posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 09:23 AM
First off, I should admit, that I am in my 40’s. Hate to admit that, but for the purpose of this thread, it’s necessary. Because I can relate,
from the “then” side of this issue. I was bullied.
It first happened to me, in 4th grade, when I was in an inner city school. I had a young lady, threaten to beat me up, every day for at least a
month. When another girl finally confronted the bully for me, she asked why she was doing this. Her response? “to see if she could make me
cry.” Well, she did. It hurt, but I never told my mom about it. We were poor, and she had plenty of ammunition to get me to cry every day. The
thing is, with bullying back then, even if you had a bully, or a group of them, as girls are known to do, you always had friends that would stand by
you, if only one or two.
Well, luckily, in 5th grade, we moved to a small town, were I thought things would be different. Yeah, I was wrong. My mom had remarried, so we
weren’t exactly poor anymore, but 80% of the kids I went to school with now had designer clothes, huge homes and had been in school together since
kindergarten. So, I was again picked on, just for being new. It wasn’t as bad as before, so I just dealt. I made a few friends, managed to get
through to middle school, where it stopped for the most part and things were good.
I only had one problem later, and that was in high school. It went on for about a week. Finally, my little 95 lb. self had had enough. I met her
after school. Needless to say, she never picked on me again and wanted to be friends afterwards.
Now, I never became a bully to anyone else. I did have one instance, when a girl on our bus was picking on my younger sister.
I did slap that girl in the face, and tell her she better not do it again, or I would do worse to her. I handled it in one day, then left her
Now, my mom got a phone call from her mom. I was expecting to be in a lot of trouble. Never happened. My mom politely told her, she should ask her
daughter why it happened, and if she didn’t understand why after her daughter told her, she would send me up to explain. I never had to go, and my
sister never had another problem.
The thing about bulling back then, was that it was always local. It was always to your face. And I’m not sure if it was just a girl thing, but I
always had at least one friend that I could talk to about it. And the big thing was, when we became a family, was that both of my parents let me know
it was ok to defend myself, and that I could talk to them.
The problem with bullying now, from what I’ve seen, and read about, is that there are so many ways to get to the victim. First you have the face to
face, old school behavior. At school, on the bus, walking home, etc.
But my goodness, think about how many other angles they can come at other kids these days. It is mind boggling. You have the social media, where one
post, true or not, can become viral. You’ve got things like photoshop, where you can make things up that could ruin a person. You’ve got
youtube, where you can do the same. You’ve got every child with a cell phone, texting multiple people at a time.
Ok, so the victim should just stay off the internet right? Fine. But does that keep the bully from posting things about you, and spreading them?
So, you still go to school the next day, with the whole school making fun of you for something you never even said or did?
It just boggles my mind, that while technology has done so much, we seem to be raising more and more children per generation, that do not understand
consequences, and lack compassion, somewhat due to not having to see your consequences first hand. Face it, you can be a bully today, without ever
having to face you victim, or even really knowing who they are!
I don’t blame all this on technology. I think it is a combination of things. We have parents that are not involved in their children’s lives,
allowing technology to “babysit”. We have the “coddling” of our children, through schools with their ridiculous rules, so nobody’s feelings
get hurt and nobody loses. We have schools with no common sense, teaching children that if they get spanked, that is child abuse and should call the
police. We have court systems for juveniles, telling parents that these children have more rights than the parents and then not enforcing the
probation these children may be put on. And don’t even get me started on the whole “drugging our youth” culture we seem to be accepting.
So where does that leave us?
With a young girl, actually making a post after another takes her own life, saying that she doesn’t give a F.
I don’t think things were perfect, when I was young. But the changes that were made, trying to “fix” the problems of then, have went so far to
the other end of the spectrum, I honestly am afraid for future generations. I don't know of a quick fix. I don't believe we just need more laws.
I do believe we need more parents to actually parent. Beyond that, there aren't any easy answers.