.. tonight was the first time I cried in front of her... but I smiled even in the tears....
It's God's own truth. I was there, I saw it. The woman had tears running down her face, yet maintained a smile, and you could even hear the smile in
It's a hard conversation to have, on both sides. There is never any "right" thing to say. Afterwards, there is always a lot of "I shoulda
said...", but in truth there just isn't anything right to say. You have "the talk", as best you can, and then THAT conversation is behind you, and
you get on with making the time left memorable and comforting. You do your best. OB did a great job of keeping it together an on track - she done
Our daughter, for her part, was having just as much difficulty delivering the news. She's known for a couple of days (since Wednesday, I suspect) and
didn't know how to go about presenting it. She knew it was going to hurt people, and didn't want to be the bearer of that news. She wouldn't talk
to her mom at all night before last, because she didn't know HOW to. OB was in a bit of a tizzy, wondering why she wouldn't talk to her, so I knew
something was up. Same with OB's mom - the daughter didn't want to talk to her, because she didn't know HOW to talk to her.
That's the kind of kid she is. Here she is the one dying, and worrying over how to make OTHER folks comfortable with it.
I answered the phone when she called, and the first words out of her mouth were "I need you to do me a favor. I need you to be there for mom, and
make sure she's ok, because I've got some bad news to tell." That was it. Rather than screaming "dammit I'm DYING!" she wanted to make sure her
mom was OK through it. So I said "aiight, no problem", handed the phone over, and sat down to wait.
I talked to her some the night before. She never said anything much about it then, either, but because of the tone of the conversation I pretty well
knew what was up. She's scared, as she has a right to be. We talked about life in general and death in general, and then she went to sleep to rest up
and gather herself to deliver the news the next day.
She's keeping a positive attitude. How, I don't know, but she is. I can only hope I've got half that attitude when my own time comes.
That's my little trooper.