Fastest way to get through a border patrol checkpoint

Ever get tired of sitting at a checkpoint getting asked too many questions? In a hurry to get somewhere?

Try this next time, and it'll speed things up.

reply to post by buni11687


roflmao!!! Thanks for that one!!! Made my day!

reply to post by buni11687

I think that qualifies as using the lord's name in vain!

reply to post by greencmp


HAHA, it wasn't done in vain since it got immediate results, but on the other hand yeah, it would perhaps not get points from on high, providing he is using the points system.

Haha! I got a better story for ya. My buddy had these Mormon kids visiting his house frequently to tell him about the word of god, yada yada. So one time, he invites them in. And after talking to them for a while, he asks, "Why aren't there any girl Mormons that come around?"

They just hand off some feeble excuse and he says, "Don't tell me you Mormons are all...gay?" They didn't like that response very much and started to get intense. So my buddy pretends to be disappointed and says, "Well, that's the whole reason I invited you in here. I thought we could get a little more...personal. I do like young men."

Those Mormons suddenly remembered some pamphlets they absolutely had to retrieve. They never returned.

And in the spirit of this thread, try putting on a robe, getting a glass of wine, and putting on some porno. When you answer the door, swirly the wine and say, "Oh, we were just discussing him!" The sounds from the video will start playing and that should work.

I can just imagine smugglers becoming sudden converts all over, for as long as it works.. lol.

...and next week, reports carry about how simply seeing a Bible in a car gets 5 hour holds for bumper to bumper checks..