What would cause this? (Personal ongoing experience)

reply to post by Char-Lee


Ohmygod.

Hahaha

Tusks
Sexual deviants and dopers can give off those bad vibes. I would not want the guy to be alone with either your husband or your daughter. Something is probably going on in your car--dope or sex being the most likely. Set up a trail camera that works on motion detection. Leave a window down. Unobtrusively keep an eye on him every so often when he visits.

Some good advice...security wise.

But a whole crap load of control freak there as well. Not saying that you are wrong, but maybe over reacting?

All security precautions should be done as a family so that all are aware.

Spying by yourself will tear a family apart in no time. Been there, Done that. (Actually, I will admit that it was for the better in my case).

I stand my ground for better or worse. Honesty is the best policy.

blend57
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

My daughter is eighteen and in college. She has not and never will be around him by herself. My husband and I have never left and would never leave our daughter alone with any of our friends. Just a rule we made when she was younger to keep her safe. I know, I'm overly protective, but what can I say?

My husband says he never got into the car and denies taking it anywhere. So, it's not him.

Thanks,
Blend57

I believe in being overprotective also, better safe then sorry!

My ex and I were married 22 years, we were close he called me many times a day just to say he loved me.

i believed i knew him inside and out, we talked and shared everything. Well one day I learned an 83 year old woman whose name kept coming up on things was actually 26 and he was "engaged" to her. She did not know about me. She actually called and thought I was the book keeper.

Turned out after i started opening my eyes and digging and calling numbers my beloved and trusted friend and companion of 22 years whom I raised two children with, had dozens of women, even though he came home and we did everything together some how he managed to have other homes with other women and masses of girlfriends and fiancé s of all ages from much younger to much older.

We never KNOW anyone we really don't and can't I tried to commit suicide as i still could not let myself see and believe what my heart somewhere deep already knew. I had always an ability to read people, I was aware when something was (wrong) around me...but I was oblivious to this.

BTW EVERYONE from Family to friends considered my husband a saint the most wonderful, honest kind and caring generous man.

Without waving around the "deeeemon" stick, here's a couple signs to figure out if this chap is an energy feeder of some sort.

1) headaches / nauseous feeling In his presence. (Check)

2) do you get sick for a period after he's been around, such as a cold or flu-ish symptoms.

3) is he abnormally gregarious? Does he seem to get along with everyone in his presence, yet outside his presence, some confess he's a bit odd/they're a bit uncomfortable? Also, does he get his way on topics of choice often?

4) here's a hard one to pin down. Does he like or cause dramatic, emotion laden situations or does he tell stories about "so and so did this or that to him" or have relationship craziness?

These are some classic signs of energy feeders. Often times and MOST of the time, they're not aware they're doing it, it's a subconscious act on their part but it can manifest as a lack of energy in you, which leaves you open to illness and headaches and the like.

If this is the case, there's nothing likely "evil" about it, more likely you need to avoid certain things, make some changes. The easiest one is to avoid having him in your home. Another is to avoid eye contact, touching and he generally less friendly. Seems odd but these are open doors to those who can draw energy. Another method might be to start practicing how to shield yourself.

One member posted above that it might be you intuition trying to tell you something subconsciously. I would SERIOUSLY consider this as a strong likelihood. Perhaps there's something going on in the house that your intuition is trying to tell you. How does your daughter act when he comes over? Watch for that.

(EDIT: Looks like while I was typing that, others beat me to the punch. Often, sexual predators are also energy feeders FYI. I think that's on the right track, to look to your kid and how she reacts, how he reacts in her presence too)

reply to post by Char-Lee



You'd hate me as I can be brutally honest. If you ask me if that outfit makes you look fat, I might honestly say yes, it does.

Of course, we all know what follows.

And as I run out the door.

Crap! I knew I should have hid that gun better.

reply to post by aptrgangr


From what I know, it can also work the other way around.

Where, the OP may be unconsciously "feeding," as you say, but the person in question has the ability to block/reflect such acts.

Supposedly, this leads to exactly the same symptoms, perhaps exacerbated since the person feeding is feeding off of themselves.

Check your PM's, blend57.

May have solved the car issue.. could just be a feature included in your make/model.

Best of luck to you,

-AA

reply to post by Char-Lee


That is a horrible and very sad situation you have lived through. I hope you have moved on and now are living a life that is a happy and healthy one.

As I said, I am open to everything/anything at the moment. And although it would tear me apart, I have considered afairs and things like that as well. But, I cannot justify or have no reason to believe that that is happening for now. And I have to trust in our relationship and him until I am shown something else.

Thanks for the response, and again, I am sorry you went through that.
Thanks,
Blend57

TDawgRex
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

You'd hate me as I can be brutally honest. If you ask me if that outfit makes you look fat, I might honestly say yes, it does.

Of course, we all know what follows.

And as I run out the door.

Crap! I knew I should have hid that gun better.

:-) I LOVE honesty, I have always been as honest as possible, yes people hate that about me.
I never believe I know anyone anymore which is hard but I accept this is truth also.

I HATE people telling me a lie when i ask a question (even about outfits making me look fat) so i would love you!

In fact i can no longer tolerate any lies.

reply to post by AsarAlubat


Thanks! That was very helpful and it may be what is happening with the car. will research it and PM you back the results!


Thanks,

Blend57

blend57
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

That is a horrible and very sad situation you have lived through. I hope you have moved on and now are living a life that is a happy and healthy one.

As I said, I am open to everything/anything at the moment. And although it would tear me apart, I have considered afairs and things like that as well. But, I cannot justify or have no reason to believe that that is happening for now. And I have to trust in our relationship and him until I am shown something else.

Thanks for the response, and again, I am sorry you went through that.
Thanks,
Blend57

Thanks i am lucky enough to have found someone who has no problem with my need for complete openness no hiding anything no secrets and no lies. I still will never completely trust again as I did it so deeply and freely for so long and was destroyed by it.

I saved my family and friends many times in my life by listening to my inner self, I would tell someone, I don't feel right about your new friend. Everyone had learned to listen to me when I said something like that since I was 11, I had been proved right over and over until it was accepted, and still i was blinded by myself for 22 years.

reply to post by Char-Lee


One of the things that I have found in life life is that if you are always looking for lies, you will find them. At some point you must trust.

But verify.

What a web we weave, eh?

reply to post by AsarAlubat

Wow, share with the group!
Because, if it is a built-in feature, wonder why it has only happened a few times, when the headache-man comes over?

OP:
I was going to suggest that instead of going to your room when he comes by, go sit in your car instead. If anybody approaches... busted!!!

Or, when he comes over, for each car door, cut a thin slip of paper and place it down low (inconspicuous) and close the door on it, so that it falls out if anyone opens the door. At least you'd know if SOMEBODY was getting in there.

Or, get a Halloween motion-sensor decoration and put it in the front seat. If anybody opens it, it will scare the sh*t out of them and maybe you'll hear it go off as well!

OR... coat some wax paper with Sharpie ink and tape it to the underside of the door handle. Look carefully at the dude's hands before he leaves. (This is how I caught the kid at school who systematically pushed the call-button to the office while lining up to go to the next class, haha.)

Or, AsarAlubat may have the answer... curious to know what you found out, AA!

reply to post by aptrgangr

3) is he abnormally gregarious? Does he seem to get along with everyone in his presence, yet outside his presence, some confess he's a bit odd/they're a bit uncomfortable? Also, does he get his way on topics of choice often?

This one is what my daughter said when I asked her about the dog. She said that she didn't really mind him but she felt he was kinda weird. I put it down to her being 18. Cuz she thinks both myself and her dad are weird. But she did mention it when I asked her about him.

As for the other things, I am unsure, I can ask my husband and see. I have a feeling i am going to have to tell him whats going on anyways. Pretty sure it won't help the situation, but I'm going to have to give him some reason why I won't "hang" with him and his friend pretty soon, or he is going to be carrying around some resentment towards me.

I'll let you know if I find anything else out about him.

Thanks,
Blend57

You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be friends with, nor because of marriage, do you have to be friends with your spouse's friend.

I don't even know why this is an issue. Tell your husband if he wants to visit with this guy, to do it out of your house and out of your sight; they can go to a bar or the park or bowling, whatever, you don't have to have mutual friends.

I'm guessing you're just allergic to the guy, his detergent, the pet he might have, residual chemicals from his work, whatever. It doesn't matter the source and you're within your rights to totally avoid him based on your reaction.

As far as the seats go, maybe it's the car resetting the driver settings; I have a car that has two settings for Driver 1 and Driver 2, but it's old and broken now. The mirrors may be getting old and losing their settings, or getting bumped in the garage.

Or, (I hate to even bring this up) you might have a poltergeist. Don't laugh, they're actually possible.

new_here
reply to post by AsarAlubat

 

Wow, share with the group!

Or, AsarAlubat may have the answer... curious to know what you found out, AA!

Out of respect of privacy to the OP, I have reduced my responses to PM's - however, it's quite general, and may not be the problem after all, so-

My hypothesis was that the seat moving on its own was due to an Easy Entry/Exit feature that might be integrated in the OP's car.

Research suggests a reset to this functionality.. however, the OP and I already ran into problems.

Oh well Keep banging those heads together!

Regards,

-AA

reply to post by blend57


Now see what you've started? Plenty of great replies though.

Now the trick is to sort through them and see how you feel about the methods. I wish you luck. Remember that friendship can support or erode a relationship such as a marriage.

Communication is key here. Maybe send the daughter off to a friends house and have a sit down with all three of you around a backyard campfire. Of course, talk it over with the husband first so he isn't surprised.

Ive had this problem with freinds, and I have usually been right about the feelings. Its a Gut feeling, and that is something you dont just brush off. Instead of going away from the guy, try to Engage him, ask him questions, and see if you can figure it out, without telling him what your feeling. As far as the seat goes, its probably a pretty easy explanation. Either someone moved it, looking for something, and forgot, or someone is sitting in there and not telling you whats going on.

reply to post by new_here


Wow, I never thought about all those things. (your a secret agent, aren't you )

I will do one or more of those things the next time he comes over and let you know. Plus I am still getting the camera.

As for the car, AsarAlubat pointed out a lever that has an easy exit function on it. My car doesn't have that lever, but he pointed me to a website that I can search through to see if there is some other solution.

Also, it is quite weird it happens when he visits. But i cannot say the two are related, as there is not enough evidence to support it right now.

I'll keep track of it and let you know what I find on the car.

Thanks,
Blend57

blend57
reply to post by Rosinitiate

 

I know, the bunny is constantly tortured.

I never thought about the empath thing, how do I fix it? Is there anything I can do to make it stop so I can be around him?

Thanks,
Blend57

Honestly I am not the one to ask. Although I still hang out with the person, sometimes its tumultuous to say the least. I am still plagued with issues regarding the same. hopefully your thread can shed some light for the both of us, however I am convinced it is an empath issue.