My Application to be a BBC News Reader

I don't mean to blow my own trumpet but I really think I'm in with a strong chance. I have written how I would read the news and I think I am just what they are looking for. I have written out my lines below that I will say during my soon to be SUCKSessful audition.

This is Tsu322 reporting for the BBC.

Today an earthquake of magnitude 7.7 has resulted in tremours that were felt in Iran. Two hundred and fifty people have died in one of the countries that borders Iran.

OK, I'm hearing something in my earpiece, hold on a second... It appears that the standoff that killed 67 people in a county only half the size of Iran has ended. When asked how they escaped the situation one of the survivors replied "I ran".

The economic downturn seems to be affecting more businesses than previously thought. One business owner spoke to the BBC about the Issue. He had this to say "It used to be that I ran a business. Now I don't."

Here is the sports news for today. Steven Lee has been banned from playing snooker at professional tornaments. He was accused of match fixings. When interviewed by the BBC mr Lee replied " I don't think I should be banned permanently. The only issue is that I ran a scam".

In a special report to air tonight at nine we will be asking Mo Farrah just exactly what he did during the 10,000 run.

Over to the weather... Well, its going to be quite heavy rain. I ran some numbers through the system and after I ran them through the system that I ran them through it appears the weather will be a lot rainier than it has been in Iran.

So what say you ATS? Do I have what it takes to work for a MSM corp?

reply to post by Tsu322




Lots of mentioning Iran? I don't get it?

reply to post by Tsu322


Brilliant,

It must be to early in the morning for me. I thought this was a serious piece until i saw this line "i ran a scam"



Edit to add a list:


-7.7 has resulted in tremours that were felt in Iran.
-Two hundred and fifty people have died in one of the countries that borders Iran
-half the size of Iran
-When asked how they escaped the situation one of the survivors replied "I ran".
-"It used to be that I ran a business. Now I don't."
- The only issue is that I ran a scam"
-I ran some numbers through the system and after I ran them through the system that I ran them through it appears the weather will be a lot rainier than it has been in Iran.

Isn't there a joke forum?

I get the point you're trying to make, butt... This is just silly. Haha-

reply to post by tracehd1


I'm not joking. Facecious definitely. Funny? I guess it could be if you don't live in Iran.

ATS, this is my truth.

Peace to all.

reply to post by tracehd1


I think this is the perfect board for this post. It emphasis the nuances of language that may subtly influence the listener or reader.

Bravo OP, i think you will make a fine mouth piece for the MSM

reply to post by Tsu322

Newreaders don't do their own writing.
They just read.
Carry a copy of the Guardian to the interview.

reply to post by Tsu322

Wow man, you got great skills on passing subliminal messages.

reply to post by MDDoxs


Thank you for emphasising 'I ran a scam" This is the flesh on the bones of my opinions.

I don't need to count sheep anymore, I just put the news on quietly.

reply to post by zilebeliveunknown


Thank you. Advertising does nothing to me, I just buy what I need.

Popping off topic for a skinny second I would advise all readers from refraining from listening to 'The Most Relaxing Song Ever'. I won't link it because I think you should all stay away from it, just in case.

reply to post by Tsu322


Really?

I listened to that. I did find it alarmingly relaxing.

Can you elaborate on your thoughts on that music?

reply to post by Tsu322


OP, help me out here.... What does a News Reader do, precisely? The title sounds like a paid version of what every one of the active and daily members here does already. We all do it for nothing....so whats the deal?

Is there actually a job out there in MSM to just read their stuff? Is the catch that you're in focus groups for reaction or polling for your feelings? I'm just lost as what value a "Reader" as opposed to Editor or Reporter would have for an MSM Corp to pay?

*I'll look into this myself..depending on what the job IS exactly. Surely other companies do it as well if this is all legitimate?

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


Wrabbit, the piece is a satire.

My apologies if you already realized.

I don't believe "reader" composes anything and just acts as a mouth piece.

reply to post by MDDoxs


My instant reaction was to be relaxed too. I felt very uneasy though listening to it. I kept thinking 'subliminals'.

My body reacted at first as if I was listening to one of those sleep meditations that tell you to relax and fall asleep, even when there is no audible voice.

I kept thinking over and over when I was listening to it 'Everything's OK, everythings OK'. My head was in a battle with itself because my own thoughts were 'NO! it most definitely is not!' It felt like a civil war in my head.

I can't offer any solid evidence that something is up with that video, but I have a strong impulse to not trust it. I think I see through it in the same way I see through MSM. It's hard to explain the feeling.

Imagine walking up to a shop with a gang of kids throwing stuff at passers by and your gut turns and you think 'Maybe I don't need milk after all'. That's kinda how I feel.

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


Thank you Wrabbit and much respect.

You show how easy it is for a viewer or reader to miss the subliminals in any given piece. I have read your posts here and I know you are a really intelligent guy. Serious.

I'm glad it was someone like you that came here and missed the point. It shows that it can happen to anyone. Thank you for that. Serious.

Peace.

An addition to my script...

BREAKING NEWS: This just in...

Apple have anounced the date of the release of it's new device. The device will assist athleats by monitoring blood pressure, heart rate and speed. The devive is to be held close to your heart. As close as you can get it.

The device will not be as expensive as other products and will be available to the masses at minimal cost.

iRan: coming soon.

All references to any institutions, persons or businesses other than the BBC are for reference only. No inference to any person, institution or business other than the BBC is implied. There are only opinions here in this post and in the OP that are spoken on a conspiracy site with regards to free speach.

If you want to get a job as a news reader with the MSM, concentrate on showing your lying capacities. ( Not the kind of lying to get laid..., but it may help! lol )

EDIT: Just to say I would disagree with your lying... lol meh!

Tsu322
reply to post by Wrabbit2000

 

Thank you Wrabbit and much respect.

You show how easy it is for a viewer or reader to miss the subliminals in any given piece. I have read your posts here and I know you are a really intelligent guy. Serious.

I'm glad it was someone like you that came here and missed the point. It shows that it can happen to anyone. Thank you for that. Serious.

Peace.

You'll understand if I don't get gleeful over having become the object lesson... nicely played though. Forum choice as well..since that is the first reason I took it seriously.

Whatever the cause tho... You got me, fair and square and you got me good. Luck of the draw I happened to be the one, indeed...but something to remember about remaining the skeptical bunny too. lol.....

reply to post by Tsu322

..it appears the weather will be a lot rainier..

Shouldn't that be 'a lot Irainier'?

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


Thank you so much for not taking it the wrong way, and for seeing the thread in the spirit intended.

It's good to be a skeptic, I'm with you on that one.