What Is My Mother?

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posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 11:30 AM
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I don't know what her diagnosis would be. I only know she is nuts.

She has the following traits:

* She is focused blindly on hating one person for perceived unfairness against her. She thinks she is targeted by this person because she has weeds growing in her yard where the landscaper was supposed to seed grass.

* She blames everything that happens to her on other people.

* She's deaf and won't get a hearing aid. If she can't hear you she blames it on you.

* She thinks the world should adapt to her needs, i.e., everything should operate according to her laws.

* Everything is a crisis.

I'm tearing my hair out. Sometimes I really hate to be around her because she is so unpleasant.

What is she?!




posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 11:44 AM
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reply to post by Restricted
 

A petty narcissist with a victimization syndrome (unfortunately, I am familiar with the type). Not much you can do about it except keep your distance whenever possible and patronize them (their only weakness).

Sorry you have to deal with it at all.




posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 11:50 AM
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greencmp
reply to post by Restricted
 

A petty narcissist with a victimization syndrome (unfortunately, I am familiar with the type). Not much you can do about it except keep your distance whenever possible and patronize them (their only weakness).

Sorry you have to deal with it at all.



She is really unbearable at times. It's very stressful to deal with her. I often have to limit contact just to survive psychologically.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 11:57 AM
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Who knows.. who cares. She is toxic so run far far away. There are plenty who will disagree with me, but family or friend... you bring too much drama or negativity in my life I cut you out. Completely severed from me.
Its served me well and I have a pretty darned content life. Who needs negativity that close to them? Not me.. Either youre the type who CAN and has the skills to deal with that BS, or youre like me who has no inclination or skills to deal with that crap.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 11:57 AM
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reply to post by Restricted
 
She is your mother...she is elderly(assuming this because of the hearing aid, although you did not mention her age)...Just keep a good support system for yourself if you need to vent after you visit her...Try to have patience when you are dealing with her, her world is so much smaller than yours is, as we age it does that to many...I am 50 yrs. old so I can empathize with you both...My mom can get on my nerves at times but, she is still my hero...just keep in mind that our moms will not be here or us here on this blue marble forever...try to find the things you do like about her and meet her in that place...

I am not a DOCTOR just a caring human...take care and give her a hug...




posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 12:10 PM
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shells4u
reply to post by Restricted
 
She is your mother...she is elderly(assuming this because of the hearing aid, although you did not mention her age)...Just keep a good support system for yourself if you need to vent after you visit her...Try to have patience when you are dealing with her, her world is so much smaller than yours is, as we age it does that to many...I am 50 yrs. old so I can empathize with you both...My mom can get on my nerves at times but, she is still my hero...just keep in mind that our moms will not be here or us here on this blue marble forever...try to find the things you do like about her and meet her in that place...

I am not a DOCTOR just a caring human...take care and give her a hug...


I believe that your situation is very different than what we are talking about although, you are right that she can't just abandon her mother no matter how bad she is.

Short of being able to get away, I was recommending a little occasional push back in the form of condescension as it seems to be the only button that still works on an otherwise dysfunctional human apparatus.

Good luck and the only thing I forgot to mention is to let it go if you can. Take a deep breath when you part company so the madness does not follow you. Half-smile



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 12:12 PM
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reply to post by shells4u
 


She may be my mother, but I'm not a big fan. I forgot to mention she is verbally abusive and was also physically abusive when we were kids. Whenever she got mad about something, which was daily, she'd take it out on us.

She's also a workaholic and anally retentive to the extreme. Example: She will dig up every weed in the yard, even if it takes her hours.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 12:55 PM
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reply to post by Restricted
 


She sounds just like my ex-wife. In her case, it was a chemical imbalance.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 01:36 PM
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reply to post by greencmp
 


I make jokes all the time to ease the tension. She doesn't get most of them.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 01:37 PM
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reply to post by Okeyd57
 


She'll never go to a psych or take meds, so I'm screwed.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 01:59 PM
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Border line personality disorder



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 02:00 PM
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And no joke I have one that does everything you listed to a T. I love her but it is extremely draining and toxic as a relationship.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 03:14 PM
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reply to post by bananamamma
 


I'm sorry you are suffering as I am.
These smilies suck.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 05:07 PM
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It must be hard. It sounds like she is afraid of the world changing, afraid of other people's intentions, and she copes by being mean and selfish. If you don't care about her let her die miserably and alone. Don't ever talk to her again, and if you do, be very mean about it. It's for her own good, right?
Have you ever seen throw mamma from the train? That might be a good solution for everyone. You can also take her on a trip to the Netherlands. "Mom, if you don't want a hearing aide, how about physician assisted suicide?"
Netherlands
And if you don't like that idea, maybe you can think back to when someone gave you more chances than you deserved. I know that I would be screwed without all the chances I have been given. I agree with an earlier post that she is your mother. And even if you don't like it, she is a human. And if that doesn't sway you, that is why I have given you the solution for what other people might do in your situation. I am not trying to be mean, but you have the ability to be the leader in this situation, and change her life incrementally for the better.
I am sure you know how to make lemonade, but if not here is a recipe:
recipe for life's lemons



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 05:19 PM
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reply to post by apydomis
 


I feel sorry for your family.



posted on Sep, 24 2013 @ 05:59 PM
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Restricted
reply to post by apydomis
 


I feel sorry for your family.

wtf was that?

As I said, try a little patronizing, you could just be a little sarcastically over accommodating. If she gets annoyed she will send you away.

At least it shows that you can recognize her cruelty without reciprocating overtly. That 's what I have been doing and while I can't say that it 'works' (since what does that mean anyway?), it has been minimizing some of the symptoms.

Simply put, treat her like a child, she will not like that but, she won't get irate.



posted on Sep, 25 2013 @ 12:59 AM
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reply to post by apydomis
 


I am sure that there is no way to take back what I said, and for that I apologize. I am deeply embarrassed by taking this thread personally, and spewing angry, arrogant, and completely ignorant stupidity on my part. Please forgive me as I learn to temper my tongue, my understanding, and my humility.
I hope that you were able to view me as such, and no serious harm was done to anything but my character.



posted on Sep, 25 2013 @ 10:01 PM
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apydomis
reply to post by apydomis
 


I am sure that there is no way to take back what I said, and for that I apologize. I am deeply embarrassed by taking this thread personally, and spewing angry, arrogant, and completely ignorant stupidity on my part. Please forgive me as I learn to temper my tongue, my understanding, and my humility.
I hope that you were able to view me as such, and no serious harm was done to anything but my character.

No worries, I understand that sometimes our fingers get a little ahead of ourselves. The important thing is that you came back and corrected it.

We all make mistakes (I sure do!) so thanks for clarifying. This is, in fact, how we become better people.



posted on Oct, 4 2013 @ 09:41 PM
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people are people no matter who they are that what you shoukd tell yourself





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