Do you ever feel like you don't fit in your body?

reply to post by antar


I am very interested in what you are saying. I am not sure if the whole OBE has anything to do with how I feel or not, though it has to have effected it. This is just one small piece, I have many other strange things that occur so that is why I am still interested in this idea.

I always felt that I did not belong in this society. I feel it is half deception. I feel alright in my body but my body is getting old while my mind is young. I will find a way to fix this problem in the future though, I have worked to restore my mind and with that I will find a way to repair this body that was damaged by wear and tear and pharmacutical drugs that I was found to be allergic to. I can't seem to cure the TLE epilepsy but the extra ability to think it creates can be harnessed.

As far as not feeling at home in the body, I have no other choice till I die. So I am going to get used to it, I am not into dying as of yet.

reply to post by UnifiedSerenity


That is awesome that you mentioned this. I was thinking of making a thread about the instant connection you have with seemingly random strangers. I had one occur just this past week. I am so drawn to this individual, it was such a nice comfort being in their presence. I was at peace, which isn't really me, I'm a bit socially awkward outside of work!lol They felt the same, they made a joke about us both being Capricorns but that was really the end of what was said about it.

reply to post by rickymouse


It isn't a great feeling is it? I have always told my friends that I think I'm from a different era, definitely not this one, which goes back to the not feeling comfortable. Is this the same kinda thing?

Sorry to hear about the health troubles, I understand that all too well but mine is opposite I am only 28 but I feel old inside and I have always thought it boiled down to all of my health issues.

reply to post by cappy85


You are in the world but not of the world.
Like a hole in the centre of a piece of paper is in the paper but not made of paper.

reply to post by Itisnowagain


That is a really good way to explain how I feel. Great analogy.

reply to post by cappy85


Ok I pulled a card for you...

"Unless you drop your personality you will not be able to find your individuality. Individuality is given by existence; personality is imposed by the society. Personality is social convenience.

Society cannot tolerate individuality, because individuality will not follow like a sheep. Individuality has the quality of the lion; the lion moves alone. The sheep are always in the crowd, hoping that being in the crowd will feel cozy. Being in the crowd one feels more protected, secure. If somebody attacks, there is every possibility in a crowd to save yourself. But alone? - only the lions move alone.

And every one of you is born a lion, but the society goes on conditioning you, programming your mind as a sheep. It gives you a personality, a cozy personality, nice, very convenient, very obedient. Society wants slaves, not people who are absolutely dedicated to freedom. Society wants slaves because all the vested interests want obedience."

Osho One Seed Makes the Whole Earth Green Chapter 4

Commentary:

"This card recalls an old Zen story, about a lion who was brought up by sheep and who thought he was a sheep until an old lion captured him and took him to a pond, where he showed him his own reflection. Many of us are like this lion - the image we have of ourselves comes not from our own direct experience but from the opinions of others. A "personality" imposed from the outside replaces the individuality that could have grown from within. We become just another sheep in the herd, unable to move freely and unconscious of our own true identity.

It's time to take a look at your own reflection in the pond, and make a move to break out of whatever you have been conditioned by others to believe about yourself. Dance, run, jog, do gibberish - whatever is needed to wake up the sleeping lion within."

reply to post by cappy85


I just want you to know you are not alone. Reading your posts has been a bit surreal for me, because it's like I wrote it... We are even the same age.

reply to post by cappy85


Society has changed since I was young, there are a lot more people locally that think only of themselves. I can still strike up a conversation with almost everyone, since I know about so many things.

I think that this body is a stepping stone. I don't know how it works or where I will go from here. Sometimes I do think dying would be peaceful but to leave this world without accomplishing what I need to is out of the question. It seems I am still needed so I am staying a while. The feeling of not belonging here in the first place is strong though, it seems like I should be doing something different. I can't figure out what though.

From my TLE I have depersonalization disorder and things don't feel real, I think that is derealization disorder or something like that. Nothing feels personal anymore, it is like I am an observer. That is alright, I have talked to a lot of old people and most say that is a part of the final maturing process. I guess the meds aged me a lot by destroying part of my liver and screwing up my kidneys. Then the doctors who did more damage to my body than anything I have ever done to myself have the Gall to tell me that smoking is bad for me. I'm not taking their meds to control my problems that I self medicate with, I will find my own medicines unless I really need something when I mess up a little or I get some sort of bad bug. I can't take medicines longer than two weeks. I only smoke a half a pack of butts or less a day too, not enough to cause serious damage.

cappy85
reply to post by hknudzkknexnt

 

That is somewhat I mean. I have had an OBE once but this is a constant feeling of separation. I don't feel all that stresed but maybe I should try more relaxtion or meditation?

you should definitely start if you haven't


your "disassociation" is merely you being more aware of Who is Aware

reply to post by antar


That is crazy, very relatable! I have been very much a people pleaser up until the last few months. It got me in a lot of trouble and I was always at war with myself. It was very much comfortable. I finally feel like I'm back to my old self. I don't care what others think, I am starting to see the bigger picture. I have learned of skills and hobbies that I never knew I had. It is definitely a huge transformation. That is so funny that you pulled that card. Thank you for doing that, because that is something I have been working on.

reply to post by anonyjai


Are you serious? You really experience this too? I feel like a crazy person sometimes, especially if I even mention anything of the sort to my friends.

I've always felt I ought to be taller(I am 5ft2 here and now)
After experimenting,whsat feels natural+"right" is me standing on the bonnet of our car-a Toyota Tazz.What would that be,7-8 feet tall?
Also I have one toenail that is not human but canine+i love Iit madly

reply to post by rickymouse


Wow, yes, simply just observing! You are right, sometimes you have look around and think "There has to be more." Thanks for sharing.

reply to post by Metaphysique


I'm "working" but I will watch the video when I get home. Thanks!

reply to post by Raxoxane


I guess it's something you just learn to live with, the reality of this world.

reply to post by cappy85


The feelings that you are having all individuals go through to some degree and it is a wake up call.
You are being called to wake up and find what is true. To find that you are not what you 'think' you are.

I offer this enlightening video.

I am not implying that you are depressed or giving you a label - do not be deceived by the title, or put off by it.

reply to post by Itisnowagain


I will watch this one too. I think depressing is a good word to use, to fill like unused potential or to feel like you are so insignificant to what you can and should be doing is somewhat depressing.

reply to post by cappy85


Cappy,I must say your not alone.
I feel the same........out of my time,alien,
I feel alien in my body,foreign to its needs,eating....emotions-I supress my emotions,I feel older than I really am.
I feel Like an old man Thats been through alot in life...

And I found out why.I am a alien consciousness in a human body,I have almost all my memories of my past alien life and ofcourse...the knowledge.

There is a possibility that your a alien also,...dont listen to other people....

I also have phsychic abilitys,sleeing the future is one of them.

Life is hard,it hard for me to act that im younger than I really am,its hard to act Like other people and its hard to live amoung "stupid" people Wich don't see the Real meaning of reality.
I know who I am and whats my purpose.
In the future ill need alies,maybe you could join me?

Hmmm..is this Avatar you picked your real face...because it looks familiar.

I hope you'l awncer me.

reply to post by Dalarn


"I supress my emotions,I feel older than I really am.
I feel Like an old man Thats been through alot in life... "
I completely feel this way, it is depressing.
This is me, unless you have me on Facebook, it shouldn't look familiar.lol