Workplace Bullying

Bullying can be a two way street.
I was a middle manager at a non profit agency and one of my staff asked to work from home the next day as she claimed she had more room to spread out her work. I ok'ed it and asked her to email me the results of her work so I could review it in the evening. I often reviewed these reports during the evening as I was often too busy during the day.
Well the next day, after work, I stopped at a local pub and one of my friends mentioned that she had seen this worker win at the afternoon BINGO. I got home and checked E-mail and there was no report from my worker. The next day, I asked the worker about the report and she said she had forgot to send it. I said OK, send it now, she replied that she had trouble with her computer and could not send it. I commented on hearing that she had been at BINGO and that perhaps she had not actually got any work done.
She went to my supervisor and filed a complaint for bullying. I ended up with a written reprimand for this and some of my staff 3 of 5 essentially quit respecting my authority and started complaining to my supervisor every time I tried to get them to follow standards. I was eventually offered a buy out from the agency to avoid dismissal for not doing my job.

reply to post by sulaw

No that's rediculous.

everything isn't just personal responsibility.

We aren't as individual as you people try to make everyone think.

We are a community and we need to start functioning like one and workin together before we kill ourselves.

Can't stand your perspective anymore it's so harmful and ignorant just shut up.

Recently started work in a call centre and you know who's doing the bullying? The female staff against other female staff - Its hilarious and tragic to watch these women stab each other in the back and smile to your face. They're seriously crazy.

About 15 years ago, i worked for a large UK company as a designer/salesman. I'd just won a company sales competition out of 13,000 staff and at the same time, a new sales manager had come in. I think he saw me as one of the main men and wanted to make his mark so he began making life difficult.

First of all, he re-assigned me to another department, one which i didn't like and selling products that i didn't know. Initially, i wasn't very good on this new department, and he would come onto the shop floor and have a go. He'd also physically push me and give me a few verbals. My morale hit the floor, and worse was to come when i started to get warnings for poor sales.

It reached the point where i'd had enough. One day, he made a comment as he walked by, so i picked up the closest thing to hand, a glue pot, and threw it at his head. Unfortunately, it missed and hit another member of staff on the wrist and injured him. It was a mistake on my part but i was taking so much abuse that i didn't care if i lost my job.

I'd put up with this grief for about a year before it was sorted. I was standing outside having a cigarette after work when he came out and started abusing me. I ignored him so he pushed me. Before i realised it, i'd flattened him. He reported me to head office, who refused to take action because it was off company premises and outside of company time. I took the opportunity to inform him that if he pushed me again, i'd wait until after work and i'd open him up. I rarely had any trouble from him after that.

The moral of this story is that if some-one thinks they can bully you at work, find a way to hit back. People bully because they think they can get away with it. As soon as you show them that you're prepared to bully back and capable of doing so, they'll crawl back under their rock.

reply to post by TKDRL


Absofriggenlutely!!! I knew I liked this furry Gizmo for a reason! Well said!

@Thread~

Point being ~ Stand up for yourself! If someone backed me up against a wall and put a boxknife to my anywhere, someone would be leaving in a ambulance. Me, the bully or both but the point is DON"T TAKE THAT CRAP!

We as a evolving society need to raise our young to not be pushovers and to be able to fend for themselves. There's to many children to accept being bullied and then at the last fart of a second snap and pull out daddy's guns and go on a rampage. WHY! IMHO they were never taught to protect there's and when one is pushed far enough on a continual basis they reach out in the worst of ways thinking THIS IS THE ONLY WAY! When gettin a black eye for standing up for yourself and not playing the victim roll is a better choice! I'd rather get my ass kicked and to label a few bullies and for them to know you can't do that to me than to be continually be bullied and play a sissy. And if you are a Sissy and can't protect yourself! You learn to! Find a friend who will stand up for you~!

I'll fetching stand up for you! You being bullied!? Let me know! I'll verbally abuse the bully and make a bully cry! And if it goes to fistacuffs I'll knock that SOB out!~

As we can see many are oblivious to this problem. Nice tidy little workplace.....no. Detroit, and I'm ex 25th inf div. Maybe that's why I could put up with all of it! Most wouldn't have lasted a month. And most didn't.

reply to post by SPYvsSPY


yes i have I lost my medical benefits, my wife(which is a good thing now, but not at the time), and now I only get to see my kids half the time.

Every person I worked with knew I was being ganged up on and would make jokes about it, I knew I was being ganged up on and watched. Even though I was one of the better workers there, i wasn't in the cool kids group so I was being watched every step i took to see if i would slip up, i was used as a tool to train new managers on how to discipline employees even though half the sh*t I did wasn't nothing compared to what the cool kids got away with.

The whole situation was starting to ware on me and my mental state. Then one day I was driving home from work and this song came on the radio.



It seemed to fit my situation completely(i worked night shift)

The next day I decided to do something about my situation, instead of having the victim mentality and blaming others.

What did i DO? i drank three bottles of wine and went in to work, i worked hard as I could till I was sweating Cabernet Sauvignon. I was then called up to the office and fired.

It was the best day of my adult life(minus the kids being born)

I went out and found a job I love and am still doing it to this day.

"Cant start a Fire with out a Spark"

So I suggest to any "victims"(a term i use loosely) instead of blaming others for your problems be the change you want see.



and btw with moves that its no wonder they call him the boss

reply to post by onequestion


I'm sorry, what's that slurpie cup girl???

No that's rediculous.

everything isn't just personal responsibility.

We aren't as individual as you people try to make everyone think.

We are a community and we need to start functioning like one and workin together before we kill ourselves.

Can't stand your perspective anymore it's so harmful and ignorant just shut up.

Just shut up??? Is that not a form of verbal bullying??? Guilty!!! This is ATS not a dictatorship ran by OneStatement as ignorrant as telling a poster to shut up!

I agree with some of the points you stated in this forum but your wrong. It is the Individuals responsibility to not play the victim and to stand up for themselves.

What do you mean by YOU PEOPLE??? People like me who don't take crap from others, like when a poster tells you to shut up on a forum website with people from all walks of life????

Let me tell you in a language you will understand...

AS IF

reply to post by sulaw


You people designates people who think every situation is as simple as you propose.

reply to post by onequestion


It's got nothing to do with being a victim. Apparently your experience is limited. It's not as simple as that when your livelihood is as stake.

reply to post by onequestion


Nay~ I postulated that people need to stand up! If a scenerio goes beyond that point then other means of intervention need to take place.

I.E~ Human Resources, BBA, the fetching Police!

The point was to not play and utilize a victim mentality and to stand in your integrity.

I'm sorry I came off as an asshole, it's not my intentions... And I love your slurpie cup... My apologies.

Best regards,

onequestion
reply to post by DocHolidaze

 

Your an asshole for trying to minimalize this issue by pretending that we shouldn't address this as a continually evolving species with a continually evolving social paradigm.

Another joker trying to inhibit social progress.

wow name calling in a public forum because you dont like my opinion? That is bullying if i ever saw it,

get a grip kid and realize we live in a world were nothing will ever be politically correct no matter how many organizations, awareness rally's , committees , or movements "we" create.

And i put the term "we" in quotations because most of the time the elites are the ones that push these movements on the people to garner support, funnel funds, and manipulate the masses.

SPYvsSPY
reply to post by boncho

 

Smells and fingernails. Do you think I would post this about smells and nail clippings. How about a box knife to the throat and physical assault on several occasions. These were mergers and some were afraid of the change. Wanted to take out some kind of strange payback on others.

edit on 2-9-2010 by SPYvsSPY because: (no reason given)

There's obviously more to the story than you are letting on. Don't bother with a sob story unless you want to be upfront about all the facts because there are those of us on the forum who don't bite at this kind of thing, sorry.

sulaw
reply to post by onequestion

 

Nay~ I postulated that people need to stand up! If a scenerio goes beyond that point then other means of intervention need to take place.

I.E~ Human Resources, BBA, the fetching Police!

The point was to not play and utilize a victim mentality and to stand in your integrity.

I'm sorry I came off as an asshole, it's not my intentions... And I love your slurpie cup... My apologies.

Best regards,

There you go. Problem Number Effin 1 with society today. The erode away confidence and independence from the early years and consistently try and beat this whining victim mentality to everyone.

I was bullied in grade school, until I learned you just have to confront people. Speak up. Speak your peace. If you are justified people will support you and others will look like asses.

I can't recall the last time someone actually irked me to the point I was upset about it, something bothers me about someone I tell them, I force them to address it, and I look for recourse. Done, over with, move on, back to work.

I had a business partnership taht went way south. Where someone was trying to bully me. Leaving beyon verbal threats on my cell phone, and for once in my existance felt as if this individual would carry through with some very explicit threats to my life.

So I stopped, looked at the phone and first thought... What the fetch... A telephone toughguy... Wow... he sounds really serious... I better take this to the Police... Just in case.... (gotta cover the bases)

Went to the po po!!! Who low and behold was my old neighbor and know's me personally... He literally laughed when he heard the voicemails... He says~

"Nathan, I'm more worried about what you will do to him, what would you like me to do?"

Me~ I'm notifying the Police that if this douche tart shows up at my residence he will be leaving with a crossbow bolt in a black bag.

"Officer Curly: Thank you for bringing this to our attention and your good to go"

This is how you cover your ass! Document, Document, Document!!!

Don't stand up, don't cover yours, prepare to be bullied. Cover yours and notify the proper authorities, then if said bully shows up and it's as bad as any individual postulates, that's your right to defend and conquer.

Is this OK??? No. I did not appreciate the voicemails nor were they warranted. Nor do I like being physical. I'd rather live like Buhda!

But peace is not an option in this world. Maybe while we sleep as long as there is no nightmares, but that's shorter lived than the reality we wake up to.

It has been my opinion for awhile now, that the first to cry foul is often the first to have committed a foul.

Political backstabbing should be considered a form of bullying. These people don't dare stand up to you, so they make lots of false accusations, and make ridiculous complaints to HR.

There are many managers who have their favorites, and bully everyone else with political backstabbing. One of the techniques is to avoid actually doing any work, unless it is easy and requires no level of responsibility. There are lots of people who play these games. They stay on the sidelines, while the people willing to take the risk in order to make things happen work to get things done, and then the political players either wait to dish out the blame for anything that goes wrong, or take credit for the achievements, even though they contributed nothing, and made things more difficult.

There is nothing worse than managers who think they can manage work that they don't understand.

The new technique is to contract out certain positions, to companies with a "work at will" policy, which means that if people at the contracting company want you gone, they can fire you without and reason.

I have both witnessed and been a victim of this both by the management and other employees, in fact, it is often encouraged in many atmospheres.

I sold cars for one of the largest dealers in the country.

Here's how it went:
-Hired 28 workers all at once to sell cars and may the best man win (on average the dealership sold maybe 2 to 3 cars a day)

-pay $250 for sales training and after 6 months you would be reimbursed.

-You get min wage pay if you do not sell a car, but must pay that back with the cars you do sell.

-We were not encouraged to lie, but we were encouraged to not tell the truth. (example: when I would be honest with a customer about a car, I was often brought into a conference with the manager and was always told this "why did you tell them that, they never asked about it")

-many times you would spend weeks working with a customer only to find out that they had talked to another sales associate a few weeks, months or even years (had been a previous customer of another sales associate) before and the sales associate would take the sale from you. Often it was a veteran sales associate who had worked their for years.

-Other sales associates and managers would degrade you for doing "what is right".

-You would be required to work 60+ hours per week and if you needed a few hours off to take care of a family situation, you were subject to harassment from the managers then would lose your day off.

-NO one was allowed Saturdays off, you were let go if you ever asked for one.

-The biggest form of harassment came from the financial person. He often berated you and would often give the customer something for "free" that he got commission on, but in reality it wasn't free, it was taken off your commission check.

-Last but not least, if you complain about anything, you get fired

I will never work for another car dealer - EVER and I was damn good at it too. But my morals keep me from it. I regret to say that after several months working there, I started to change and not for the better. But eventually it got to me and I reported many of the things going on and was fired for doing so, but not before they belittled me and told me how bad of a person I was for "blowing the whistle" on them.

If we didn't have a cartoon video this entire post would not exist. For some reason the video cameras at work would stop working at certain times. How convenient. And as my OP states this was a family run business that I was sorta tossed into to help to transition the merger. Lots of things aren't as simple as it appears. That's why we are reading this. Also the other members who respond with man up or.....I would kick some A$$. I don't think you would or could have.

DocHolidaze
reply to post by SPYvsSPY

 

work place disease

I think the term disease is a little over the top, further more I think the whole bullying sensation that has taken the world by storm is a little over the top as well, there has always been bullys and there always will be, back in thhe day they were called "a$$holes". I think this is a situation were the individual just needs to confront the ahole or remove themselves from the situation. In the words of Too Short "get in were you fit in"

I'm dealing with it right now.

I took today off, regardless on how much work there is. Yes, they are A-holes. Respect. Pride. They have none. Yes, I am looking for a new Job, but when you have three children to take care of its hard. 6 years at a company, all the time given. Its sad.

boncho

SPYvsSPY
reply to post by boncho

 

Smells and fingernails. Do you think I would post this about smells and nail clippings. How about a box knife to the throat and physical assault on several occasions. These were mergers and some were afraid of the change. Wanted to take out some kind of strange payback on others.

edit on 2-9-2010 by SPYvsSPY because: (no reason given)

There's obviously more to the story than you are letting on. Don't bother with a sob story unless you want to be upfront about all the facts because there are those of us on the forum who don't bite at this kind of thing, sorry.

You have to be joking. Most persons who have experienced this keep it to themselves. I worked in an area called the snake pit. Copier machine repair...wish you were there.