't know. There are some members here I would like to meet. Just out of curiosity, ya know? But are they friends?, nope, not until I meet them in person. Buds maybe (that sounds friendlier than acquaintances don't it?)

I'm not sure I would say 80% are mildly insane, but yep, we do have some members who are definitely out there.

I use my friends list to lull anonymous internet avatars into a false sense of security...

Å99

I dont even know how to add a friend.

I have had a couple people add me the last couple weeks, I just dont know how to reciprocate.