What would cause this? (Personal ongoing experience)

TDawgRex
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

One of the things that I have found in life life is that if you are always looking for lies, you will find them. At some point you must trust.

But verify.

What a web we weave, eh?

Sadly I never will completely it is not possible unless someone could wash my brain of the past, I think I am as far as I can go in trusting.
The important thing is I did not get involved with someone without being sure they understood this and how it may be for them. Took many years but eventually I met someone like me, I don't mind my husband looking at my mail, my purse or anything at all, i have no secrets and I expect open doors.

blend57
reply to post by aptrgangr

 

3) is he abnormally gregarious? Does he seem to get along with everyone in his presence, yet outside his presence, some confess he's a bit odd/they're a bit uncomfortable? Also, does he get his way on topics of choice often?

Pretty sure it won't help the situation, but I'm going to have to give him some reason why I won't "hang" with him and his friend pretty soon, or he is going to be carrying around some resentment towards me.

Thanks,
Blend57

Well, there are empowering steps you can take to keep your energy to yourself. Even if he is not doing any energy feeding, this can only be of benefit to you so I'd focus on that before telling your husband you have any concrete proof. The way the dog acted, unless it's a nervous dog who does that to everyone, I'd take that as a sign of something odd and I'm not saying "animals can sense energy feeders because they do bad things" But it may be more mundane than that. Animals love me and some people would classify me as predatory.

reply to post by blend57

(your a secret agent, aren't you

)

Shhhh!!! See, now you know too much...

Really though, do report back if you uncover the mystery of the car seat!!!

reply to post by Char-Lee


Good for you!



May many happy years follow.

Unfortunately, at this point you are reacting to your reaction, i.e.: You can't get back to "square one" with this guy because of your past reactions. But bear in mind that he has (apparently) done nothing wrong, so it is you who are responsible for your reaction, not him. There's nothing he can do. So you need to find a way to deescalate the situation yourself.

One way to do this might be to find something else to do when he comes around, but in such a manner that it is not obvious you are avoiding him. In other words, don't just run from the room screaming when he comes in, but greet him affably, then excuse yourself for a pre-planned outing or whatever. I would discuss this with your husband, too, and try to get him in on helping you deescalate. You really are trying to "stop this," right? So he ought to help you. You don't want to push him away over this.

The car seat thing. You sure the car is locked? Commandeer the keys. Second, bear in mind that since your husband is bigger, he cannot get into the car when the seat is set for you, but you CAN get into the car when the seat is set for him. So the best place to set the seat is in the long position, because then you can both get in. This is an issue at our house, too. If my wife knows I will be driving next, she will often set the seat back for me.

Interesting problem, really. You must be picking up on something. He reminds you of something "bad" or he has something "bad" going on that you are sensing. Sorry it's happening to you.

Unfortunately, at this point you are reacting to your reaction, i.e.: You can't get back to "square one" with this guy because of your past reactions. But bear in mind that he has (apparently) done nothing wrong, so it is you who are responsible for your reaction, not him. There's nothing he can do. So you need to find a way to deescalate the situation yourself.

reply to post by schuyler


I know, I really hate it that I can't be even in the same house with him. And, because I am aware it's happening, I could be making it worse by knowing/expecting it to occur. So, in essence, it could very well be all in my head.

I have been trying to not make it noticable for him, but he has to have some idea that I'm avoiding him by now. I mean, three out of four times I have mysteriously dissappeared upon his arrival.

The thoughts/ideas people have been posting to this thread have been helpful as well. I really didn't think about him being an empath or putting a piece of paper in the door to my car before I go to sleep at night.

Or the easy entry/exit thing in my car. (looked in the owners manual, nothing yet)
Those things I will research more and see what comes up.

So, as soon as it happens again, I will post it up here and keep documenting it to see if there is a pattern. Hopefully it is something simple like cologne or perfume. At least that I can fix.

Thanks again for all the replies, very helpful and a lot of info to digest.

Thanks,
Blend57

Park your car. Mark where the front tires end up. Like take a small rock and place it in front of each tire. Then if he backs out with the car, he likely won't repark it exactly at the pebble you placed to mark the tire. Then also when you park the car turn the steering wheel way over to one side. so if he reparks that would have to be replaced to if he is taking the car. Why not just do some background and research on this friend and see if you're suspicions are right. But it might just be insecurities. Like you feel like the third wheel because your husban has a friend. And because infact your husband and his friend are secretly gay lovers, you feel jealous and don't want the gay lover to come around and try and steal your husband away from you.

reply to post by blend57


Here's a couple of questions. You don't have to answer here, but you do have to answer yourself honestly.

Has your husband known this guy longer than you?

Do either your husband or his friend play pranks?

Does your husband listen to this guy more than he does you? (Hey, we're guys, sometimes that is just the way it is...doesn't mean we're right, right?)

Lots more where those came from.

Could it be that your jealous? In the teensyist bit?

reply to post by spartacus699

Wow...

Just wow.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't give you license to pass it on to the rest of us. Go back to your van.

reply to post by spartacus699


LOL! I would not be and I am not jealous of his friend/gay lover. If that is where his interests lie, so be it. And I don't believe that I would become physically sick over it. But you never know, maybe I am getting a vibe.....

Seriously, I don't think he is gay, bisexual maybe, but not straight up gay. As he is my husband, I can tell you the bedroom gig is fine (Somehow I think this thread is drifting...)

Anyways, thanks for your reply

Thanks,
Blend57

reply to post by TDawgRex

No, no, no , and no. Not jealous, my husband and I have a strong marriage and I don't have any reason to be jealous. He won't even go to the movies without me. And he makes sure the time he spends with his friend is when I am not at home or he has asked if it was o.k. first if I am at home.

There is absolutely no reason to be jealous/upset when he is going out of his way to show me I come first.

Thats why this is so puzzling, I cannot come up with a logical reason as to why I would get headaches (sorry, migraines) and feel sick just because of him.

Except for the one suggested by several posters, that I am allergic to his cologne/soap/ etc..Which i am going to ask my husband about tonight when he gets home.

Thanks for your replies, you have some good thoughts on this and I appreciate them.

Thanks,
Blend57

reply to post by blend57


with silk road down i take it you are looking for somebody to off him .

why did you not just say . is it insurance

we have all types here on a.t.s .

just joking the only thing i am wondering is what are animals like in his presence

My daughter (who has been around him more than me) Just said that our dog doesn't like to be around him. She barked at him only once, but she kind of backs away from him and doesn't really like to be next to him. Thats the only info I have regarding our pet acting weird, as I haven't been able to interact with him when he comes over.

reply to post by geobro


That is my response to another poster who asked the same question. That is all I have in regards to her acting weird for now.

Thanks,
Blend57

reply to post by blend57


many years ago my dog acted weird around a man who came to my sisters house .

the one and only time i ever saw this people friendly dog growl at a human in the 15 yrs i had him .

but later my sister told me that all animals and children acted weird in front of this man ????.

i would be keeping a eye on this fellow is the only advice that i can give sounds like a bit to much negative energy .

better safe than sorry and good luck

There have been many negative outcomes listed here; you know your experience with your husband and his friend better than anyone else here, so you'll have to think critically about how they fit into your context.

The fact is that the 'feeder' phenomenon always has two poles. A magnet would be an okay analogy, but it oversimplifies things. Think more like chemistry, where it is the nature of both elements involved, plus whatever conditions that surround them, which dictate the reaction. Feeder is one of many types of interactions which can occur, and it depends on both parties, as well as others which may be around, and other unspecified energies.

I would ask:
You mention that your interactions with the friend's wife have also been limited, because of your trying to avoid the friend. Have you had an interaction with the man only, where his wife was completely absent?

Or alternately, have you had the chance to interact with him with your husband absent?

I feel there may be 'feeder'-ing going on, but perhaps not in the direction which it would seem. Perhaps he is the feeder, but to your husband, creating an uncomfortable energy for you to occupy. Alternatively, consider that you yourself may be the feeder, but that this man's energy prevents success, again creating an uncomfortable energy.

It's going to take work on your part. Think about ways to spend sincere time with this man, so that things can flow and equalize as they should. Think about how you can dissipate the negative energies which arise, before they can come into contact with you. This could mean having other people around, and/or a change of setting, particularly to an outdoor area with open water, before you retry.

Char-Lee
reply to post by blend57

 

In my experience, I find that when this happens it is because you are fighting inside to not know something you already know, it is just to much for you to let into your conscious mind.

You are not me but this is what I have learned about myself and at this point after learning to well, I would watch, snoop, listen and see all I can of this man until I find out what is wrong. He is around your family, every monster seems to be a nice person so don't go by that.
Is there any mental component to the physical reaction you have? How old is your daughter?

The car seat could be related if this man is getting in the car to talk or hang out where they can be private with either your child or your husband?

The answer will not be on here but with you as we are all very different people in our experiences.

edit on 11-10-2013 by Char-Lee because: (no reason given)

I love love this answer, personally I think it's a possibility. Happened to a friend of mine recently...
anyway, some very wise points here.
Not saying it's definite though, obviously all options brought here are quite good, I just know that some cases the reply I quoted above is so pertinent!

reply to post by blend57

Yah, focus on the car seat. That is real. Someone is sitting in your car and pushing the seat back. They may not be driving anywhere either. Has anyone suggested they might be using your car to do drugs? It would be someone taller than you of course.

All the tricks suggested by others to catch someone should be applied.

To check if your car moves put a wooden matchstick or a cue tip under a tire wedged between the tread and ground. If you come out and the match is flattened then someone moved your car.

reply to post by blend57


You know this person is bad, you know this from the effect the vibes are having on you but your bloke cant see (or sense) it. This bloke is a nut case, front your bloke about it. If he wont terminate his relationship with this nutcase, get your kids and run your life is in danger.

I agree with the posters here who have said that you're probably reacting due to some sort of an empathic sense of something being wrong. Someone can appear outwardly nice and have a lot going on that we can't see on the surface.

Many years ago, when my sister got married, I was so upset by the priest who was presiding over their wedding that I could barely be in the same room with him. I saw all of this sickly yellow and green around him, and I felt overwhelming nausea and panic whenever I was in his presence. I could not for the life of me understand why no one else saw it or felt that way around him--it was so obvious to me something was seriously wrong with him. But everyone just thought he was wonderful. Several months later, he was convicted of multiple counts of child molestation.

I've had a number of experiences like this around certain people. It's a lot like being a human antennae. There's is nothing you can do to get rid of this if you have it. You have to learn to live with it and use it to your advantage. I'm sorry I don't have much advice about how to deal with this person being in your life, but I would set a clear boundary and minimize your time with him.

There is another possibility that's way out there--which is that there's some non-human entity that's attached to his energy field and wrecking havoc. But honestly, I think that kind thing is rare. Keep your eyes open and just avoid him. Your instincts are telling you something for a reason.

Your daughter thought he was weird, like in a hairy-sausage-sucking-fest kind of way?
Or was it in a hairless-crabjuice sort of way?

I get a strong vibe that his dude is gay and is trying to turn your husband that way, maybe that's the vibe you are getting. How did you say he found him, again?