Workplace Bullying

boncho
All of you have made up your minds what has happened in your independent situations, that what happened was the only option, that there was no way around, that it's over and done with and you lost. I can't change any of that, nor the way you guys think.

I can tell you I dealt with a pretty big episode where one of my proteges was being harassed by a friend of the director, that I lost sleep over it, that we came up with a few different tactics and eventually succeeded, we won.

Nothing is impossible, but if you all believe you are going to be victims and there is no way around it, like I said, nothing I can do.

My advice is seek out aide when something like this is building before it gets out of control. Seek out mentors in the companies you have and stand up for yourselves, dont let people step on your toes. Know the landscape as well, if subsection c5 state ______ but the status quo is x, x is going to win your battle not subsection c5.

Hind sight seems to be 20/20 with you guys and no one thinks it could have gone differently. That is the kind of conditioning you have to get out of your heads.

This seems to be all about you. What is your occupation and what are your credentials to be a workplace .....whatever you think you are.

onequestion
reply to post by sulaw

 

No that's rediculous.

everything isn't just personal responsibility.

We aren't as individual as you people try to make everyone think.

We are a community and we need to start functioning like one and workin together before we kill ourselves.

Can't stand your perspective anymore it's so harmful and ignorant just shut up.

I suppose women and handicapped people need to stand up to bullies too and become punching bags to prove they're being bullied? Or they,could go out to their car bring in a 9mm and shoot the offending party and say "there! now you have to believe me. I was mad enough to kill them".

Standing up for yourself, sure, everyone should. But often the odds are stacked heavily against you or the other person has little to lose while you have a family you're responsible for. Then sometimes you face people you seriously wonder how far they would be willing to escalate the situation? Some folks are just crazy and I wouldn't want to have to wonder the rest of my life if they might be stalking me.

Tough talk is well and fine but real world doesn't always give people many options to defend themselves.

reply to post by boncho


Well I gave you my story. I have the documentation to PROVE that this is a one sided attack on my reputation, and my impeccable work history.

So.....

If the Owner, CFO, and Management ALL believe you are wrong, and are unwilling to bend, I should try and fight it or just shut my mouth and take the abuse?

I would like to know what my "legal" rights are then if you know..

BTW, non-Union shop if that helps.

reply to post by boncho


This was a temp job doing mechanical fabrication. I'm an engraver by trade but needed work while I transitioned from engraving guns to jewelry. I know metals and had some machine shop experience.
This was a small company, 6 employees and an absentee owner for the most part. The guys that hassled me were the 2 machinists that were good at what they did but total Aholes on the personal level.
Take responsibility for what? Showing up on time every day, doing what was asked without complaint, trying to be helpful? Asking when I was unsure of something because I wanted to do the work right but they don't want to be bothered?
I didn't "start" anything with anyone. I'm actually easy to get along with at a job because I'm upbeat and do my best. I don't stand around when I run out of work because I was paid by the hour. My biggest fault was being unfamiliar with some tools and processes but what do you expect when you hire help for $10/hr?
Sure, I made mistakes but nothing costly. I reassembled a pump one time and left a part out accidentally but that will happen when you come to work when you have the flu but go anyway. I was also the only one to clean the bathroom, everyone was "overqualified". lol.
The jobs we had were often dirty and dangerous. Replacing parts in giant machines using all kinds of slap hazard methods, often without having the right tools. I could understand their frustrations but they took it out on me for some reason. My only mistake was talking politics one day and since I wasn't a Bush worshipper or believed in the GWOT maybe that painted a target on my back.
Whatever, I never argued with them.

I just don't think some people will understand until it happens to them.
Ftr - I didn't like it when all this bullying stuff about schools turned up on tv. Seemed way overblown to me, just as it is in the business world. Some people are manipulators and see this as one more way to gain power. We should all expect a certain amount of friction in dealing with others but sometimes it does go way beyond what anyone should have to deal with.

As for my hands I wish I had filed for workplace injury. A year later I was still waking up some nights with horrible cramps in my hands and it affected my work as well requiring me to stop every few hours whereas it I didn't have to before this job.

sonnny1
reply to post by boncho

 

Well I gave you my story. I have the documentation to PROVE that this is a one sided attack on my reputation, and my impeccable work history.

So.....

If the Owner, CFO, and Management ALL believe you are wrong, and are unwilling to bend, I should try and fight it or just shut my mouth and take the abuse?

I would like to know what my "legal" rights are then if you know..

BTW, non-Union shop if that helps.

Unless you can find others to come forward...hard to find those guys, when the going gets tough, write down a daily journal. Don't show it to management, camera phones are good and some record audio. Weigh the options with your pay and the fact you might not have your job. This will linger in the courts for several years and the other side will try to wear you down. YOU will be on trial and scrutinized and the co. has deeeep pockets. I have been thru this, it's a bad thing.

reply to hpost by sonnny1


Ow, dude. My dad worked in printing and lithography most of his life until he started teaching it. Sounds like you work for a # shop. Heart-rending to read your posts brother, when you not only do your best for years but then get screwed in favor of others in the clique that has to be torture and aggravation. Sorry you have to deal with such unmentionable substitutes for human beings.

Hang in there brother. Good pressmen don't grow on trees so somebody out there needs your skills and abilities, I hope they find you soon.

Cheers,
ATA

I brought this subject up not for my benefit. It was posted so that others can express their experience's and be able to express their feelings. As I said, many people keep this problem to themselves and don't share with family members or friends. We all want to look and seem strong to those close to us, and we are. All workplace conflicts are different and tough to fix, but some are way over the top and cross over the line. Find a friend and family member to talk with. So when you walk thru that corporate door you have 2 people that can stare them in the eye. Tell the truth.

reply to post by boncho


Boncho, you are missing one simple fact here: you can control your workplace environment from a top-down perspective. The others here cannot. They have people in your position at their workplace that don't give a damn.

The environments are poor for being a productive employee.

I totally get what your saying. And we take a very similarly direct approach. But Sonny, despite have company policy on his side, has a management team that just ignores their own policy as they see fit. I think you and I both know that if the corrective actions he has on file are not in compliance with documented policy, they are evidence of harrassment and a hostile work environment.

Not everyone is accustomed to swimming in shallow ponds with big sharks.

There will always be sociopaths at work but one thing I found is when management lets things go to an over the top level (physical violence, entire group quitting, screaming matches, blatant EEOC violations) management WANTS this dysfunction to continue. It's a good diversion from management's incompetence or illegal acts.


I have had many years with bullies. My primary occupation tends to attract a lot of very aggressive mean spirited people. (and tends to be male dominated and I'm a woman). Anytime things were allowed to continue, it was almost ALWAYS something illegal or unethical going on with management.

A big, big cause of many problems at work is "networking" which is just a real nice term for connected good old boys. Be careful if many people in the organization seem way under qualified for their position, it's usually a bad, bad sign. In this economy, a huge percentage of jobs are traded between family and friends (I hire your buddy, you hire mine).

As for a solution, I haven't really found one. You can TRY to stand up to them but in reality they usually CAN get away with their behavior regardless of your reaction.

sonnny1
reply to post by boncho

 

Well I gave you my story. I have the documentation to PROVE that this is a one sided attack on my reputation, and my impeccable work history.

So.....

If the Owner, CFO, and Management ALL believe you are wrong, and are unwilling to bend, I should try and fight it or just shut my mouth and take the abuse?

I would like to know what my "legal" rights are then if you know..

BTW, non-Union shop if that helps.

I can't give you specifics because I don't know your location but most likely if you are in the US, you have very few rights. Unless it has to do with race, sex, or disability there's very few protections. Deal with it or quit are probably your two options.

HOWEVER, you might just want to check in with a lawyer anyway. You'll need another job and a clean reference. A 15 minute letter threatening slander might shut them up. it probably won't save your job but it's probably one you don't want anyway.

Go to the gym and don't let ANYBODY treat you like #, if they do, make sure you let them know you wont stand for it. I'm not advocating physical violence what so ever. but being physically imposing and strong of stature can help you deal with people who think they can push you around... Especially once they realise they have no 'real' power over you at all.

reply to post by SPYvsSPY


Well done.

Excellent.

. . . the old bit about . . . all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for the good to be silent . . . comes to mind.

Courage is not always easy in many such situations.

Risks are involved.

Nevertheless . . . silence perpetuates the horrors.

reply to post by SPYvsSPY


I get abused right now by room-mates and don't really have a way out of the situation.

reply to post by darkbake


Perhaps pondering the following might be of value . . . doing so WISELY . . .

1. The smallest part of a system can influence the whole system. Just think how much attention an ingrown little toenail can foster.

2. Do something unexpected . . . particularly sacrificially servant-heartedly constructive and unexpected.

Not groveling. But . . . maturely . . . an unexpected serious level unwarranted kindness to the jerks.

3. Oppositional stuff tends to foster more resistance, opposition, hostility.

4. Shockingly unexpected sacrificial servant-hearted kindness CAN overwhelm even some pretty hard-hearted jerky blokes. But it can take time . . . weeks, even months. On the other hand, it can win the day in a flash.

here is australia we are now seeing the latest series of the popular "deadliest catch" show. the 2013 season.

i think we are about 3 months behind the u.s.a seeing this.

i have been absolutely stunned this series to see the bullying on the "wizzard". the young greenhorn seemed a nice young kid. they werent catching much crab so the captain and freddie (prev. cornelia marie) decided to shave stupid haircuts. they asked the greenhorn and he refused. he said he wouldnt be pressured and felt like he was being hazed. up to this point he had been performing his job and everything seemed fine.

once he refused freddies request he was subject to the most bullying i have ever seen on a reality program. it was absolutely disgusting.

i dont know what the laws are like in alaska, but i can promise you that if this was in australia and the proof was there in film like in this case....old captain keith would be signing over ownership of his boat by the time the courts finished with him.

i used to love freddie and think keith was caring, but now i cant stand them. and the young bloke who was subject to this can absolutely hold his head high.

Are there any other deadliest catch fans here that have seen what im talking about ????.....was there much outcry in any other countries this has been shown ???

reply to post by sonnny1


anybody can get fired its up to YOU to find the way

I think my point, through all this is, lets say there is anti-bullying legislation. And a simple call to the cops would turn your workplace upside down. All the people you guys all feel wronged you are dealt with. Is the problem solved?

You have to deal with assholes your whole life, and you have to realize we all have underlying personality traits that make us assholes to different people.

Recognizing these things on either side is the only thing that will get you by throughout your life to keep it as positive as possible.

reply to post by sonnny1

..."Lucky to have a job"...

Sonny - you understand that in this economy, even when it's not spoken out loud - this is the law of the land these days

It's happened to me, family, friends - recourse is not what it used to be in the workplace

There are workplace bullies - coups - dynasties - however bad it may have been, right now - bottom line is: you're lucky to have a job

They know - there are 100 more just like you looking to have yours. Doesn't matter that you're a quality employee - they don't owe you anything and they don't have to work to keep you

My last real job - in the corporate environment - had me working for free for a period of time - on the promise that I wouldn't be let go during company wide (nation-wide) lay-offs

:-)

Who was I going to complain to?

Long story, but - honestly? With fewer lily pads to leap to - we do what we have to do to keep the situation we're in

I feel for you - I don't even have a family to support

Times are tough. Keep looking, but also - keep on keeping on

reply to post by Spiramirabilis



reply to post by Asktheanimals



Thanks for the support.

Its a shame in this day and age that the "me first" attitude has destroyed my Country. That is really what this boils down to. When you have workers willing to give their all, and others who will systematically break you down, for the sake of a buck, or the sake of power. All I can do is fight on.

ATS does have great folks who realize real life is but a response away.

boncho
I think my point, through all this is, lets say there is anti-bullying legislation. And a simple call to the cops would turn your workplace upside down. All the people you guys all feel wronged you are dealt with. Is the problem solved?

You have to deal with assholes your whole life, and you have to realize we all have underlying personality traits that make us assholes to different people.

Recognizing these things on either side is the only thing that will get you by throughout your life to keep it as positive as possible.

This is exactly correct. It is wrong to get police involved in employment issues. The employer has domain over their workplace, save actual legal issues. Since we have a good, solid relationship with the local PD, even if they are serving a warrant, they will go to the backdoor to meet the employee rather than disrupt the workplace with legal stuff.

If your employer is not following their policies, at least in Texas, you have a case. If you are being "bullied", you may have a case for a lawsuit ("hostile work environment"....you just need to shows damages to present a case).

But you will have to deal with assholes everywhere. Here, on ATS, you have me. But in the real world they are much, much worse (because I actually like humanity, most of the time). You just have to deal with it. At my place we have this one guy everyone hates. Dealing with the fallout of his daily duties takes around 3 hours of my day, each day. He'll eventually work his way out the door....until then, we just deal with it.